Ordinary Girl
by sparklymeg
Summary: Comfortable. Safe. Protected. Ordinary. This way no one can break her again. He's a beautiful stranger in a bar who is determined to be let in. Drabble-ish, short chapters, All human, rated M for lemons/language. WORK IN PROGRESS drabble fic which turned into more - longer chapters further into the story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **

**Hi everyone! so this my first attempt at posting a fic. I am working on a few different things but i wanted to start with this - a little drabble fic based on a prompt that another author on here does on her blog every week. Once a week a prompt is posted and you have to write 200 words. so this is going to be a little short chapter, multichapter drabble fic really to help me practice my writing skills. hope you enjoy! **

**Not beta'd so all mistakes are mine! Thanks lovelies :) **

* * *

Eat. Work. Sleep.

_Repeat. _

And so it went, for 3 years, since _he_ had gone.

Day in, day out. Mundane. Lonely.

_Ordinary._

She moseyed on. It could be worse.

Sometimes a song, a smell or a TV show would remind her of _him_. And in those moments the fury buried inside would simmer over, threatening to erupt. She would smoke her brains out and drown in red wine. And forget. _Again._

Making her way to the bar, she ignored the admiring looks from other men, lowering her eyes. It was easier this way.

_Heard one lie, heard them all._

This way, she was safe. Comfortable.

_Ordinary._

She smacked into what felt like a brick wall. She looked up.

A broad, masculine chest

Thick coppery brown hair, flopping over his face on one side

Deep, jade green eyes that she wanted to dive into.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," the beautiful stranger said. His words were laced with velvet, dripping honey and in that moment, _time stood still._

And right then she knew the walls around her heart would come tumbling down like a house of cards.

And suddenly she was ready to let go of _ordinary._

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**_a/n _let me know what you think :) mwah! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters **

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"I'm so sorry. Let me buy you a drink. Make up for almost knocking you over." He quirked an eyebrow at her, and his gaze travelled up and down her body.

She averted her eyes and scanned the room, desperately searching for a distraction. She was intoxicated – partially by the red wine – partially by him. Despite the blood ringing in her ears, her heart almost pounding out of her chest, she knew that someone so extraordinarily beautiful could only mean one thing.

_Trouble._

"I… Um…" she stuttered, trying to shuffle around him. He side stepped, blocking her path, grinning. "I'm meeting my friend, she's waiting for me."

"Oh – is she around here? Why don't you both come and join my friend and me? What's your poison?"

_Beautiful strangers like you are my poison._

Panic overwhelmed her. A bead of sweat trickled down the back of her neck. She wrapped her clammy hands around herself.

She was no stranger to being hit on in a bar. While she avoided it as far as possible by avoiding eye contact, closed off body language and giving off a general vibe of _"don't come near me if you value your balls", _it still happened now and again. She had no problem shooting them down and walking away.

It was easier that way.

_Safe._

This man would be her undoing. She was sure of it. She could no longer think clearly nor string a sentence together. Her breathing hitched as she finally met his eyes.

_Big mistake._

She could feel the walls crumbling. That house of cards, one by one, tumbling down.

"Um…I'll have a cabernet sauvignon." The words tumbled out before she even realised what she had said.

_Wait, what? _

* * *

**a/n let me know what you think :) mwah!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters**

**This drabble fic is not beta'd so excuse any mistakes :) **

* * *

**Chapter Three**

The warm soothing liquid trickled down the back of her throat. He lifted the bottle to pour her another glass, but she set her hand over the glass and shook her head.

"Please, no more. I've had enough," shaking her head, protesting.

"Come on, I can't finish this bottle all by myself pretty girl, where's your friend? Maybe she'll want a glass?" he winked at her and moved his chair closer to hers.

Mere inches between them, she was suddenly overwhelmed all over again. The heat between her and this beautiful stranger was palpable.

"Um… I guess she's running late," she said, pulling out her cellphone, making a show of checking for a missed call or text message. "Where's your friend?" she asked.

"He's around here somewhere." He shrugged, nonchalant as he scanned the room.

She took the opportunity to study his profile. A long, slim face, high cheekbones and a sharp, angular jaw line, there was almost a feminine quality to his features.

Thick eyebrows and three-day-old stubble that covered his cheeks all the way down his neck to his Adams apple, balanced out the feminine features.

Broad shoulders, long, lean torso and slim waist, a hint of ink peeking out from below the sleeve of his t-shirt.

_All man. _

"So aren't you gonna tell me your name? I'm Edward." He held his hand out for her to shake.

"You can call me B," she said. She jumped at the electric shock when she shook his hand. She must have over-brushed her hair this evening. She pulled away quickly. "Maybe I will have another glass."

"B for Beautiful?" he said, his eyebrows waggling.

She filled her glass half way and snorted. "Sure, if you say so."

"I do say so."

She searched his eyes for a hint of sarcasm, mocking, but could find nothing.

_Liar_

"Well, B, you wanna get out of here?"

_This guy is good. _

She downed the glass in one go.

_A beautiful liar. _

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**a/n send me a review and Edward will buy you a bottle of Cab! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters **

**Unbeta'd so excuse silly mistakes :) **

* * *

**Chapter Four **

Eat. Work. Sleep. _Repeat._

Weekends were different, but only marginally.

Eat, work, drink, drink, pass out. _Forget. _

Alcohol numbed the pain that had crushed her for almost three years. That gut-wrenching, heart-shattering pain that had chipped away at her self esteem and stripped her of all confidence.

She had long forgiven him and let him go. She had moved on, had great friends, had just made partner at Jenks&Masen, Chicago's most reputable law firm, and had just purchased a brand new Lexus.

Life was _peachy_.

Except for the all-consuming loneliness that came with the comfortable little bubble she lived in.

She pulled out her cellphone and typed a text message.

**_Where are you? I'm calling it a night, don't feel so good. Don't worry about me - B_**

It would make a nice change, to feel something other than numb, rejected, lonely, scared. She was a robot, barely functioning, existing on these emotions alone.

And sure this beautiful stranger was probably just like the rest of them. But their close proximity brought a new wave of emotions, crashing down upon her like a torrential downpour.

Heat.

Fire

Passion

_Desire._

These emotions were foreign to her. But a feeling deep in the pit of her stomach was egging her on. Goading her.

"Sure. Your place or mine?"

* * *

**A/N **

**Thanks for all the reviews so far. This is all very new to me, but the response is great so far! Kisses xxxx **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. **

**Unbeta'd so excuse any silly mistakes! :) **

* * *

**Chapter Five**

He linked his fingers through hers and led her out of the bar. He hailed a cab and as it pulled up, opened her door, motioning for her to get in.

"After you, beautiful," he whispered, his voice deep and husky. He lowered his hand to the small of her back as she stepped forward into the cab.

"It's 421 Belmont," he said to the cab driver. Turning to her, he quirked an eyebrow and lowered his mouth to her ear. "My place it is, pretty girl."

His nose nuzzled the spot just below her ear. His lips planted soft, fluttering kisses from her ear, along her jawline, until he settled at the corner of her mouth. Her breathing hitched and she let out a breathy moan. His cock twitched at the sound.

He'd wanted her the moment he'd laid eyes on her. Long, wavy chocolate brown hair that framed her heart shaped face, porcelain skin and huge brown eyes, she was pretty in an understated way. Simple…Natural.

_Fucking Beautiful. _

He'd watched her in the bar, how she ignored all the other guys, how she'd walked with her eyes on the floor and her arms folded across her clutch bag, hiding herself away.

_Fucking Beautiful Disaster._

The girl was in pain, that much he could tell. The way she closed herself off, avoided eye contact. She wasn't a cock tease. The vibe she gave off was so obvious – no confidence. She had no idea how beautiful she was or the appeal she held.

He was going to show her. Give her back her confidence. Someone so beautiful should shine, not shy away from the world.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, B" he whispered. His eyes met hers, looking for a sign. "You need to tell me stop if this isn't what you want."

She blushed and squeezed her thighs together. He smirked, leaning in.

"I want." She licked her lips in anticipation.

"What you want, B?" his forehead pressed to hers, breathing heavy, his eyes bored into hers, questioning, goading, urging her to say it.

"I want you."

_Fuck yes. _

* * *

**A/N **

**Well have to leave it there for tonight as it's close to midnight here in the UK and I have to work tomorrow morning! Sorry to leave it on a cliffie! next up some lemony Goodness! I hope to update several times daily as its just short chapters. No idea how long this is going to be, Bella has a lot to say, so does Edward. A journey for both of them! Thanks for the reviews so far! Kissess xxx **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N **

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. Dirty talking Edward however, totally owns my ass. **

**Unbeta'd so excuse any silly mistakes! **

**I decided i couldnt sleep until i got it typed and off my chest - first attempt ever at writing a lemon so very nervous about this one! :) **

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"Oh God… Oh…Edward…fuck…harder…" she panted, as he grabbed her behind the knee and hooked her leg over his shoulder. He turned his face and planted wet sloppy kisses up and down the inside of her calf as he thrust harder, burying himself deep inside her.

She was so fucking hot. The shy, stuttering girl he'd almost knocked over in the bar not two hours ago, was now a sweaty, writhing mess underneath him. Wanton, sexy, begging for him to fuck her harder.

Her hair splayed out across his pillow, a fine sheen of sweat across her forehead, eyelids fluttering.

_Breathtaking._

She dug her nails into his backside, pulling him deeper, until he hit that sweet spot deep inside her. He swivelled his hips with every thrust. She was so tight.

"You. Are. So. Fucking. Hot."

Each word followed by a deeper thrust, each thrust earning a whimper from her. She was close, he could tell. He slipped his hand in between them to where they were joined and rubbed fast, desperate circles around her clit. God she was so wet.

"Oh Edward…yes… right there…" she moaned, as she threw her head deeper into the pillow.

"Yeah? You like that pretty girl? You like my cock deep inside you don't you baby?"

She moaned a deep guttural sound that made him even harder. He was so close, but he needed her to finish first.

"You need this don't you baby? Come on B, come all over my cock."

He sank his teeth into her neck and sucked hard, his other hand rubbing furiously at her clit as he thrust as deep as he could. He felt her clench around him as her moans became higher pitched.

She arched her back and screamed out, head flailing from side to side as she came, her walls squeezing his cock, pulling his orgasm out of him violently. Three more long, sharp thrusts and he was spilling into her, the pleasure rolling over him in waves as he came harder than he ever had before.

With a final shudder he collapsed on top of her sinking his lips to hers, peppering sweet, chaste kisses all over her face and neck. He tasted salty liquid on her face and looked up to see tears spilling from her eyes.

_Well Holy Shit. _

* * *

**A/N *runsandhides***


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**I do not own** **Twilight or any of it's characters **

**Unbeta'd so excuse any silly mistakes. **

* * *

**Wow! Thanks for the response so far to the last chapter! my first experience of writing a lemon so that was nerve-wracking!**

**Shoutout to quietdrabble tfor encouraging me to expand this flashfic!**

**And on with the show, see you on the other side :)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

She gasped, and froze, as reality came crashing down on her like a freight train. The cabernet sauvignon induced haze that had numbed her senses and muddled her judgement, was slowly clearing to reveal a huge lapse in her normal Saturday night routine.

_Routine. _

_Routine _dictated that after a socially-acceptable-but-not-enough-to-be-smashed amount of red wine, several cocktails with Alice, dancing around their purses and a taxi home by one am, she would be sound asleep by 1.15am and fresh for her Sunday morning run.

She wasn't sure what had caused her to deviate from the _norm._

This beautiful man was on top of her, still inside her, his full weight bearing down on her as he covered her face with his soft lips and kissed away her tears.

_Tears? _

He sensed the shift in mood, and felt her tense below him. In an attempt to soothe her impending freakout, he continued the assault with his lips as they moved away from her face and down her neck. His tongue darted out to trace the line of her carotid artery and he could feel her pulse quicken under his touch.

"I…need…" she started, unsure of what she meant to say.

"What do you need, pretty girl?" he asked, bringing his hands up to cup her face. His thumb traced gently over her cheekbone, wiping away one last tear. She turned her face away from his touch.

"I should go, I have to be up really early…I…um…" she stuttered, struggling over the right words to say to this beautiful stranger. She placed her hands firmly against his chest in and pushed him away.

He rolled off, groaning at the loss of contact, disposing of the condom in the trashcan by his bed. He suppressed an eye roll.

"Hey beautiful, come on, it's late, I'm not letting you go home yourself in this state. I'll take you home in the morning. Scout's honour."

She was pretty sure the smile he smiled right then was the same one that had made her lose all sense of propriety when she had said yes to his offer of buying her a drink, yes to coming home with him, and yes, yes, yes when he had fucked her senseless.

"Ok, I'll stay." She whispered, as she lowered herself back into the bed. His strong arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her body flush against his, her back to his chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"Sleep, pretty girl."

_I am so fucked_, was her last thought before sleep engulfed her.

* * *

**So! Bella really needed that but as you can see it is very out of character for her. She is a bit OCD about her routine.**

**What will happen the morning after? **

**Some fic recommendations for you: **

**-the lake house, deep wounds by quiet drabble, in fact anything by quietdrabble, she has a beautiful way with words!**

**- pound of flesh, help wanted by jaxon22**

**- caged by savage7289**

**-cocktails at eclipse by twilightladies1 - I pre-read for this fic and I am really enjoying it!**

**follow me on twitter megan_timms - ****See you next time! Reviews please! KISSES XXXX**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**Chapter Eight**

The morning sunlight shone through Edward's window, casting shadows along the bedroom wall in straight lines the shape of the window blinds. The sun was so bright that he could see dust particles streaming through the air. Car horns and the busy city sounds from the street below invaded Edwards mind, assuring him that sleeping any later would be next to impossible.

A glance at the bedside clock told him it was 11.13am.

_Wow._

Edward never slept past nine am on a weekend morning. But then he had been thoroughly worn out the night before. After passing out for an hour, he'd been having an extremely erotic dream about the beautiful girl from last night. A girl whose full name he didn't even know. He'd woken at one am to discover that it wasn't in fact a dream, and looked down to find "B" sucking him off.

_Best dream ever._

They'd made love twice more after that, in the shower, where he'd returned the favour and then bent her over the tiles and slammed into her hard from behind.

They passed out again after that, only for him to wake again at four am to her palming his cock as she played with herself.

_Best. Sex. Ever._

A small smile played on his lips as he became aware of his morning wood. Rolling over with every intention of a repeat performance, his hand was met with a cold, empty pillow beside him.

Edward sat up in bed, taking in the room around him. His clothes were in a heap where they had been hastily discarded in their heated frenzy the night before. Her clothes however were nowhere to be seen.

_Huh._

As he climbed out of the bed and headed towards the bathroom, he noted that there was no evidence of her presence in his room at all, until he stepped on something cold and plastic. He looked down at the small, credit card sized item.

_Bingo._

**A/N**

**So...where'd she go? And what did he find? **

**See you next time mwah xx **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters **

**Un-beta'd so excuse any silly mistakes :) **

**ALSO my laptop charger broke this afternoon! Boo :( So i am updating using the Office app on my phone. Time consuming and there may be small mistakes in formatting so my apologies. But i want to get this written while it's buzzing around my head! see you on the other side :) **

**Chapter Nine**

Coffee. Paperwork. Emails. _Repeat._

And so it went, every Monday morning at Bella Swan's desk at the offices of Jenks&Masen.

This was the _norm._

_Routine._

_Ordinary._

Despite the monotony of Mondays, Bella enjoyed her job and was excited to have just made partner at the prestigious firm.

_Jenks, Masen and Swan, _she thought with small smile.

Her highest career ambitions were finally coming to fruition after a long hard slog. She had worked hard to get here and had made a lot of sacrifices along the way. Bella was comfortable in her world of work, jogging, red wine nights with Alice and re-runs of _Greys Anatomy. _

On this Monday morning however, she was distracted. Despite her success in her career and her iron clad daily routine, for the first time ever she had a nagging voice at the back of her mind that wouldn't let up.

_Is this it? _

The question had pursued her thoughts relentlessly since she had high-tailed it from Edward's bed the previous morning. Having woken up deliciously tender in the arms of the beautiful God-like creature, she'd made a swift exit without disturbing him, in an attempt to avoid the awkward sober reality that would hit them both in the cruel light of day.

Never mind that he had blown her mind and given her three delicious orgasms in one night.

Never mind that he was quite possibly the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes upon.

Never mind that she had broken every rule she had made for herself by responding to the attentions of a random guy in a bar and going home with him.

Never mind that despite these rules, she had felt inexplicably drawn to him and hadn't been able to stop thinking about him ever since.

The fact remained that she, Bella Swan - succcesful attorney, perpetually prudish and self confessed spinster, destined to be eternally single - did not behave this way. She did not have one night stands. She did not act on impulse. She didn't really do anything _out of the ordinary._

She had to knock this on the head. Forget it happened and continue with the _norm._

_Yes, _she answered the nagging voice inside her head. _This _is _it. _

An abrupt knock at her office door pulled her from her musings.

"Come in," she called out, returning her eyes to her computer screen.

"Well, well, if it isn't the great disappearing act, Ms. Bella Swan!" a familiar voice said as her office door swung open.

_I am so fucked. _

**A/N **

**Wellllllll who is at the door? **

**Reviews please! Until next time loves xxx **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N **

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. **

**Unbeta'd and updated from my phone, pardon any silly mistakes :)**

**Chapter Ten **

When it came to her best friend, Alice Brandon's patience was wearing thin. While she had every sympathy for her friend's broken heart, and had played the role of "supportive shoulder to cry on" to perfection, taking Bella out for nights on the town, girlie spa days and shopping trips, Alice was at the end of her tether.

And while Alice sympathised, she couldn't truly understand Bella's pain. She knew there was nothing Bella found more offensive than the old cliche: "_I know how you feel"._

Alice longed for Bella to move on and start enjoying life again. Bella would insist she was fine with the way things were.

_Fine._

Alice hated the word. She would be a millionaire by now if she had a nickel for every time she heard it from her best friend.

She sometimes felt guilty for feeling this way toward Bella, she knew _he _had really done a number on her. But it had been three years! Bella needed to stop wallowing in her own self pity and fight back against the feelings of inadequacy, self loathing and self blame that _he _had ignited in her. Sure, he was an asshole and treated her horribly, but Bella was all too comfortable with herself now and tarred all guys with the same brush.

The previous Saturday night, Alice had invited along some of their co-workers to join them for drinks, with every intention of setting Bella up with Garrett, the cute new lawyer from the litigation team. He was smart, funny, handsome and ambitious, and would treat Bella like a queen. He'd been hounding Alice for weeks to set him up with Bella. This was the perfect opportunity.

So Alice was beyond pissed when the cab she'd been riding in had overheated and broke down, forcing her to get out and walk the remainig five blocks to _Eclipse, _the cocktail bar they frequented on a Saturday night. Garrett had called to say he couldn't make it because his mother was sick, and the other co-workers she had invited had also made their excuses.

Upon arriving at _Eclipse, _a text from Bella feigning illness was the final straw.

So when she arrived at Bella's office door on Monday morning, ready to chew Bella out for bailing on her, she was startled by the sight before her.

Blushing cheeks.

Wide eyed like a deer caught in headlights.

A strange, foreign look on Bella's face, almost...

_Guilty._

Alice grinned at the revelation.

_Bella Swan got laid._

**A/N **

**So what do we think of Alice? **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any it's characters.**

**Unbeta'd and updated from my phone :)**

**Chapter 11**

"Well, well, if it isn't the great disappearing act, Ms Bella Swan!"

"I could say the same for you Alice Brandon," Bella retorted with a smirk, as she rose from her desk to greet her best friend.

"I tried to call you to let you know I was running late, Bella. Your phone kept going straight to voicemail." Alice replied, pulling Bella in for their usual greeting of a hug and air kisses.

"Huh. That's weird. I guess the signal wasn't so good in the club. I got so sick Alice, I guess it was a 24 hour thing, I feel fine now."

Bella knew the game was up when Alice raised both eyebrows and cocked her head to one side. Hand on hip, Alice's eyes searched Bella's face. She seemed to ponder over her words for a few seconds.

"I call bullshit, Swan." Alice deadpanned. "I dare you to try that line again and look me in the eye. You look like Ronald McDonald with that blush!"

"Dammit, Alice!" Bella huffed, and returning to her chair, flopped down into it, resting her elbows on the desk and her head in her hands. Alice knew her too well.

"Come on Swan, you can't bullshit a bullshitter! You hooked up!" Alice screeched delightedly, clapping her hands and jumping up and down like a kid with a shiny new toy. "Tell me _everything!_"

"Alice please, I'm so ashamed, I can't believe I went home with a virtual stranger!"

"So you _did_ hook up? I knew it!" Alice squealed again and plonked herself down in the chair across from Bella.

Bella knew she had never been a good liar.

_Unlike him._

"I think I need another coffee before I get into this," Bella said, rising from her chair again.

_Here comes the interrogation._

**A/N**

**Reviews please? xxxx **

**More tomorrow :))) **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**You guys! I am soooooo sorry about the long delay - my laptop is still broken and I cant really get into the writing groove on my tablet or phone :( I never intended to have a week between updates but real life was crazy busy last week too! **

**Unbeta'd and updated from my phone, sorry for any typos :)**

**To the guest reviewer who said, "Nice, you sure this is your first?", yes this is my first fic. So I am flattered by all the positive feedback so far. You guys rock! **

**Now let's see where Bella's head is at. See you on the other side :) **

**Chapter Twelve**

"It was like...he was like...uhh.." Bella trailed off, trying to find the right words to describe her encounter. The girls sat at a small table in the corner of Starbucks, sipping their lattes. Alice had insisted on getting out of the office for an impromptu coffee break, something Bella never did, and Alice was dumbfounded by Bella's lack of resistance.

_Another first for Bella, _Alice mused.

"God Alice, I can't even explain it. I mean, hot guys have hit on me before. I couldn't walk away this time. We were like magnets. There was this connection ya know?"

"I know exactly what you mean, Bella." Alice replied with a smirk, her words dripping sarcasm.

"God Alice! Why do I even tell you anything? You just - just -" Bella broke off with an exasperated sigh and lowered her eyes over her coffee cup, avoiding Alice's scrutinizing gaze.

Alice rolled her eyes, waiting for Bella's mini tantrum to pass. Bella drew in a deep calming breath. She wasn't really mad at Alice, just at herself for her out of character behaviour. Bella knew she would spill all the details, she never kept anything from her friend.

"Come on, Bella, _'woe is me'_ is not a good look on you. You know you had a good time. Quit beating yourself up over it. Now _tell me everything!"_ Alice squeaked, with a devilish glint in her eye.

Bella cleared her throat and prepared to bare her soul to her best friend, trying to make some sense of the conflicting thoughts that had swirled around in her head since she'd left Edward's bed.

_Rip the band aid off._

"Alice," she began, leveling her eyes to her friend. "I am so fucked. The minute I laid eyes on him I knew I was fucked - no pun intended. There was this electricity between us. Like I said, magnets. I was drawn to him. It was like I had no control over my own body Alice! I was like a puppet and he pulled the strings. And we didn't even talk that much!" Bella realised she was rambling, and took another deep breathe before pausing for a sip of coffee. Alice nodded, motioning for her friend to continue.

"I mean, we exchanged the usual pleasantries, discussed red wine, and within half an hour he was all over me in the back of a cab! And the sex! Fuck!"

Alice flinched at Bella's outburst. Her friend never swore, and her eyes were wide with excitement, sparkling with something Alice had never seen before.

"It was the hottest thing I've ever experienced. I mean...even better than it ever was with _him. _ But it was like I wasn't even me. All of a sudden I was this begging, crazy mess, getting off on dirty talk. And boy did he have a dirty mouth. I don't know what happened Alice but something just snapped in me when he looked at me. One look and I was done for. Like all the pent up anger and frustration was bursting to get out and be replaced by pure, raw, hot sex. It was like my body knew I needed it. I just wanted to feel again, feel something, feel anything but what I've felt for the last three years..." she trailed off sadly, sighing, before downing the rest of her drink.

"But it doesn't matter anyway," she continued, dropping her eyes to her lap. "I got out of there as quick as I could the next day before we could do the awkward morning after _'don't call me, I'll call you' _exchange. I don't even know his last name."

Alice was dumbfounded for the second time that day by the sight before her. Something had shifted in Bella, as a result of her one night stand, even if momentarily.

"Bella Swan! Did you fuck and duck?" Alice burst into fits of giggles as Bella looked anxiously around the small cafe.

"Dammit, Alice keep it down! Like I said, it doesn't matter, it's not like I'm gonna see him again. This is a big city, the chances of running into him again are slim!"

"Bella, there's something about this guy. Call it a hunch," Alice replied as she finished her coffee, slurping the last sip. She quirked an eyebrow at Bella. "I have a feeling you guys will meet again."

Bella sighed. Alice had an uncanny ability for sensing things that were about to happen. She was incrediby intuitive and Bella knew better than to bet against her friend, and on this occasion, it scared the crap out of her.

_Yeah. I really am fucked._

**A/N **

**Not really happy with this chapter but I wanted to post something after the long delay. Let me know what you think? Next up we hear from Edward, which has been in my head for days. I will have to see how quickly I can get it typed on my phone. This chapter has taken me almost 2 hours! See you next time xx **


	13. Chapter 13

A/N

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. **

**Hola! I FINALLY have my laptop back! Squeeeeeeeee! Just got it back today so I have been eager to update. Updates will be much more regular now. However this story is developing in my head and the chapters may get longer.**

**Unbeta'd as usual :) **

**Short one here but there will be more to hear about Edward. See you on the other side.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Perplexed. Puzzled. _Bewildered._

These were just a few of the emotions that the beautiful girl with the sad brown eyes had ignited in Edward.

Perplexed, because never before had he met a girl who seemed shy and innocent, lacking confidence, yet sassy and snappy, and a freak between the sheets all rolled into one. She was an enigma, and by far the best lay he had ever had.

Puzzled, because never before after taking a girl home, had he woken up to an empty bed. He did the gentlemanly thing and made the girl coffee, held polite conversation, before giving her a ride home. They'd exchange numbers, and he would always call, but his intentions would always be clear from the start.

Edward _didn't _do relationships. Fucking, yes, he could do – and was damn good at. Drinks, dinner, sometimes a date to a formal occasion, he could do.

Casual. Light. _Fun. _

Sure, at thirty two he really ought to think about settling down. God knows Esme prattled on constantly about grandchildren. But Edward enjoyed his Bachelor lifestyle, and the thought of marriage and children made him break out in a cold sweat of panic.

Which was why he was bewildered to say the least, as to why he found himself outside Isabella Marie Swan's apartment building that Monday evening, clutching a 2009 bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape in one hand, and a bunch of pink tulips in the other.

* * *

**A/N **

**Review? pretty please? MWAH xx **


	14. Chapter 14

A/N

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. **

**Unbeta'd as usual**

* * *

**Chapter 14 **

Eggs. Chicken breasts. Cottage cheese.

Oatmeal. Low fat yoghurt. _Red wine. _

Checking off the items in her head, Bella wandered aimlessly toward the checkout line in the grocery store. In her hungover, post-coital confused state yesterday, she had neglected her Sunday grocery shopping, meaning she was doing it now on her way home from work.

This of course wreaked havoc with her usual Monday night routine.

_Enough. _

Bella had thought about Edward constantly since she'd left his bed, and quite frankly, she was beyond pissed. She had been distracted all day at work, and after her conversation with Alice that morning, Bella was positively exasperated.

Stupid beautiful boy, with his stupid beautiful smile and stupid sex hair, invading her mind and making her an agitated mess. She was part angry at him for invading her perfect routine, part angry at herself for allowing herself to become so distracted by a man, and the rest just plain horny.

She'd been uncomfortable in damp panties all day.

"I.D Miss?" The grocery clerk interrupted her, pulling her mind from the gutter. Bella rolled her eyes and rummaged in her purse for her drivers license. At 30, she was used to being asked for I.D. When she looked in the mirror every morning, she still saw the awkward, gangly teenage girl staring back at her.

"Miss? You're holding up the line." The cashier looked positively bored as Bella was becoming more and more frustrated.

"It's in here somewhere…" Bella trailed off, realising that no matter how much she rummaged, the drivers license was not in her purse. She was dumbfounded. She absolutely always had it on her.

"Miss, if you don't have I.D. I can't serve you the alcohol."

"Come on, I'm in here in all the time. I can tell you my date of birth. I always buy wine here!" Bella huffed.

"Sorry Miss, no I.D, no wine." The cashier raised one eyebrow in challenge to Bella, who relented as she handed over her debit card.

"Fine, take it out. Just the groceries please."

_How the fuck am I gonna sleep tonight?_

* * *

**A/N **

**What will happen when Bella gets home?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I do not own Twilight or any of its characters**

**Unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 15 **

_Stupid fucking cashier. _

As Bella pulled into the parking garage below her apartment building, she was still seething from her trip to the grocery store. She parked in her usual spot and turned off the ignition.

Leaning her head against the steering wheel and rubbing her temples, she took a deep breath, trying to calm the rage that was bubbling up inside her. She would call Alice and get her to bring some wine over. In the meantime, she would turn the apartment upside down looking for her missing drivers license.

Temporarily placated, Bella exited the car and retrieved the groceries from the trunk. The extra trip had cost her valuable running time, but she could still squeeze in a quick five miles if she got out now.

Her mind was still on the mystery of the missing drivers license as she travelled up in the elevator to her floor. As she exited the elevator, she felt a foreign tingling sensation running up the back of her neck. She suddenly felt very hot, and couldn't wait to get into her air-conditioned apartment.

As she rounded the corner toward her apartment, the sight before her gave her a moment of clarity that hit her like a tonne of bricks. She knew exactly where her missing drivers license was. She knew exactly why it wasn't in her purse where it usually was. And she knew exactly why Edward was currently standing outside her front door.

She had left her license at his place.

She stopped in her tracks, taking in the beautiful man before her. He was even more gorgeous in the sober light of day. Navy suit, dress shirt with no tie and collar open, and that adorably messy mass of bronze coloured hair. What made him even more attractive was the wine and flowers he carried with him. He flashed that beautiful smile at her, and her insides turned to mush.

"Hi B." Edward took a step towards her, holding out the flowers. "Beautiful flowers, for a beautiful lady."

Bella, rendered temporarily speechless, nodded dumbly and took the flowers from him. As their hands brushed she felt the tingle again. Her eyes snapped up to his.

His jade eyes, heavy with lust, bored deep into hers. She let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding and cleared her throat.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" She watched as he tucked the wine bottle under his arm and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out her drivers license.

"Well, you dropped this yesterday morning, so I figured you'd like it back. And I know how much you enjoyed the wine the other night, so I wanted to bring you one of my favourites to let you try." He smiled the dazzling smile again, and Bella could feel the blood rising to her cheeks as she blushed and looked away.

Edward took a step towards her. Bella retreated, moving backwards so that her back was against the door. The heat in the hallway was stifling. Wasn't the hallway normally air-conditioned too?

Edward leaned in closer, putting his free arm up against the wall, beside Bella's head. Their faces mere inches apart, she could feel his hot breath on her face.

"What is this, B? Tell me you feel it too. This energy, this magnetic force between us." Edward leaned in and nuzzled his nose across her cheekbone.

Bella could feel his hard length pressing into her stomach as she let out a shaky breath. She was speechless.

"Isabella. Let me in. I need to be inside you." His hand moved down from the wall and he traced one finger across her collarbone, moving down, lingering just inches from her cleavage. Her nipples hardened at his words, his touch.

"Edward…." She sighed, her mind screaming that everything about this was wrong, letting an almost stranger proposition her in the hallway, but her body screaming, begging, willing her to say yes.

"Isabella." Bella squeezed her thighs together at the tone of authority in his voice. She was so wet, so ready for him and hearing him say her name like that turned her on even more.

"Isabella. Open the door right now before I fuck you right here in this hallway. I'll make you scream so loud all your neighbours will know my name."

_Holy fucking shit._

* * *

**A/N **

**Some hotness about to happen right now ;-) **

**In an earlier chapter authors note I welcomed any of you to follow me on twitter. I'm not sure if any of you did, but i think i rejected some follower requests. I am still getting to grips with the settings on twitter, but i think i thought, who are these random people, forgetting that i posted here inviting you to follow me. Apologies! You can follow me if you want, megan_timms. I generally tweet random crap, Robporn and updates for other fics I read. **

**Love hearing your reviews, thanks so much guys xxx **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. **

**Not Beta'd blah blah blah :) **

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Her thick chocolate hair piled up on top of her head in a neat bun, with a few messy strands falling down over her face.

A pen stuck through the middle of her bun, legs that went on forever, her tight ass squeezed into a black pencil skirt.

The top button undone on her thin cream silk blouse left little to the imagination. Edward knew she hadn't unbuttoned it on purpose.

Her deliciously milky white skin, beautifully decorated with the heat of her blush, highlighting her cheeks and spreading down into her neck and cleavage.

Edward hadn't planned on jumping Isabella. Before she'd arrived he'd been cool and calm, planning to charm in her into agreeing to go to dinner with him. He wanted to get to know this girl better. He wanted to know why she'd fled on Sunday morning.

He just wanted her.

The sight of her had made him immediately hard and it took all his restraint not to just jump her straight away without even a hello.

Hello was just about all he managed.

Hearing her whimper at his touch had made him desperate. He needed to be inside of her _now. _To kiss every inch of her delicious skin, teasing, stroking until she begged for release. To see her above him, below him, beside him, bent over the couch, on her knees before him.

_To consume her completely._

He buried his face in her neck, nipping, licking, sucking as he imagined all the different ways he would take her. She grappled in her purse for her keys and he heard the telltale jingling of the keys.

She pulled away and turned, fumbling with the lock in the key. Grocery bags had been discarded on the hall floor, flowers in a heap. Edward grabbed the items hastily as the door swung open and they both practically fell into the apartment.

Edward dropped the bags in the foyer of her apartment and had her pinned against the door with his mouth on hers before the door even closed.

* * *

**More later this evening ;-) **

**mwah xx **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**

**The usual I do not own Twilight blah blah**

**Not beta'd blah blah blah! **

**Guyyyyyyssss! You rock! After I posted the last chapter my email went crazy with new followers to this story! Thanks so much for putting this story on your alerts! **

**Now on with the show ;-)**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

His hands were everywhere. His fingers dug into her hips then slowly crept around to cup her ass. He squeezed hard, and she winced at the painful pleasure.

His lips fused with hers, desperate, hungry, needy as he devoured her with his mouth. He slid his tongue along her bottom lip, silently pleading for entry and when she allowed him access his tongue plunged deep into her mouth, circling, exploring, tasting every inch of her mouth.

His hands squeezed. _She whimpered._

Her nails scraped along his scalp as she clutched desperately at his hair, trying to bring him closer. _He grunted._

He ground his hips into her, letting her feel how much he wanted her. Her hands moved down to his collar and she pushed his jacket off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it as she fumbled clumsily with his shirt buttons.

Inch by inch she revealed the tantalizing, toned, tanned skin of his chest, her eyes wide with lust as she fully took in the beauty before her.

She took a deep breath and trailed her fingers over his collarbone, then down the middle of his chest, to his toned abs. She wanted to savour every moment of this, imprint him on her eyelids.

He was far more glorious than she had remembered from their first encounter.

He shuddered at her touch as her fingers trailed across his abs and to his hips, resting at the waistband of his pants. He let out a low, nervous chuckle.

"Ticklish?" She grinned at him, and he nodded, resting his forehead on hers.

He stared.

She stared.

The only sound that could be heard in the apartment was their heavy breathing as they fought to catch it.

After staring for what seemed like a lifetime, she leaned in to whisper into his ear.

"Bedroom" She moaned throatily, and he grunted, bending over, lifting her by her legs and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Show me the way, B."

* * *

**A/N**

**Reviews? **

**More tomorrow**

**follow me on twitter megan_timms**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight blah blah blah **

**Not beta'd blah blah blah **

**What started as a drabble fic is slowly developing into something more. As I get to know these characters a little more, and as the story develops in my head, the chapters **_**may**_** get longer. They may not though. There will be no set format. I am still developing my writing skills and this is all new to me. One chapter may be 200 words. One could be 1000. One could be 3000. I will have to see how it all plays out in my head. Thanks for sticking with me this far. **

**See you on the other side.**

* * *

**Chapter 18. **

One hand on her hip, digging in, squeezing, gripping on desperately as if he never wanted to let go.

The other hand palming her breast, then flicking, teasing her nipple, pinching, pulling, as she moaned her approval.

She was on all fours, head thrown back in ecstasy as he teased her slick opening with his cock; she could feel the warm wetness increasing between her thighs. He had teased her with his fingers, tongue, his cock for the last hour, bringing her to the precipice of her release and then leaving her hanging.

"Are you ready for me Isabella? I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you dirty girl. That was no naughty of you leaving me yesterday morning, I think you deserve a little punishment." He was feigning anger, dominance, but she could hear the playful tone in his voice. Craning her neck to look over her shoulder at him, she saw that his eyes were heavy with lust and desire, but he flashed her that beautiful half smirk and winked.

"This wont be gentle, Isabella." He grunted as he teased her clit with the head of his cock.

Bella was exasperated, frustrated, hungry for release.

"Just shut up and fuck me, Edward. _Now."_ She growled, as she pushed her ass back towards him.

Edward didn't need telling twice. Reaching over to the nightstand for a condom, he unwrapped it and sheathed himself. Gripping her hips, he lined his cock up with her slick warm entrance and slammed in hard. Simultaneous groans from them both echoed the sound of warm slick skin slapping together. He held still for a second to let her adjust to his size.

"Fuck, B, you feel…" Edward broke off as he slowly eased half way out and then bucked his hips hard, back in, filling her to the hilt. His thighs flush with hers, he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on the small of her back. "Hold on tight baby."

And it began in earnest. He slammed into her hard, fast, relentless as he fucked her harder than he had ever fucked anyone. He couldn't get enough of her, couldn't get close enough to her, he wanted to feel every inch of her warm, wet, tight pussy.

Bella came almost immediately, after what felt like seconds after he had filled her. She fisted the sheets as the waves of pleasure rolled over her body, she shuddered, she shivered, she screeched, enjoying the aftershocks as he continued to dominate her body.

Her orgasm spurred him on. He swivelled his hips and pulled on her hips, pulling her ass higher. His hand went to her neck and he pushed her head and shoulders down into the mattress, his cock hitting the sweet spot deep inside her from a new angle. She moaned, a deep, guttural sound and he almost lost it.

"Unf…B, fuck… Can you come again? Fuck, I need you to come again for me. Touch yourself baby." He whisperered breathlessly, as he pounded into her harder.

Bella complied immediately, two fingers searching for her clit, rubbing quick, feather-light circles around it as she felt the pleasure building again. Her second orgasm hit her hard and she squeezed her thighs together, gripping him tighter as her lips parted in a silent scream.

He felt her walls contracting around him as the pressure started to build in his stomach. His balls tightened and he was close, hanging on the edge. He gripped her hips tighter, digging in. He knew he would leave bruises, but fuck if this wasn't the best sex of his life, he couldn't find it in himself to care.

"Say my name, B, come on, fucking scream it!"

Before Bella could comprehend what was happening, the third wave hit her and she threw head back, pushing her ass closer to him, meeting him thrust for thrust.

"Oh fuck! Edward, oh my god, Yes! Fuck, yes!" she screamed as her third orgasm washed over her and she trembled. She felt him slam in harder than ever, one last time before he stilled. She could feel the heat of his cum even through the condom.

She was breathless, sweaty, drained as she flopped onto the bed. He groaned and collapsed on top of her, bearing down on her, burying his nose in her hair.

The only sound was their harsh, fast breathing as they lay there, spent, satisfied, and absolutely terrified of the emotions going through both their minds.

* * *

**A/N**

**runs and hides**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**

**I do not own Twilight **

**Unbeta'd blah blah blah**

**thanks notthatamanda for pimping my fic on twitter - kisses to you! Quietdrabble, i love our pm's, tweets and emails - thanks for encouraging me to expand this flashfic and your constant encouragement! mwah! xx **

**Thanks to you all of you who have reviewed! My email went crazy again today with new followers, so big hello to all my new readers, dont be shy now, hit that review button! **

* * *

**Chapter 19 **

Edward watched the soft rise and fall of Isabella's chest as she breathed evenly, sound asleep, eyelids twitching. She had dozed off in his arms and he had spent the last hour studying her.

He could tell by the way she sighed and whimpered in her sleep, the way her brow furrowed every few minutes that her sleep was disturbed, perhaps having some sort of unpleasant dream.

He frowned at the thought. After what they'd shared that evening, how could she be having bad dreams?

He wanted her to dream of _him. _

For the first time ever, Edward _craved_ a woman's attention. He was no stranger to the attentions of beautiful women, random hook-ups or a waitress slipping him her phone number with the bill in a restaurant.

He wasn't a manwhore – sure he enjoyed sex just as much as the next red-blooded male – but he was a gentleman, respected women, _always_ called afterwards.

His bachelor lifestyle suited him. His career in the music industry was well suited to picking up women, and as charming and lovely as they were, no one had quite held that 'spark' he was looking for.

_Until now. _

He didn't know what held such great appeal this beautiful girl.

Her sad brown eyes that lit up when she climaxed, momentarily letting down whatever guard she had up.

Her blush.

Her scent.

Her _taste. _

He wanted to get inside her head, figure her out, know her, _and own her. _

A shrill ringing pulled him from his musings. It was loud, intrusive, and he internally cursed the interruption.

Isabella gasped, and woke with a start, sitting upright in the bed, the sheet pooling at her waist. She appeared confused, taking in her surroundings as though she wasn't sure where she was.

Edward smirked at the view of her round, pert breasts, his cock immediately standing to attention, ready for round two.

_Game on. _

* * *

**A/N **

**So.. what do we think of Edward? Douchebag, manwhore player? Or, just an all round nice guy (who happens to be wonderful in the sack) who just hasn't found the right girl yet? What's his story? **

**Reviews please! Mwah xxx **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**I do not own a Beta.**

**Yes - 2 updates in one day! Phew – Chapter 20! When I started this I thought it would be short, quick, to the point and all wrapped up in 20 chapters – no chance! This is developing into more. Thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

**Chapter 20 **

"_Shit!" _Bella cursed herself, blinking the sleep out of her eyes as she realised where she was. She was grateful for the ringing phone interrupting her dream.

Her heart was beating fast, her breathing ragged as the images of her dream slowly faded from her mind.

Would she ever escape _him? _

Guilt and shame washed over her. Here she was, in bed with a man who she had known for less than two days, a man to who she had bared all, a man who, for some inexplicable reason, wanted her enough to track her down, return her drivers license and bring her flowers and wine.

And yet, after one of the most intense, thrilling, all-consuming sexual encounters of her life, she was dreaming about _him. _

_Pathetic. _

She shuddered, and took a deep breath, pulling the sheet up around her chest, covering up as she felt Edward's intense gaze in her peripheral vision. She heard her own voice playing back on the answering machine, followed by the click of the caller hanging up.

Edward's hand rested on the small of her back, light fingers travelling slowly up her spine, ruffling her hair and finally cupping the back of her neck. He squeezed lightly, rubbing, massaging, trying to ease out the tension that was rolling off her in waves.

"Bad dream?" he whispered, softly, treading carefully with his words. He didn't want to startle her anymore than she already was.

Bella stiffened. The tender touch, the concern in his voice.

Sweet. Loving. _Intimate_. She was vaguely aware of something similar on Saturday night, but the alcohol had let her barriers down. Now, sober, it petrified her.

_Too much. _

Edward detected the shift immediately. She was so obvious. Whatever wall she had up, he was determined to break it down.

She started to pull away, turning to move from the bed, before she felt a strong hand grip her wrist.

"Dammit, Isabella. Stop running."

"I…" Bella faltered, defeated. She was torn in two. That house of cards was dwindling, tumbling. Since Saturday night, it began to topple.

At first it was just the top layer. But now, slowly, one by one, more cards were coming down.

Each one hanging, just on the precipice.

Every word, every kiss, every touch from him threatening to push it over the edge.

_Why am I even fighting it? _

"Bella. Its just Bella." She said, a small, shy smile playing on her lips.

* * *

**A/N **

**don't be shy now, hit that review button! i have lots of new followers, i want to know your thoughts! Reviews equals quicker updates! **

**mwahxx **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble. **

**FFN playing silly beggars again so I didn't get any updates about reviews. I don't always get time to respond to reviews, between 3 jobs, a 3 year old and trying to write as well. But I appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to review, I have over 100 already! Awesome!**

* * *

**Chapter 21 **

Bella.

_Beautiful. _

Her name fitted her perfectly, but Edward suspected that she heard that line a lot, so he held back. He also wondered if she realized how absolutely stunningly beautiful she was.

_Probably not. _

"Bella. Perhaps we should start over. Since I already know your full name from your driver's license, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Edward Anthony Cullen." He beamed at her, holding out his hand for her to shake, and she just stared at it.

Bella was lost for words. She still couldn't fathom the idea of this hunk of a man in her bed. And coming all the way across town to bring her missing driver's licence?

The flowers.

The wine.

He sure was a smooth talker, a charmer. As if he needed it, his good looks alone being enough to make even Bella lose her wits and let her guard down. He was obviously well practiced, maybe even told little white lies from time to time to get what he wanted.

Wasn't that what they all did? That was what _he _did.

_Heard one lie, heard them all. _

But what harm could it do? Alice was always telling her she needed to loosen up, live a little. Maybe a no-strings attached, no feelings, no expectations hook up with this beautiful bachelor could be just what she needed.

This new-found confidence was strange to Bella, but she liked it. For the first time in three years, she felt _alive._

She thought of her routine, her schedule, and her self-imposed loneliness.

_Fuck it all. _

Bella grinned, grasping Edward's hand pulling him closer.

"Wine?" she asked, blushing at her own boldness.

Edward watched as the heat spread across her cheeks. It made him want to climb over on her and ravage her all over again. Her blush was definitely becoming something he loved about her.

_Wait. What?_

* * *

**a/n**

**Oohhh... **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

_Eat. Work. Have sex. Sleep. _

_Repeat. _

And so it went, for the days and weeks that followed. Bella had taken to rising an hour earlier in the mornings for her run, so that she could spend her evenings in bed with Edward.

After the first night he had shown up at her door, he had appeared every night that week at the same time. They seemed to have a sort of unspoken agreement. There were very few words, except for dirty words or sweet nothings whispered in the heat of passion.

No expectations, no dates, no declarations of feelings.

After the first week, his visits became less often, every other night or every third night, arranged with a simple few words via text message. He was insatiable, and from the moment he arrived shortly after work finished at six p.m. until she kicked him out close to eleven p.m. (another unspoken rule was that he didn't sleep over), he was relentless, as if it was his mission in life to give her as many orgasms as possible.

It had not escaped Bella's attention that she no longer needed her customary glass-and-a-half of red wine to help her drop off to sleep.

It also had not escaped her attention that she had not dreamt of _him _since the first night Edward had come to her house.

Of course Alice knew something was up. Bella didn't divulge the gory details, much to Alice's dismay, but told her about Edward turning up with flowers and wine, and her missing drivers licence.

"Oh my gosh, that is so romantic, Bella! This guy is a keeper!" Alice gushed over their morning coffee break in Starbucks. It was a month from their first morning coffee break in Starbucks, and it had become a twice-weekly occurrence. Alice loved this new Bella.

"Hardly, Alice. He's a nice guy, amazing in bed. But that's as far as it goes. We're both having fun. For all I know, I'm not the only girl he's sleeping with. We have an understanding. That's as far as things go."

"Yeah, Bella. Whatever." Alice replied, with one cocked eyebrow.

Bella sighed.

_I am so fucked._

* * *

**Yeah, Bella, WHATEVER! **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

"Alright, break for 15!" Edward yelled to the crew and band, as he pulled off his headphones and threw them haphazardly across the desk. Scrubbing his hands across his face, letting out an exasperated sigh, he closed his eyes and leaned back in the black leather chair.

It had been a long ass day and he was ready to leave. Moon Records was on a tight deadline, and they had a schedule to follow to get this album finished by the end of the month. It meant lots of overtime; starting earlier and finishing later; which meant that he didn't get to see Bella as much as he wanted to.

And he wanted to see her every minute, of every day.

His life had been turned upside down since Bella had literally stumbled into it a month ago. She was on his mind constantly, and the craving he had for her body was beyond anything he had ever experienced with a woman.

Edward knew without a doubt that Bella was special. His past trysts with women had never lasted as long as this. In the most polite way possible, he let a girl down gently once she showed signs of wanting to take things further than just fun, whilst secretly inside he'd be a mess, torn between petrified of commitment and sad that he still hadn't found what he was looking for.

He was a romantic at heart. All his adult life, he'd wanted to feel that spark, that connection, that feeling of being truly at one with another person.

He'd seen it in his own parents, Esme and Carlisle, and in his brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie. He longed for it, craved it, and until now, thought he was never going to have it.

_Until Bella. _

But he wasn't stupid. Whatever she was working through was going to take time. He was slowly chipping away at the armour she fervently fought to keep up, but there was a long way to go. Except for those first few nights, when she had allowed him snuggle, spoon, and whisper sweet words in her ear, she had shied away from any signs of affection and intimacy, keeping her face blank and emotionless when the time came to say goodnight.

His phone beeped with an incoming text, interrupting his musings.

_**Come over later? ;-) – B**_

He sighed. Bella already owned him, of that much he was sure. He knew he was in too deep now, and couldn't refuse her anything – despite the fact that he wanted more than she seemed to be willing to give.

_**I will be another few hours at the studio – call you when I'm done. Xo – E**_

For now, he would take what he could get.

* * *

**A/N **

**I hope this gives a little more insight into our lovely Edward? Hit that review button! MWAH XXXX **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**Are we getting impatient yet? all will be revealed, Bella is getting there! Not yet though. Soon, i promise! **

* * *

**Chapter 24**

"I'm headed out of town on Monday for work," Edward blurted out, panting, his forearm draped across his face, as he rolled off Bella and flopped across the bed.

"Oh. Cool." Bella's voice was monotone, no inflection, as she tried to feign nonchalance. "How long will you be gone?"

"A week. We have meetings with the big bosses in the L.A. Offices, press conferences for the album release; the usual shit."

"Hmm."

It was later that night after Edward had got off work. He'd arrived at her apartment later than usual at nine p.m. and they had just finished round two. Afterward, they lay there, in painful silence. It was these awkward moments that Edward hated, in the aftermath of their heated, frenzied fucking, when he didn't have a clue what to say to her.

This awkward silence, this fear of speaking his mind, bothered Edward.

In the past, he'd been nothing if not assertive.

_Fuck this. _

He pulled her closer, his fingers splaying across her hips, nose buried in her face. He breathed in her scent, before whispering in her ear.

"Did you eat yet?" he nibbled on her earlobe, and pulled her flush against him. She merely hummed in response and shook her head.

"I know a great little place that opens late," he said, as he worked his mouth from her earlobe, along her jawline and down to her neck. His hand travelled slowly up her hip, tickling her stomach, before landing on her right nipple, lightly brushing the already hardened flesh.

She moaned and arched her back, pressing her hips closer to his groin.

"They have the best pizza in Chicago," he whispered huskily, pinching harder on her nipple and suckling the supple, damp flesh of her neck with his teeth.

"Ah…Edward, fuck the pizza, just fuck me!" Bella groaned, the frustration evident in her voice.

Edward chuckled, moving away, slapping her ass as he climbed out of bed.

"Come on pretty girl, I want to eat pizza. Then I wanna eat you. Then I'm gonna fuck you really hard, somewhere public," he grinned wickedly as he pulled on his jeans.

He knew she wouldn't refuse. As much as she pushed him away emotionally, he knew she was just addicted to his body as he was to hers.

Bella rolled her eyes, but he could see the warmth in her eyes.

_Game on, Swan. _

Edward was determined to crack that armour, if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

**A/N Email went crazy again today with alerts for new followers *waves hello at the new people* i really appreciate each and every one of your reviews and get so excited every time my email goes off with a new alert! thank you all so much, i am overwhelmed by the response especially for my first fic! love you guys! next up - pizza date! xxx **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Edward gaped in amazement as Bella hungrily wolfed down her third huge slice of pepperoni pizza. A thin string of cheese slivered down her chin, and her tongue darted out to try and catch it.

Watching her eat was hot.

_Everything she did was hot. _

She devoured the pizza with such a determination; anyone would have thought she hadn't eaten since yesterday. When Edward said as much, she froze, wide-eyed, mouth open, pizza in mid air.

"B? When _did_ you last eat?"

She stared.

He stared.

He watched as the blush he normally found so sexy spread across her face. This time she wasn't blushing because she was aroused. She looked embarrassed, maybe even guilty.

She looked _ashamed. _

She huffed, dropping the pizza back on the plate and wiping her mouth with her napkin.

"God, I'm disgusting, such a pig, I'm so sorry –" she rambled, and trailed off, avoiding his eyes. She pushed her plate away and took a sip of her water, clearing her throat. The shift in her mood was clear to Edward, she was back to the shy, unsure girl she'd been the first night they met.

"I forgot to eat all day, I was so busy at work. I haven't had pizza in a long time either." She lowered her head, fidgeting with her napkin.

Edward rolled his eyes and pushed the plate back towards her. "You haven't eaten all day? That's crazy, B. Come on, finish up." He grinned and took another bite of his own pizza, moaning appreciatively.

"Best pizza ever, right?"

But Bella was done. "I have to use the bathroom, excuse me." She slid out of the booth and hurried away.

Edward shrugged as he watched her walk away.

_That is one fine ass._

* * *

**review? mwah x **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Her hands gripped the edge of the white porcelain sink, heart pounding in her chest as she tried to calm her ragged breathing.

She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth as she fought for control.

She hadn't felt this out of control since – well – _ever. _

Her will was crumbling with every word, every touch, and every kiss from Edward. Every minute more she spent with him made her feel free and more alive than she had felt – _ever. _

Her daily routine had already been interrupted, her own rules broken and if someone had told her six months ago she'd be eating _pizza_, out on a _kind-of date_ with a handsome man, the very thought would have made her nauseous.

She had embraced the change, because, for reasons that she just couldn't fathom, it just felt so _right. _

But Edward's words had hit her like a slap in the face. He wasn't to know how his words would affect her, and Bella knew that there was no malice behind them.

But they were all too familiar.

The snide tone of _his_ voice.

The judgements.

The contradictions.

The _control_.

"_When was the last time you ate?" _

"_Did you run today?"_

"_Do you need that third slice?"_

"_Are you going to the gym _again?"

"_Hey, lets get takeout tonight." _

"_God, all you do is eat, work, and go to the gym."_

Bella shook her head and took a deep breath. Lifting her head and gazing at herself in the mirror, she was resolute.

_You can do this. _

She held her head high as she exited the ladies bathroom and made her way back to the booth. Edward's mouth lifted into that beautiful dazzling smile as he saw her approach. It was clear to Bella that he was oblivious to her little episode.

"You all set pretty girl? I want ice cream."

Bella let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding, and smiled a genuine, warm smile at Edward. His proximity put her at ease instantly. She motioned to the waitress.

"Check please."

* * *

**a/n**

**thoughts?**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**FFN seems to be messing up formatting this evening - apologies for spaces between letters. I can't seem to fix it. Hope you can read it ok. Please let me know how this appears to you on your computer/tablet/phone. thanks guys:) **

* * *

**Chapter 27**

The smell of candyfloss, popping corn and hotdogs permeated the air as they wandered around Navy Pier later that evening . Bella had been quiet after leaving the pizzeria and Edward couldn't help but wonder what he had said or done wrong .

"So, Chunky Monkey or Phish Food?" Edward asked, as he pulled Bella towards the ice cream stand.

Bella's brow furrowed in confusion, "Huh ?"

"Ice cream? Chunky Monkey or Phish Food? Or do you prefer Karamel Sutra?" he asked with a wink. "Or we can get a mix?"

Edward was perusing the menu, while Bell a looked utterly perplexed. She had heard of Ben & Jerrys, but never tasted it .

_What strange names for ice cream flavour s. _

"Umm, I don't know. You pick, I'll just taste a little of yours. I've never tried any of these."

Edward scoffed. "Bullshit, pretty girl. How have you not tasted the complete and utter heaven of Phish Food? It's like sex on a spoon, an orgasm in your mouth. Well, almost," he quipped, sexy smirk plastered to his features.

"I'm serious! I haven't tried it. Although, if it's better than sex, then I can't wait." Bella replied, eyebrows raised in challenge.

Edward pulled her close, snaking his arms around her waist, holding on tight. One hand moved lower, squeezing her butt as he pressed his hips close to hers.

"Uh-uh, Isabella. I didn't say_ better_ than sex. I said it was _like _sex." His voice was low and husky as he lowered his mouth to hers, brushing her lips lightly, once, twice, three times. He smirked at her ragged breathing, her eyes heavy lidded with desire.

"Well, we'll see. Most of the sex I've had has just been…meh…_average_." Bella quirked a teasing eyebrow and smirked right back at him.

_Cocky Bastard._

Edward put one hand over his heart and frowned. "You wound me, Isabella," he said, feigning distress, before pinching her ass, hard, causing her to squeal and squirm away from him.

"Naughty girl, Isabella. You'll pay for that."

_Oh I hope so._

* * *

**What is your favourite Ben and Jerrys flavour? I love Phish Food. Why do you think Bella has never tried it? **

**She's going to talk soon. Just saying. Next few chapters are written. Hit that review button! **


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**Think the formatting thing has corrected itself now, but let me know if this is legible :) **

* * *

**Chapter 28 **

Bella let out a moan of pleasure as the cool chocolate and marshmallow confection slid down her throat.

"Mmm. God, where has this stuff been all my life?" she moaned again, a sound that went straight to Edward's cock. He all of a sudden had visions of eating the ice cream from her naked body.

_Another one to add to the list._

"Damn woman, what's with the sex noises? People are looking."

Bella giggled, glancing around. "People are not looking. Besides, you were the one who said you were gonna fuck me somewhere public!"

Edward grinned. "You keep up that moaning and I'll take you right here on this bench! Seriously, why have you never tried this stuff? Did you grow up under a rock?"

The smile dropped from Bella's face as she turned away from him. They were sitting at a park bench, overlooking Lake Michigan, the world around them buzzing by in a rush of bright lights, the smooth steady motion of the Ferris Wheel and the faint sound of the acoustic set being played at the nearby beer garden.

Edward feeding her ice cream, their playful banter flowing smoothly, the cheerful atmosphere surrounding them, Bella had felt a new, strange feeling she wasn't familiar with.

_Contentment._

_If just for a few seconds._

Edward studied her profile, a frown etched across his features as she transformed before his eyes. He couldn't figure this girl out. One minute she was sexy, flirty, playful, and almost affectionate. The next minute she'd be a shy, stuttering mess, blushing and avoiding eye contact, that sad, wistful look marring her beautiful face.

It was starting to piss him off.

"Where are you, B?"

She turned back to face him, biting her lip. He reached up, tracing his thumb over her lip, releasing it. "Where'd you go? Why do you that? You freeze up on me. It's like there are only certain things I'm allowed to say. One wrong word and you clam up."

"Edward… I… I'm sorry…" she trailed off, unable to find the right words.

"Bella, I don't wanna hear that you're sorry. I want to know why you do it. I want to know why you do _anything. _I want to know _you. _This isn't just fucking for me anymore Bella. And I think you know that it's not just that for you anymore either."

"Cocky motherfucker aren't you?" Bella huffed and rolled her eyes, her hackles rising. She hated that he was right.

"Isabella. Stop hiding from me."

"It's too much Edward. Too personal, too intimate."

Edward chuckled. "What, so having my cock so deep inside you that you see stars isn't too personal? Me fucking you seven ways from Sunday isn't too intimate?"

_Touche._

* * *

**Who wants Edward to eat ice cream off their naked body? YES PLEASE! **


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**At this stage I keep having to go back and check my chapter numbers! I'm estimating about 40-50 chapters for this one, so we are nearly there. You never know what could happen though. In keeping with the Drabble, here's a short one getting inside Bella's head a little more. The next few will be a bit longer as we get down to the nitty gritty. **

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Speaking her mind was something that had never come easily to Bella. She struggled with saying what she was really feeling and what she actually meant, something she had been doing from a young age.

In the time she had spent so far with Edward, she had noticed he was confident, assertive and not afraid to say what was really on his mind. He was sure of himself, albeit in a slightly cocky way, and it was endearing.

But Bella struggled to reconcile the difference in her head.

Was confident, cocky and assertive the same as controlling, bossy and manipulative?

Bella could see the warmth in Edward's eyes when he looked at her, the sincere tone in his voice when he spoke, and desperately hoped that it was genuine.

_Either that or he's a better liar that the rest of them._

There was still so much she didn't know about him, and up until now she'd been been fine with that, denying that there was anything more between them that casual sex.

But his sharp words cut through her façade like a knife through butter. She could deny it no longer; she was falling for Edward.

And if he was genuine, it _seemed_ like he felt something for her too.

But none of that mattered anyway.

Bella was sure that Edward would want nothing to do with her, in any way, shape or form once he knew the truth.

* * *

**So - has Bella done something to be less than proud of? I'd love to hear your theories. **

**More later **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 30 **

Edward chuckled. "What, so having my cock so deep inside you that you see stars isn't too personal? Me fucking you seven ways from Sunday isn't too intimate?"

Edward watched as the tell tale blush crept across Bella's cheeks. Even though she was mad at him, his words still had the desired affect.

_Damn, that is so hot. _

Edward was hard again.

_Disengage soldier. _

Bella cleared her throat, still avoiding his gaze. She shivered as the cool evening breeze picked up and Edward shrugged out of his jacket, wrapping around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she mumbled, looking up and meeting his eyes. The warmth she saw in his hypnotic emerald eyes made her heart ache. How could this beautiful, caring, kind man want her? What on earth could he see in her? She wasn't anything special.

Plain.

Mousy.

Too _ordinary._

"Come on, B. You gotta give me something here."

"I don't know where to start, Edward. What do you want to know?"

"Well you can start with how the hell you've never tried Ben and Jerry's before?"

Bella sighed, again struggle to find the words.

"I was never allowed ice cream before. I was never allowed Pizza. I was never allowed wine. Of course now and again I sneaked them in. But I always got caught. That's why I'm a little excessive with the wine now. And why I practically inhaled the pizza tonight."

Edward's brow furrowed in confusion. "I guess your parents were really strict huh? Were they really religious or something?"

Bella chuckled at his response. Alice had said the exact same thing when Bella had first told her.

"No Edward. My parents are dead."

* * *

**:(**

**dun dun dun! more later :) **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 31.**

_Jaw, meet floor_

Edward was speechless. The silence stretched out between them, lasting at least a minute. When it became clear to Bella that Edward had no response, she continued.

"I get it, you're sorry, I know. You don't have to say anything. And I'll get to that part. But I guess I should start at the beginning."

Edward nodded infinitesimally, encouraging her to carry on.

"My parents split up when I was five. My mom and I moved around a lot but eventually settled in California. She was happy, I guess. She married Phil when I was eight. For the most part I was a happy kid."

Edward sensed that this hadn't last long.

"I didn't notice at first, I guess he was pretty good at hiding it. Or she was, whatever. I started to notice the bruises all over her, the yelling late at night when they thought I was asleep."

Bella shuddered at the memory, but took a deep breath and continued.

"She died when I was 12. He beat her to death. I just sat there in the corner, my hands over my ears, crying my eyes out. There was so much blood…"

She trailed off, suddenly nauseous. Whilst she had resisted the desire to purge the pizza earlier in that evening, right now she was sure she would have no control over her stomach.

Bolting upright from the bench, she ran to the nearest trashcan and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

A warm hand rubbed soothing circles across her back, as she closed her eyes and felt immediately calmed by Edward's soothing presence.

She threw herself into his arms, leaning her head against his chest, as the tears began to flow freely.

"Help me forget, Edward," she sobbed.

"Come on, B, let's get you home."

* * *

**A/N**

**Tip of the iceberg, folks. **

**leave me some love. **

**More later tonight. **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**A few chapters back I said I guessed this would be wrapped in 40-50 chapters. Now, I don't think so! **

**Hello to all the new followers! Don't forget to hit that review button! **

* * *

**Chapter 32**

The trip home had been quiet, and when Edward pulled up to his now-regular spot in her parking garage, he noticed that Bella had fallen asleep.

His heart broke for this beautiful, sad girl. The pain in her eyes as she told him about her mother would haunt him, the wretched sound of her choked sobs would be forever etched in his memory.

The rage was bubbling up inside him; he was consumed with a feral desire to break every bone in her stepfather's body.

_Bastard._

Edward was seething as he climbed out of the car, pacing up and down the parking lot, trying to calm himself down.

He needed a drink.

Running his hands through his unruly hair, he took a deep, calming breath and opened the passenger door. Bella was still sound asleep as he lifted her out of the car and carried her, bridal style, up to her apartment.

She was a light little thing, and now he realised why. There was obviously an underlying issue with her weight, an eating disorder or similar.

Bella stirred in his arms as he reached the apartment door.

"Bella," he whispered softly in her ear. "I need your keys baby."

Her lips parted and breath hitched as she slowly opened her eyes, dazed, taking in her surroundings.

Edward observed her face as she lifted her head up, and blinked a few times.

_Damn, she's beautiful._

"Shit, I'm so sorry I fell asleep…" she trailed off, as she shrugged out of his arms and stood up on unsteady feet. His arms snaked around her waist to steady her as she fumbled in the pocket of her jeans for her keys.

As Bella opened the door and stepped inside, Edward remained, unsure if he was welcome, after upsetting her, pushing her to talk about something painful.

"Aren't you coming in?"

"Oh…well…I thought maybe…" He stuttered over his words, avoiding her eyes.

Bella held out her hand, a small, sad smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I need you tonight, Edward."

* * *

**i think he hearts her. what you think? REVIEW! **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

**WARNING – violence ahead.**

* * *

**Chapter 33**

_"Come here, bitch, I'm gonna fucking kill you!" The voice booms, reverberating throughout the house. A muffled sob, followed by grunts, and the sickening thud of wood crashing down on bone__._

_Bones shattering._

_Glass smashing._

_Bloodcurdling screams._

_And then nothing. The silence is deafening as she cowers in the corner, afraid that he will be able to hear her breathing, and discover her hiding here, discover that she witnessed everything. She came home early from Jessica's, through the back door like always. She has to get to the phone. She has to call the police, the ambulance._

_But she is frozen._

_"Mommy will be okay," she thinks. "She will be okay, we'll get to the hospital and this time I'll make her tell. I'll make her tell on him and we'll get out of here. We'll get away. He's a bad man. He'll go to jail. Mommy will be okay. She has to be."_

_She watches in horror as he drops to his knees before her mother's limp, lifeless body. He stares, mouth agape, as the sight before him shocks him out of his drunken stupor._

_"Renee." A single, choked word. _

_Then he appears calm, as he stands and walks over to the locked cabinet by the stairs, where he keeps his gun. _

_And then the only sound is her horrific screams as he puts a bullet in his head. _

"Bella! Bella!"

Bella woke with a start, her throat hoarse from the screams. Her heart was beating fast and sweat drenched her forehead.

_It was just a dream. _

As if reading her mind, Edward echoed her thoughts. "It was just a dream, Bella."

He pulled her into his arms and she went willingly.

"I'm sorry, Isabella, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over again, clinging on to her.

That was the first night she had dreamt of her mothers death in over ten years.

* * *

**This was a bitch to write. I hope I did it justice :( **

**Someone pointed out to me in a PM that I had some spelling mistakes. Again, I don't have a Beta for this, but also wanted to point out that I am in the UK and some spellings are different from the U.S. for example "favourite" and "Flavour" when we were talking about ice cream flavours (or favorite flavors as you U.S people say). So yeah, I wont apologise (apologize, realize, etc etc) for that, because, well, its just a drabble fic and just practice for me, the UK spelling comes automatically to me.. I have two other storylines planned for full length fics when i get done with this, and I have a beta lined up for that. So yeah, had to get that out of the way. **

**Lots of people selecting the story as a "favourite" so thanks for that, but dont forget to hit "follow" so that you get an email when a new chapter is updated! **

**Kisses xxx **


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble. **

**A few points to clarify: Bella is 30, as was revealed in an earlier chapter where she realised she had lost her licence and couldn't buy wine. She revealed a few chapters ago that her mum died when she was 12. **

**Also, Phil is not the **_**"him"**_** she refers to in her thoughts or whom she has previously dreamt about. **

**Like I said, tip of the iceberg. **

**See you on the other side.**

* * *

**Chapter 34**

Instead of the usual red wine, Bella went for the drinks cabinet where she kept the hard liquor. She kept a variety; vodka, tequila, scotch and a bottle of Baileys, in the event that she would be entertaining guests.

_Yeah. Like that ever happens. _

Downing a large measure of scotch, she slammed the tumbler down on the counter and poured another.

Edward hovered in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Bella. She had sobbed in his arms for half an hour, as he soothed her, stroked her hair and peppered feather light kisses all over her face. Her face was blotchy and red from crying, her eyes bloodshot and wide from the alcohol now hitting her system.

She'd told him of the dream, told him of how her stepfather was a violent drunk who had only revealed his true nature after Renee had married him. How Renee could never do anything right, how he would fly off the handle if dinner wasn't ready on time or if his shirts weren't ironed.

The yelling, the throwing of crockery, the beatings he cruelly rained upon her mother.

First with just his fists.

Then the leather belt.

_Then the baseball bat. _

"You want?" Bella turned to look at Edward, motioning to the now half empty bottle of Scotch, as she poured herself another large measure.

Edward shrugged. "Sure." He yawned as stepped into the kitchen, glancing at the clock.

Three a.m.

Their night hadn't turned out how he'd expected. He'd been determined to coax her out of her apartment, to have some fun, show her they could be good together outside the bedroom. They'd been having a good night.

_Until you pushed her too far, buddy._

Bella noticed his tired eyes, the way he tried to hide his yawn. She handed him his drink, looking him directly in the eye. She couldn't figure out the emotion she saw there.

"Look," she began, stepping closer to him where he leaned against the kitchen island. "Thanks for looking after me tonight and bringing me home. But you don't have to stay. I'm sure you're pretty freaked out after everything I've told you tonight. I um… I mean…I understand if you don't wanna see me anymore. I wouldn't wanna see me anymore either. Let's face it I'm a crazy bitch who screams in her sleep, doesn't eat enough and drinks too much…and that's only the half of it..."

Her rambling was cut off by Edwards's index finger to her lips, effectively shushing her tirade.

"Isabella, stop. It's okay." He stepped closer as his finger moved across her lips, tracing a line up her jaw, until his hand was on the back of her neck, fingers splayed through her hair. He set his glass on the counter top, and took her glass too.

"I don't want to be anywhere else right now," he said as he pulled her closer. The air was thick and heavy as he felt her hot breath fan across his face. The scent of her coconut shampoo, mixed with the heavy note of alcohol on her breath was intoxicating.

"I mean…you don't have to. Stay, that is. But I want you to," Bella whispered.

Edward didn't need any more confirmation as he closed the gap between them and crashed his lips to hers.

* * *

**a/n**

**lots of new followers, don't forget to hit that review button. next few chapters are written, more reviews will get it posted quicker :D **


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 35**

"Oh… God," Bella moaned, incoherent and breathless as Edward entered her agonisingly slowly. He settled, stilled as his head rested in the crook of her neck.

Sweet, chaste kisses and slow caresses, unhurried, lazy, languid, as he had worshipped every inch of her body.

Licking away her tears.

Kissing away her pain.

_Loving her._

His lips moved lightly up her neck, before settling on her mouth, soft at first, before deepening the kiss and plunging his tongue into her mouth, circling, exploring, tasting.

He began to thrust, slow and deep as he held the connection at their mouths. He laced his fingers through hers on both hands where they rested above her head on the pillow, wanting to be joined to her in every way possible.

She gripped his hands tighter, pulled her legs tighter around his waist as his thrusts became faster, deeper, harder.

"Help me forget, Edward," she whispered for the second time that night, as she pulled her mouth away from his to breathe. He complied, not letting his lips rest for a second, kissing all over her face, nipping her earlobe and sucking her neck.

And make her forget, he did. She realised now that every time she was with him, nothing else mattered. It was all sensation and feeling and lust, and her mind went totally blank, unable to focus on anything but the delicious new sexual awareness he brought her body.

She could feel the tension coiling in her stomach, the pressure building in her thighs as she gripped him tighter, as he thrust deeper.

"Come on, baby, let go for me. Let it all go." Edward's jaw was clenched, eyes wild with lust as he fought to hold off his own orgasm.

Bella whimpered as the pleasure erupted, her back arching and her body shaking and convulsing around him. Waves after wonderful wave hit her relentlessly as all the passion she felt for this wonderful man caused her to bit her tongue, stifling the words that she was so scared to utter.

He grunted, almost in relief as her felt her clench around him and his own orgasm followed hard and fast, before he stilled and rolled to the side, pulling her into his arms.

"That was…" he trailed off, his breathing ragged.

"Amazing…" she replied.

Bella was asleep within minutes, and Edward slowly shifted from under her, heading to the bathroom to clean up.

As he climbed back into bed, he took in her sleeping form, peaceful and beautiful.

There was no going back now.

"I love you," he whispered.

* * *

**a/n **

**All together now "AAWWWWWWW"**

**I think they deserved some fluff after the last few chapters, huh? But folks like i said, tip of the iceberg! Lots more to come, but i wont drag it out too much longer. Edward still has his trip away for a week for work, so lets see how these two lovebirds handle a week apart! little bit more angst to come but there will def be a HEA with this one. Next few chapters are done but im off to work now - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hit that review button! KISSES XXX **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 36**

Eat. Work. Sleep. _Repeat._

_How did it come to this?_

Bella pondered upon this as she lay awake the next morning, listening to Edward snoring.

_Nobody's perfect after all. _

Bella couldn't pinpoint an exact time that she had begun this dull routine, but it was becoming tiresome. It had become important to her to have some form of control over certain aspects of her life, control having been taken away from her in other areas.

It had become so important that it had become like an obsession, a compulsion, an all-consuming need to know exactly what she would be doing from one day to the next.

Now though, she was bored.

Bored of being bored.

Bored of being lonely.

Bored of being _ordinary._

That question that had been nagging a tiny part of her brain for weeks now, since she had first stepped out of her comfort zone and went home with Edward, was now consuming her whole thought process.

_Is this it? _

That morning in her office with Alice, she had shrugged it off and told herself to stop being silly. This _was _it, period.

Now though, since meeting Edward, since experiencing new heights of pleasure, passion, feeling cherished, adored, crushing like a school girl, laughing like she hadn't laughed in years, she was forced to acknowledge that; no, _this is not it._

_There's more. _

Edward stirred beside her, and she turned to face him, running her fingers through his bed hair. His lips twitched as she ran her fingers across his scalp, scratching lightly, to tease him out of his sleep.

"What do you look so happy about, pretty girl?" he mumbled groggily as one eye opened, then the other, before he broke into a huge yawn.

"You stayed."

* * *

**A/N**

**Aww, he stayed. He hearts her! She hearts him too but she's still afraid. All will be revealed soon. **

**Lots of new followers * waves hello * **

**Please please please hit that review button! Next few chapters are written, a review means a quicker update! **

**Also, if you checked the "favourite" box, you wont get an update on a new chapter. Also if you checked the "follow author" you will only get an update when I post a new story, not a new chapter to this story. So be sure to check the "follow story" to get updates in your inbox for this story. **

**KISSES XXX **


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 37**

"Of course I stayed, Bella. I told you there wasn't anywhere else I wanted to be."

Bella simply smiled, and burrowed her face into his chest, tangling her legs around his.

She had no idea how to do this.

They lay there, dozing, holding each other, kissing, touching.

Just _being. _

When Edward slipped out of bed to use the bathroom, Bella shamelessly ogled his ass as he walked away.

"See something you like?" he asked, throwing her that sexy smirk as he looked over his shoulder.

"Meh, s'ok…" she shrugged, and giggled as he pouted, before disappearing into the bathroom.

When he returned, Bella detected the minty toothpaste on his breath as he leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away.

"Did you use my toothbrush?" she asked, with raised eyebrows and her best _'what the heck?' _look.

"Um…Yeah?" Edward sensed that Bella was not thrilled about this.

The slap up the side of the head confirmed he was right.

"Eww! Edward! That's gross!"

Edward chuckled, and rolled his eyes. "Bella. I've had my cock in your mouth. You've swallowed my cum. Are you seriously complaining about me using your toothbrush?"

It was Bella's turn to pout, as she crossed her arms and pretended to huff. Edward snaked his hands around her hips, tickling her sides, her waist, pushing her down onto her back and hovering over her.

Bella's laughter became louder as Edward continued his tickling assault all over her body. She hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.

"You're beautiful Bella," Edward said, as his face became serious and her drew a finger across her cheekbone. "But you're absolutely exquisite when you laugh."

Bella blushed at Edward's beautiful words, not used to receiving such praise from men.

_Or from anyone. _

"Who did this to you, Bella? Who made you not want to laugh?" Edward whispered, his finger lowering its path from her face, down her neck and settling on her collarbone, moving with light strokes across her plush skin. Bella's breathing hitched at his sensual touch.

"Spend the day with me?" he asked, as his hand moved lower, teasing the skin around one nipple. "Let me make you laugh all day."

"Okay."

* * *

**A/N**

**Aww, morning after fun! **

**Just love these kids. **

**Leave me, and them, some love. Xxx **


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 38**

Edward Cullen was a clumsy klutz who snored, Bella had decided.

The too-beautiful-for-words, smooth talking, slightly cocky sex God who had seduced Bella within half an hour of meeting, had tripped over his own feet several times on their walk around Navy Pier last night, and had just bumped his head on the trunk lid of the car while closing it.

This amused Bella greatly, who laughed raucously at the sight of him stamping his feet and mumbling expletives at the car.

Having stopped at his apartment so that he could shower and change clothes, they were now on their way again. Edward had packed a picnic hamper, so Bella guessed they would be eating at some stage, which quickly put her on edge.

_Keep your cool, Bella. You can do this. _

Fortunately Edward's bump to the head and subsequent reaction quickly had her in fits of giggles, while he stumbled around trying to get his bearings. When she realised that he seemed to be in actual pain, her face became serious.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to drive?"

Edward looked at her as if she had just landed in a spaceship and had three heads.

"It's fine Bella. I'm glad to see I amused you. I _did_ say I would make you laugh all day," he deadpanned as he opened her passenger door, motioning for her to climb in.

"No one drives this baby but me, _baby_."

Bella shrugged and climbed into the plush leather seats of the Aston Martin.

"How does a producer at a small record company afford a car like this?" asked Bella as Edward climbed in the driver's side and started up the car.

Edward shrugged. "They don't. It was my grandfathers. He left it to me in his will."

Bella sensed Edward's clipped tone, and left the subject alone.

A/N

**Aww so Edward's a clumsy klutz. Bella is always the clumsy one, so I figured let's change it up for this one. And hmm what's the deal with Edwards grandfather?**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 39**

"After my mom died, I went to live with my dad, Charlie."

They lay on a blanket in a secluded spot under a tree in Lincoln Park, shaded from the mid afternoon sun; their stomachs full of red wine, grapes, and cheese and crackers.

Bella had indeed laughed all afternoon, at Edward's stupid jokes, dirty words and relentless tickling.

Now they lay, in comfortable contented silence, and Bella wanted to share more of herself with him.

"Bella, it's okay, you don't have to…" Edward felt guilty for pushing Bella the previous night, and whilst he loved comforting her, it hurt him too to see her in pain as she relived the memories that haunted her.

"It's okay, Edward. I want to." She linked her fingers through his and closed her eyes.

"My dad lived in Forks, Washington. Single man, cop, sucked at cooking; you know the type. I was pretty withdrawn after Mom died, and junk food was just there. Charlie's idea of breakfast was Pop Tarts and candy. We ate out in the diner most nights. I gained a lot of weight in a short space of time."

Edward squeezed her hand in response, and she continued.

"I didn't know how else to deal with it. After a while I went to therapy to deal with issues surrounding Mom's death, and that really helped. My therapist was great. But I was young, and no one seemed to think my weight gain was a big deal, so I didn't either. After a while, I wasn't comfort eating, I was just eating for the sake of eating."

"When I started high school I got teased a little, but nothing major. I got attention from boys, so I guess it didn't bother them. I wasn't a rake like the other girls in my class, but I wasn't huge either. Round, curvy I guess."

"That doesn't sound so bad, Bella. Guys like something to grab hold of," Edward said as he rolled on to his side, grabbing her hip, squeezing it as he pulled her close.

"Yeah I guess. And he did, at first. But then he changed." Bella replied. Her eyes were still closed.

"Who changed?"

She opened her eyes. "My first boyfriend, my first love. My ex-husband. Jacob Black."

* * *

**A/N**

**So, did anyone guess that Jacob was her ex? Sorry all you Jacob lovers out there. Stick with me though. All will be revealed soon. **

**Lots of new followers, please please please hit that review button! KISSES XXX **


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble.**

* * *

**Chapter 40 **

_Well, the bombs just keep on dropping. _

Edward had guessed that Bella had been struggling with something, had been hurt in the past, but he had no idea it was as bad as this.

Witnessing the death of her mother in such a brutal manner, and then marrying some douche bag who had obviously not appreciated her and had hurt her in some way, he was surprised she was even sitting here in front of him.

_I think I just fell in love with this woman a little more. _

Sure, she had some weird dreams, but who didn't? She was a little OCD sometimes, but who wasn't a little obsessive compulsive about some things? He almost had a panic attack if someone messed up the order of his CD collection.

_Yeah, lame. _

The beautiful sad girl lying beside him was stronger than she realised. To have been through something so traumatic, and yet still be here, standing, walking, talking, breathing was a miracle in itself. The fact that she had worked and studied hard to gain a prominent position in her chosen field was even better.

Yet she didn't see herself clearly at all. It was clear her self-esteem was low, made evident in her blush every time he paid her a compliment.

This fucking douchebag of an ex-husband must have been blind. Edward would love to hunt down this Justin and kick the shit out of him.

Or was it John? Jacob?

_Whatever. _

Edward tightened his grip on her hip and shimmied closer to her on the blanket, pulling her flush against him.

"You're fucking beautiful, Bella. You're gorgeous now, and you'd be beautiful no matter what size you were." Edward ground his hips into her, his erection straining through his jeans. She gasped at the sensation of his hardness pressed against her abdomen and he waggled his eyebrows.

"Do you feel what you do to me, Bella? I'm this hard for you, Bella. I've never been more attracted to someone than I am to you."

And then he proceeded to show her exactly the effect she had on him.

* * *

**A/N**

**That's it for tonight folks. More tomorrow ;-) Love to you all, thanks so much for the follows, favourites and reviews!**** don't be shy, hit that review button, whether you love it or hate it. MWAH XXXX **


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 41**

Bella's uncontrollable giggling echoed throughout the parking garage as Edward pulled her by the arm towards the elevator.

"Did we seriously just dry hump like teenagers under that tree?"

"You bet your fine ass we did, Swan," Edward replied as the elevator doors opened and he pulled her inside, swiftly pushing her up against the wall and trapping her there with his hands against the wall, either side of her head.

"Edward…" Bella sighed, breathing in the heady scent of his cologne, mixed with the warm intoxicating scent of the wine they'd consumed earlier. Her eyes had lost the sparkle they held just moments before.

"Isabella…" he echoed, staring straight into her rich brown eyes, challenging her. Her ability to switch moods faster than Sonic the Hedgehog on speed was frustrating to say the least, and for once he was determined to keep his insatiable desire for her body in check, until she got everything off her chest.

_Chest. Hehe. Then she can get her actual clothes off her chest._

"What are we doing, Edward? I don't know what this is, I don't know how to do any of this…"

"It's pretty simple, Bella. I like you. You like me. We're good together," he stated simply, as he leaned in close and pressed a light, chaste kiss to her lips. "Let's see where this goes. No pressure, no labels, let's just _be." _

Although fully dressed, Bella had never felt more naked and exposed. She averted her eyes, the intensity of his stare leaving her feeling very warm in all the right places. But it felt wrong.

She felt like a fraud, and he needed to know who she really was.

"Okay, Edward, I'm just not sure you'll feel the same once you know everything."

* * *

**A/N It's ALL coming out next 2 chapters. Update tomorrow x **


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 42**

"Jacob was just always there, you know? His mom died when he was nine. Breast cancer. Not as brutal as my mom's death - but we bonded over it."

Bella stared at the flowers on the coffee table as she spoke.

"We hung out together all the time, him tinkering at some old engine in the garage, me with my nose stuck in a book. It was easy, comfortable. Safe."

Edward's gazed was fixed intently on her, he wanted to know so many things, but he didn't interrupt her.

"We kind of just fell into a dating relationship, it just seemed like the natural next step. He took me to prom, showered me with gifts and affection. He was so sweet and attentive."

"I still struggled with my weight, but it never seemed to bother him. He would grumble sometimes that I spent too much time at the gym, instead of with him, but aside from that he was indifferent to what I ate, what I wore, how I looked."

"I went to U-Dub for school – he would visit every other weekend and I would go home on the other weekends. We were happy, I loved him."

Bella watched Edward as his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed at these words. He looked – almost – jealous?

"He was bigger every time I saw him. With me gone at school he started working out to fill his free time. He became pretty obsessed with working out, but I liked his new shape."

Edward rolled his eyes, imagining a muscle bound beef head, probably popping steroids.

"He proposed to me the night I graduated college. I was happy, we were in love, he was my best friend. Again, it seemed like the natural next step. I said yes."

Edward stiffened. Listening to her talk about the guy she'd been with before him, the guy she'd lost her virginity to, the guy who in the end up had hurt her and made her the shy, timid, unsure woman before him, made him see red.

He got up from the couch and stalked to the kitchen.

"I need a drink," he said.

* * *

**a/n **

**Ooh our Edward is getting a little possessive! more to come in a wee while - i am on a major spring cleaning mission in my house and i am determined to get it all done today - taking little sneaky breaks every so often to post on here! mwahxx **


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 43**

He paced. He sighed. _He seethed_.

Gulping down the sharp amber liquid, he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Inhale, exhale. _

_Inhale, exhale. _

He needed to calm the fuck down. Bella's words had been like a red flag to a raging bull and he had to leave the room before he said something he would regret.

"Edward?" Bella followed him into the kitchen. She served herself a drink and eyed him warily. "Are you okay?"

Edward ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He pulled her into his arms, wrapping his hands around her waist and burying his nose in her hair. Her scent immediately calmed him and he took a moment to savour it.

_Mine. _

He didn't know what they were doing. Although he'd acted cool and nonchalant earlier when she'd asked him exactly that in the elevator, inside he was petrified. He was falling hard and fast for this girl and he didn't know how to deal with the overwhelming emotions that went with it. The raging jealousy and possessiveness he felt hearing her talk about loving another man only confirmed what he already knew, what he had already told her while she was sleeping the previous night.

_I am crazy about this girl._

"Bella, I…" he stuttered, unafraid to say what he really felt. She'd been through a serious shit storm in life and she was fragile, vulnerable. He'd already seen first hand how certain things set her off in a funk and the last thing he wanted was to scare her off with a declaration of his true feelings.

He shrugged, and kissed her forehead. "I'm fine Bella. I just needed a drink, come on."

He pulled her by the hand and led her back to the couch, pulling her down into his lap and pulling the fluffy blanket around them both. They watched out the window as the early evening sky faded to twilight and he sighed contentedly at the feeling of holding her in his arms.

_Mine._

* * *

**Awwww possessive jealous Edward! We love him! xx **


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 44**

"When I graduated, I started an internship at a small law firm in Port Angeles while I was studying for my LSAT. It's closer to Forks so I commuted every day. We got married that fall, on the Quiluete reservation where Jacob's family are from. We lived with Charlie at first, while we saved money."

"I was working so much and studying too, I found myself eating on the go and creeping into my old habits again. The weight piled on. By this time Jacob was obsessed with working out. He was shredded, even talked about doing a bodybuilding competition."

Edward snorted, and chuckled humourlessly.

_Yep, definitely on steroids._

"These guys he hung out with at the gym were all pretty built. They were from the reservation too. They all had these stunning, tall, slim girlfriends. We hung out with them from time to time. Jacob would start making little snide comments about my weight gain, about what I ate. When I did get time to go to the gym he complained because I wasn't at home with him. It was like I couldn't win."

"I moseyed on. I continued my internship while I went back to law school. Life was pretty crazy. Jacob changed more every day; he became vain, shallow, and materialistic. He compared me to his friends' girlfriends, asking why couldn't I be more like them. He'd demand to know what I'd eaten that day, or if I had been to the gym. He was a completely different person. I didn't even know him anymore."

Bella's voice trembled and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Then all of a sudden he was back to his old self, the boy I loved, my best friend. Charming, sweet, caring. Now that I look back, he was _too_ attentive. But I didn't see it at the time. I graduated law school and got a full time position at the firm where I did my internship. Life was pretty good. I was happy again. Sure I missed my mom every day, but I had Jacob, Charlie, a great job, we got a new house, I had some good friends. Jacob said we were only missing one thing."

"What was it?" Edward asked, already know where she was heading with this.

"A baby."

* * *

**a/n **

**the plot thickens! the rest is coming soon i promise! it's hard to fit it all in with drabble chapters. And I'm sorry to leave it there but there wont be an update now until Monday. I am working all weekend and have an engagement party to attend as well! Feel free to stamp your feet, I want to stamp mine too! see you all soon xxx **


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

**Sorry about the delay you guys. Had a crazy few days. But to make up for it here's a longer one.**

* * *

**Chapter 45**

Edward fought hard to keep his expression neutral and his breathing even, whilst a million thoughts raced through his muddled mind.

He recalled the faint silvery lines, on her stomach, which he would trace with his fingers tips in their more tender, intimate moments.

Having noticed long ago that she was obsessive about running, and that her refrigerator was only stocked with health foods, he had already surmised that she was over conscientious about being fit and healthy.

Her revelations about her mother's death, and consequent comfort eating, yo-yo dieting, confirmed that it was much more than taking good care of her health.

Every part of her was beautiful, even the lines on her stomach, which until now he had put down weight loss and gain, loss and gain over the years.

But were they the result of a pregnancy?

A pregnancy that had ended tragically?

"Did you…are you…I mean…" he mumbled, searching for the right words, desperate to not upset her further.

Bella, who had been nervously fidgeting with the tassles on the blanket, shifted and sat up in the couch to face him, shaking her head quickly.

"At first I didn't agree, I was focused on my career and wanted to wait. I took a few months to think it over. In the mean time, Jacob was attentive, encouraging, didn't put too much pressure on me. He was the old Jacob again. But it wasn't something we had talked about seriously about before we'd got married – we probably should have. I was still reluctant, but after a while I figured we could try.

"We tried, for over a year, we tried. It didn't happen. The more it didn't happen, the more I wanted it to happen. I was more obsessive than ever about eating well, about working out, they say you're more likely to conceive if you're in good health and at a good weight.

"But work was stressing me out. I worked a lot of overtime, taking on a bigger caseload. Figured I could save the extra money for when I had to take maternity leave.

"But with the added stress of work, and the extra pressure I was putting my body under, Jacob started to say it was my fault we couldn't get pregnant. He started changing, slowly; day by day he started snapping at me again, asking me what I'd ate, had I worked out, why did I have to work so much, saying I was getting too skinny, saying I was underweight and that's why I couldn't conceive.

"Like I said, I couldn't win. I was damned if I did, I was damned if I didn't.

"So I chilled out. I ran less. I ate more. It worked. The weight went back on slowly. I figured it would happen soon.

"But Jacob was different. He kept saying he still wanted a baby. We still tried, all the time. But he wasn't there, you know? His body was there, but his mind and his heart was somewhere else. I couldn't see it then, but I see it now. We had already grown apart by that stage.

"Valentines Day came, and I told Jacob I had to work late. But I'd planned a surprise for him. Bought new underwear, all the ingredients for his favourite meal. Figured I'd make it romantic you know? The way he used to do for me when we were first together. I wanted to get the spark back, I guess.

"I raced home from work early that day to prepare dinner, knowing he'd still be at work.

Edward noticed that Bella's face had been a blank, emotionless mask the whole time. Now her voice was shaky and the tears were falling freely down her red face.

"I still feel it sometimes. The confusion as I heard the noises coming from the bedroom. The way my heart dropped to my stomach as I opened the bedroom door. The way my knees felt as though they would buckle underneath me. Then the rage, the screaming, the crying." Bella's voice cracked, and her eyes narrowed as the emotions were written so clearly across her face.

"And the smug look on her face as I walked in on her fucking my husband."

* * *

**A/N**

**:-0**

**Who do you think it was?**

**More tomorrow - I nearly didnt get this posted tonight, I had to sit for like 20 minutes and keep refreshing the page as it kept saying server down! **


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

**I never really got why some authors write song lyrics at the start of their chapters? Is it that particular songs inspire certain plotlines/themes? Particular lines from songs are the exact words you want the character to say/feel? If so, then here's some lyrics for this chapter.**

_"Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not_  
_Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught_  
_But you put on quite a show_  
_Really had me going_  
_But now it's time to go_  
_Curtain's finally closing_  
_That was quite a show_  
_Very entertaining_  
_But it's over now (but it's over now)_  
_Go on and take a bow"_

* * *

**Chapter 46**

Bella felt the all-familiar rage boiling up her stomach as she spilled her darkest secrets to Edward. She recalled the way she had stood, frozen to the spot, trembling, the bile rising in her throat and threatening to erupt as she had discovered Jacob and Leah; one of the trainers from the gym; her friend, in bed together.

The lovers' embrace, the look in his eyes toward Leah, for that split second before he realised he had been caught. The way he looked at Leah was the way he _used_ to look at Bella. A look of awe, like couldn't believe she was real, a look of reverence, almost worshipful. The desperate pleading in his eyes as he clung to her skin like he was afraid she would disappear.

A look he had not given Bella for a _long_ time.

In that moment she had known. Her and Jacob weren't right. They hadn't been for a long time, if ever. Despite the clarity that had hit her in that moment, she couldn't help her reaction to the betrayal.

She told Edward how she had picked up a picture frame, holding their wedding photograph, which had been conveniently located on top of the dresser right by their bedroom door. She had hurled it across the room where it smashed against the wall, right by the headboard, spraying millions of tiny pieces and large shards of glass all over the floor and pillows.

She described how Leah had screeched and started yelling, jumping up from her straddled position on top of Jacob, and began scampering around the room, avoiding the glass, hurriedly gathering her clothes.

_As if modesty would help her now._

Bella had tuned her out, focusing on Jacob, who sat there on the bed, looking anywhere but Bella's eyes.

"I…Bella…I…" he had stuttered, pulling a sheet over his nakedness. His face was conflicted, confused, full of shame and guilt, but something else was there – a sadness, almost, resignation?

Bella swallowed a large gulp of scotch from the glass and screwed up her eyes as the sharp sting of the liquid hit the back of her throat. She had lost count of the number of shots she'd had that evening. She felt a hand on hers, and Edward took the glass from her and set it on the coffee table.

She felt the familiar heady numbness wash over her as the alcohol penetrated her system.

"I drink to forget. I drink because it numbs the pain of that night. Helps me forget Leah's harsh words."

Edward looked confused. "Leah's words?"

"She said if I'd been a better wife, he wouldn't have strayed. If I didn't work so much, gave my husband some attention, if I could give him a baby, if I wasn't such a 'fat cow', Jacob wouldn't have to look elsewhere."

Edward flinched, as if the words had been spoken directly to him.

"Jacob didn't even disagree. He just sat there, shrugged, as if she was saying everything he didn't have the balls to say."

Bella poured another scotch and knocked it back quickly. She began to pour another when Edward snatched the bottle away, standing from the couch and heading into the kitchen.

Bella scoffed, the alcohol making her bold. She followed him into the kitchen, watching in shock as he poured the remains of the bottle down the sink. He moved to the liquor cabinet, opening the vodka bottle, doing the same.

Then the Baileys.

Then the Tequila.

Then the red wine.

The alcohol, combined with the overwhelming emotions of reliving the painful memories, made something snap inside her, and the harsh, ugly words came tumbling out before she even had time to register them.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she screeched, finally reacting, moving from her frozen spot in the door way and stalking towards him. She tried to grab the last red wine bottle from his hands before it was gone, but he was too strong.

"What gives you the right to come into MY home and do that? You think just because we fucked, just because I told you some things, you think you have some kind of claim over me? You think you can tell me what to do? _You're just like Jacob_!" she was seething now, jabbing a finger at his chest as she backed him right up to the edge of the counter.

His grip on the wine bottle didn't falter as he turned from her and poured the wine down the sink. Bella whimpered as she watched the red liquid drain away and the bottle drop into the sink with a light clink along with the other bottles.

The silence was deafening. Neither one spoke, and the only sounds were the ticking of the kitchen clock and the hum of the refrigerator.

Even though Bella's words had stung, Edward chose not to bite, and when he spoke, his voice was calm, placid, void of any emotion.

"You need help, Isabella. Professional help, you can't keep living like this."

Bella's shoulders sagged in defeat. "I know," she said in a small voice, no more than a whisper.

"Carlisle, my father, he has contacts. He can recommend someone," he said, as he tentatively reached out a hand, linking his fingers with hers.

"Okay." She spoke a little louder this time, clearing her throat and looking up to meet his eyes. "I was fine, you know? I distracted myself. I worked hard. I partied with Alice. I closed myself off. I was fine like this. Until _you_ came along."

Edward flinched at her words, and pulled his hand away. But she reached out, grabbing his elbow and pulling him back.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad I met you. But I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel for you. I'm scared of getting burned again. I'm scared to love again. Everything I love gets ruined. But I'm also scared that if I push you away, I'll never feel this way again…" she trailed off; the boldness she felt just a few minutes ago fading away, replaced with fear and worry; she was shocked at her declaration.

Edward was silent as he pulled her into his embrace.

He should have seen the signs sooner, but he was too busy lusting after her, thinking about her body, the way he felt when they were together.

She may not be an alcoholic, _yet, _but she was far too dependent.

He'd already watched someone he cared about self-destruct and waste away because of alcohol, and he'd be damned if he let it happen to her.

* * *

**A/N**

**:-0 **

**So, big chapter there, didn't want to split that one up as it just seemed flow when I was writing it, and I couldn't find a suitable place to break it. I had said a while back that this was changing and developing and I maybe wouldn't always follow the "drabble" theme, there are over 1000 words in this chapter. I wont say that will be the case for the next one, it could be 200 or 2000. Who knows. **

**Did any of you think it would be Leah? She's not significant, we wont go into much detail on her, but I will explain more later. **

**What do you think of Edward's assessment? Is Bella too dependent? Is he right to be worried? And who has he watched be destroyed before by alcoholism? We haven't really heard any of his story yet, but we will soon. **

**We also haven't heard how Charlie died yet either, but we will get to that soon too. **

**Review! Mwah xx**

**More later, or tomorrow ;-) I'm off for a bath! xxx **


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

_"Someone once told me that you have to choose_

_What you win or lose, you can't have everything_

_Don't you take chances, you might feel the pain_

_Don't you love in vain 'cause love won't set you free_

_I could stand by the side and watch this life pass me by_

_So unhappy, but safe as could be._

_So what if it hurts me? So what if I break down?_

_So what if this world just throws me off the edge, My feet run out of ground?  
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound_

_Don't care about all the pain in front of me_

_'Cause I'm just trying to be happy, _

_Holding on tightly, just can't let it go_

_Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear, oh_

_But all these days, they feel like they're the same_

_Just different faces, different names, get me out of here_

_But I can't stand by your side, oh no, And watch this life pass me by, pass me by"_

* * *

**Chapter 47**

A dry throat, tongue like sandpaper and an acute pain in her lower abdomen roused Bella from her deep slumber.

She felt stifled, sticky, a warm body spooning her, hot breath fanning across her face.

Bella shifted, and Edward's grip tightened on her, as he mumbled incoherently in his sleep.

Slipping out of the bed to use the bathroom, Bella staggered blindly through the dark room. Her memory was hazy and her head pounded, the after effects of her binge.

Since Edward had come into her life she had drank much less that what was normal for her. He was a different kind of distraction, and their bedroom aerobics had meant she had slept more soundly most nights; she no longer needed wine to help her drop off to sleep.

After relieving herself, she took a moment to study herself in the mirror. Her face was a little rounder, fuller, having gained a few pounds in the last six weeks since meeting Edward. She had never been an early riser, and her initial attempt to wake earlier to run in the mornings instead of the evenings, had only lasted a week.

The extra Starbucks trips with Alice, where they both drank a full fat latte and shared a pastry or a muffin.

Working through her lunch break, grabbing a carb heavy snack of pasta salad or a sandwich from the deli on the corner.

The pizza, the Ben and Jerry's; the cheese and crackers.

It occurred to Bella that she hadn't noticed the weight gain until now. She hadn't noticed that her diet wasn't as clean as it normally was. Apart from her freak out over the pizza, which had been triggered by Edward's words, it had completely escaped her attention that she hadn't felt guilty about eating a little more, running a little less.

She had actually _enjoyed_ it.

This was new.

In the past, she'd be conscious of every morsel that went into her mouth. Whether good or bad, she would obsess over calories, portion sizes, carb and protein ratios. Bulimia had never been an ongoing issue; she could count on one hand the amount of times she had made herself sick after a binge. Instead, she exercised like crazy to burn off the excess calories.

As if _that_ was more acceptable.

What was Edward doing to her? With Jacob, the lights were always off in bed, and she'd be unwilling to try certain positions, conscious he'd be put off by her body in an unflattering light.

With Edward, anything went.

Apart from Alice, she'd never divulged such personal information to anyone else. And even with Alice, she hadn't went into half as much detail. Alice knew of Jacob's cheating, but not much else, and didn't know the extent of her issues with food, her weight, nor the details of her parents' deaths.

With Edward, her verbal filter had been decimated.

But he was right. She needed help. As angry as she'd been at him pouring all her alcohol down the drain, she knew it was what she needed.

She had used alcohol as a crutch, a distraction, and a painkiller. Whilst she drank during the week to help her sleep, she didn't get _drunk_ on weeknights, and was always sober for work. She didn't drink during work hours. Running ensured she sweat the toxins out.

And whilst she had drunk less since Edward had come into her life, this weekend proved that she was still using it as a crutch. Talking about her past had prompted a binge unlike anything she had indulged in for almost three years.

_Since Charlie died. _

Edward's insinuation that she was an alcoholic scared her. Phil had been a raging alcoholic. Thinking back over the few years before Renee died, Bella couldn't recall seeing Phil sober, _ever. _

She didn't want to be _that_ person.

She didn't want to be _this person_ she was anymore.

She didn't want to obsess over calories, running, carbs, fats.

She didn't want to push people away and hide her emotions anymore.

She didn't want to push _Edward _away anymore, or hide how she felt for _him. _

It was time to make a change.

* * *

**A/N**

**Middle of the night bathroom revelations! Is Bella "in denial" about her dependence on alcohol? Is she realising, before it goes too far? **

**Interesting. Leave me some love. More tomorrow xxx **(or maybe later, I really am going for a bath now lol)


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble, all mistakes are mine.**

**You guys! Blown away by the reviews, tweets and PMs about this little fic. Honestly for my first one I am flattered by the response. over 300 reviews! Squee! Didn't ever see this drabble going as far as almost 50 chapters, and I'm not done yet. Hi to all the new followers! xxx **

* * *

**Chapter 48**

Bella traced her finger lightly over the black and red ink that stretched across Edward's arm.

An intricate design that started over his left pectoral muscle, covering the top of his shoulder and half way down his bicep, it consisted of a random collection of stars, swords and a fire-breathing dragon, woven into each other, with what appeared to be random letters in a fine calligraphy font, dancing around the edges. Fire breathed from the dragon's mouth, the smoke weaving through the stars and around the swords. Maybe the letters were initials. The lines were clean and delicate, the work of an extremely talented artist.

She had never noticed the detail before, and she was intrigued as to what the design stood for.

After Bella's late trip to the bathroom, she'd returned to bed and tossed and turned all night, chasing sleep, but it always escaping her.

The clock read seven a.m and she lay there, still, quiet, giggling inwardly as she listened to Edward snore.

_I could get used to this. _

Waking up beside him for the second morning in a row, it occurred to Bella how _right_ this felt. She had never let him stay over before this weekend, but now, she couldn't imagine why not.

But she was prepared for the worst. After her confessions about her past, and her harsh words to him the previous night, she wouldn't be surprised if he'd only stayed out of obligation, to make sure she didn't suffocate on her own vomit or something.

She knew that if he left, if he told her he wanted nothing more to do with her, that she'd told him too much, that it would be too easy for her to slip back into her old habits and distractions.

But it was time to change.

She couldn't understand why he was still here, but for now, she would take what she could get.

He was spread out across the bed, like a starfish, and she nuzzled closer to him, burrowing deeper under the blanket and snaking her arms around his waist, tangling her legs with his.

He shifted, pulling her closer, and mumbled into her hair.

"Mmm… what time is it?"

"Just after seven. It's early. Go back to sleep…" Bella stopped herself, realising that he may want to leave as soon as he realised where he was.

"Mmm…" he inhaled deeply, "I love waking up beside you."

Bella looked up at him, startled by his words, expecting to find him still half asleep, perhaps sleep talking. But his eyes were wide open; staring at her intently. The expression on her face must have given away what she was thinking because Edward spoke up.

"Stop Bella. Whatever you're thinking. Whatever you're worrying about, doubting, just stop. I'm here aren't I?" He leaned up on one elbow and blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before cupping her cheek and kissing her sweetly on the lips.

"Mmm…" Bella sighed as he deepened the kiss, pulling her on top of him so that she straddled him.

As his hands wandered all over her goose-bumped flesh, tracing her hips, tickling her ribcage and rolling her pert nipples between his thumb and forefinger, she lost herself in sensation, and all questions she had about the ink-embedded initials on his skin were promptly forgotten about.

* * *

**A/N**

**Thoughts? The mystery of Edward will unravel itself soon. More Sunday night, UK time. **


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 49 **

Bella woke, hours later, to the sound of water running and the smell of bacon. A small smile formed on her lips as she jumped out of bed, pulled on sweatpants and Edward's t-shirt, and made her way to the kitchen.

Her breath hitched at the sight before her. Standing over the stove, wearing nothing but his faded, ripped denims, spatula in hand, was Edward, whistling away to himself as the bacon popped and sizzled in the pan.

She watched, dumbstruck as the muscles of his taut, lean torso flexed and stretched as he reached to the overhead cabinet for plates. He seemed to bob his head in time to some invisible beat; perhaps a song that was stuck in his head, as he turned to set the table.

When he noticed Bella standing in the doorway, he smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"Breakfast," he said, setting the plates down and sweeping his hands through the air, motioning to the table. She smiled as she walked towards the kitchen table and sat down.

She watched as Edward loaded the table with plates of bacon, eggs, pancakes, fruit and a pot of coffee. She was a little confused.

"Where'd you get all this?" she asked, knowing full well that she didn't keep bacon or the ingredients for pancakes in the house.

"I ran out to the store. I couldn't get back to sleep earlier," he shrugged, as he sat down in the chair across from her and filling his plate with a mountain of food.

"Huh."

Bella reached out to start loading up her plate, and paused, hand mid air, studying Edward.

"Are you gonna eat, or just watch me eat? You've been staring at me for like, thirty seconds, Bella."

Bella blinked, once, twice, three times.

"You cooked me breakfast." It wasn't a question.

"Well, brunch, I guess, it's almost midday," he said between chewing, shovelling the last forkful into his mouth before going for seconds.

"Seriously, B. You gonna eat? Because if you don't eat there wont be any left. We skipped dinner last night, I'm starving."

She nodded, and began filling her plate: eggs, fruit, and just one pancake.

Bella hadn't expected Edward to stay, never mind make her breakfast, brunch, whatever. He looked so at home in her kitchen, cooking over her stove in all his shirtless glory, sitting at her table eating, looking completely at ease and comfortable.

As if he had always been there.

As if he belonged there.

Bella felt a strange pull in her chest, her heart feeling suddenly so full that it may burst at any second like a balloon being slowly over-inflated.

_We skipped dinner last night._

Just like that. Nonchalant. Rolled off his tongue; most normal thing in the world.

As if Bella hadn't spilled her guts and been a drunken mess the previous night. As if she hadn't screamed at him in a fit of rage when he pulled that stunt with her liquor bottles. As if she hadn't passed out in his arms, either from the alcohol or from sheer emotional exhaustion, and he'd had to carry her to bed.

As if they were just a normal couple, eating Sunday brunch.

Bella couldn't fathom why he was still here after everything she'd told him, and she wasn't done spilling her secrets yet. Why would he want to be here? What did he see in her? Why would he want someone as damaged as Bella?

"Hey." Edward's soft voice pulled her from her inner ramblings. "Where'd you go?"

"Why are you still here, Edward?" she asked, suddenly exasperated. Not at him, but at the strange situation she found herself in.

His face fell. She immediately regretted her words, her tone. He rose from the table, clutching his plate and turned toward the sink, turning on the faucet. She winced as he clattered the pots and pans around, attempting to clean up.

The silence hung heavy in the air around them. Edward leaned against the counter, his head down, his hands balled into fists.

"I'll just clean up here and be out of your hair. I have to pack for L.A. anyway, I have shit to do today," he muttered quietly, before turning away and stalking back to the bedroom without a second glance in Bella's direction.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Bella sat, dumbfounded. She realised he thought she didn't want him there, when in reality she was just wondering why on earth he would want to still be here. His reaction told her that he wanted to be here, something she still couldn't quite get her head around, and that her words had stung.

With a sigh, she followed Edward to the bedroom. The sound of the shower running from the ensuite surprised her, she thought he'd leave straight away.

Bella slipped quietly into the bathroom, undressing quickly and pulling the shower screen door open. Edward had his back to her as she stepped into the steamy, hot cocoon and gently placed her fingers on his shoulders, raining soft kisses across his back.

"I'm sorry." Kiss. "I'm so sorry, Edward." Kiss. "Sometimes…" Kiss. "I don't…" Kiss. "The words don't come out right…" Kiss. Her hands moved lower, snaking around his waist as she pressed her body closer to his, her chest to his back.

Edward's hand clasped hers tightly, linking their fingers together as the water rained down on them.

"Bella…" he breathed. "If you're waiting for me to run away, I'm not going anywhere. I would have ran by now if I was going to."

Bella exhaled, as a wave of relief washed over her.

And there they stood, sharing soft kisses and caresses, until the water ran cold.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x

Some time later, dressed, with his hair the usual disarray, Edward stood at Bella's front door, one hand on the door knob, the other hand on Bella's hip as he pulled her close for a goodbye kiss.

"When I get back from L.A., let's start over. I wanna take you out on a date." Edward said.

"Start over?" Bella looked perplexed.

"Sure. A proper date, flowers, dinner – let me woo you."

Bella chuckled. "Woo me?"

"Oh, why not?" Edward smiled his famous dazzling smile at Bella and she blushed, nodding.

"Okay."

Edward's face changed as he stared deeply into her brown eyes. He lowered his mouth to hers one last time and met her lips with his. He didn't deepen the kiss, just lingered for a second and pulled away.

"We're not so different, me and you," he said.

And then he was gone.

* * *

**A/N**

**So Edward's heading away with work – how will our lovebirds fare without each other for a week? **

**More tomorrow. **


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

**Longer authors note at the end.**

* * *

**Chapter 50 **

"So who is she, Cullen?" Jasper Whitlock unfastened his seat belt and reclined his chair as the light above his head went off, with the telltale little ping signalling they were at cruising altitude.

Edward chuckled in response, "Who?"

"Who's the girl that's got you all brooding and thoughtful this morning?"

Edward's expression remained blank as he turned to look at his best friend.

"What makes you think there's a girl?"

"Please," Jasper scoffed. "You've been MIA for weeks dude. You've only been in the studio when you absolutely have to be and I didn't see you at the bar on Saturday night. Since when do you blow off Saturday nights?"

Edward opened his mouth to answer, before being interrupted by the stewardess making her way up the aisle.

"Can I get you anything to drink sir?" The buxom blonde stewardess leaned in, a bright smile on her face. Edward and Jasper both asked for coffee and the stewardess filled their cups, making eyes at Edward the whole time before moving on.

"Dude, there's definitely a girl. That hot stewardess was totally eye fucking you and you didn't even notice!"

Edward rolled his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, Jas, you got me. There's a girl."

The silence stretched out as Edward remained poker-faced, sipping his coffee.

Jasper's eyebrows met his hairline. "And?"

"And what, Jasper?" Edward's reply was terse. The lack of sleep last night, combined with his brain working overtime to process everything he had learned over the weekend, had made him agitated.

"Jeez dude, what crawled up your ass? You wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Jasper snickered as Edward buried his nose in the in-flight magazine, avoiding Jasper's eyes.

Sensing Edward's tone, Jasper changed the subject.

"So what time are we meeting Aro later?" he asked.

"He's sending a car for us, we're going straight to the office. Brunch, then straight into meetings all afternoon with the executives."

This trip, if successful, would ensure Moon Record's as a prominent name in the music scene. Jasper's album was flawless, and the hard graft they had put in for the last six months would hopefully pay off.

Upon completion of a six month trial period and successful album pre-sales, Aro Volturi, of Volturi Records would be investing a substantial amount of money in Edward's label, helping to put Moon Record's on the map as the best indie label in the country.

Edward would retain all power over the day-to-day running of the business, including what bands to sign, whilst Aro, Edward's uncle, would remain a silent partner, lending his expertise where necessary.

Edward hated the idea to begin with; he didn't want to be seen as being given preferential treatment because he was family. He also wanted to have something he could call his own, that he had done himself, without any help.

But Aro's money, knowledge and power in the industry would be priceless to Edward's company, as well as Jasper as an artist, and the other bands he had signed up so far. Aro knew this, and knew Edward would find it hard to say no. So Aro set up the six month trial period, at the end of which Edward would have to present his business plan to the rest of the partners, along with a preview of Jasper's album, before launching it later that week.

Edward felt so nervous about the week ahead it was nauseating. He didn't need any distractions this week.

Unfortunately, a certain brown-eyed girl occupied his every thought, and he wasn't sure how he would get through the week being away from her.

**~ x ~ x ~ x**

"Isabella!"

Bella stopped short of her office door as her boss caught up with her, making his way towards her from the conference room down the hall. She turned, wary of the furrowed brow and troubled expression across Mr Masen's face.

Her mind had been elsewhere during this morning's meeting, and several times Alice had nudged her knee discreetly under the table.

"A minute please, Isabella? My office."

_Oh shit. _

Bella followed her boss to his office and took a seat across the desk from him. She had always been intimated by the older man, who was strikingly handsome, a little cocky, and from what she'd heard from office gossip, a lot sleazy.

"Isabella, you seem distracted of late." Masen rested his chin in his steepled fingers and stared at her intently.

Momentarily thrown off by the scrutiny of his gaze, Bella took a moment to collect herself before taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry sir. It won't happen again, I have the meeting recorded; I'll review it this evening in my own time. The dispositions for the Jackson case are complete, I just need some signatures on the rest of the paperwork – "

Masen held up a hand and Bella immediately fell silent.

"I'm not just talking about the meeting, Isabella. You're here, but you're not really here lately - you haven't put in half as much overtime as you did last month – and you just don't seem focused."

Bella's cheeks flushed at the chastisement and she dropped her head.

"I'm so sorry sir." Her voice was as small as she felt.

"Isabella, look at me," Masen's voice softened and Bella looked up, shocked to see that he wasn't angry, but his face was a picture of compassion.

"I didn't drag you in here to berate you, Isabella. You've been working hard for months now, you were here every minute the building was open, and you always took work home. You need a break."

"Sir, no I…"

Masen cut her off again with a wave of his hand, rising from his chair and walking around the desk, perching himself on the edge of the desk, very close to where Bella sat in her chair.

"No arguments, Isabella. You haven't taken a single vacation day since you started working here."

He was right. Since Bella moved to Chicago and started her job with Masen & Jenks, she'd had tunnel vision. Work, and making partner within the firm was the only thing that mattered. With the exception of mandatory holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, she hadn't taken any vacation time. She worked twelve, sometimes fourteen-hour days, her only downtime being Saturday nights with Alice. She'd been known to come into the office on a Sunday afternoon to get extra work done, if she wasn't too hungover.

"Sir, I have too much on the moment, I can't take time off." Bella shook her head profusely, waves of nausea rolling through her stomach at the thought.

"Isabella, I admire your dedication to this firm. That's why you are where you are today. But you're even more of a workaholic than I am, and I need you fully focused when you are here. We can manage without you for a few days. Take the rest of the week, get some rest, get out of town for a few days. I want you back here first thing Monday morning back on top form."

Bella sensed the finality in his tone, and knew that resistance was futile. Standing from her chair, she raised her head to look him in the eye.

"Okay, thank you, Mr Masen."

As Bella opened the door to leave the office, Masen chuckled.

"Isabella?" she turned to face him, and was startled to find his face inches from hers.

"We're partners now Isabella. No more of this Sir, or Mr Masen business."

Stepping back, Bella forced a smile.

"Okay. Thank you, Tony."

* * *

**Hmmm Tony Masen then eh? And we meet Jasper for the first time. We will see him again later.**

**Sorry for the delay you guys – life has been a bit crazy. I'm no longer going to put at the end of my chapters "more tomorrow" or "more later" or whatever, as truthfully I don't know when I will update. RL is crazy at the minute, working 6 days a week and extra commuting. I don't anticipate anymore than a week between updates and where the drabbles are shorter they will be more regular. As I said before, I may not always stick to the drabble format, one chapter could be 200 words, another could be 2000. And where there are longer chapters there will be a longer gap between updates. Pilotward has been distracting me this week (naughty boy) and I had to get some stuff written for that whilst the ideas were fresh. Don't ask me when I'm going to start posting that, as I honestly have no idea at all.**

**ARTISTIC LICENCE: I have no idea about record companies/recording studios/law firms. I've tried to do a little research. I do have a friend in the U.S. who has just made partner in her law firm at age 31, so I do think its realistic that Bella would have just made partner at 30. When I started this drabble I didn't really intend to go into much detail about either Bella or Edward's jobs as initially it wasn't relevant to the plot. Both jobs are now a little relevant, but I apologise if anything about their jobs is inaccurate. This is my first fic and I am still learning, and like I have said before, this is a drabble which has turned into so much more. I am spending a lot of time researching for my Pilotward fic to ensure that things in it are accurate, which is why I wont start posting it yet. **

**Thanks for sticking with me you guys. Sorry I don't get time to reply to your reviews but I do appreciate each and every single one of them. Shout out to quietdrabble who encouraged me to expand the original flashfic chapter 1 into a full fic, which has lead to this, to ItsEmilyY'all for her constant encouragement and banter on Twitter and to Deedlez01 who makes me laugh out loud with her reviews. **

**Come chat on Twitter , sparklymeg **

**Fic Recs: **

**Something True by Believeitornot – a beautifully written slow burn between High School aged Bella and college dropout Edward. "Then & now" alternate chapters going from last year to present day. Edward is so swoon-worthy and sweet in this fic. Daily updates. **

**Fix You by Chocaholic123 – Drama, angst, but frigging awesome and again beautifully written, in the 3****rd**** person so you really get into both characters heads. **

**The Art of Getting fluffed by ChocSparrow – absolutely laugh out loud hilariously funny Pornward and Fluffella.**

**Deviant by planetblue – absolutely shit hot sexual deviant voyeur B&E – E has a sweet side though. She updates twice a week. **

**All WIPS but ALL AMAZING!**

**LOVE YOU GUYS mwah xxx **


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 51**

Bella's week off work already felt like a year.

After leaving work on Monday morning, she'd had coffee with Alice, grocery shopped, cleaned her apartment from top to bottom, caught on up all her bills, cleaned out her car, had just returned from a run, and it was only five p.m.

Flopping down on the couch, she found that the silence in her apartment was suffocating. She was never here long enough to notice it before.

Flipping open her cellphone, checking her messages, she frowned when she realised she hadn't heard from Edward. She'd text him this morning wishing him a safe trip and he hadn't replied.

She guessed he was busy with his meetings. She guessed he was too focused on his presentation to check his cell. She guessed he would reply later, when he had a free moment.

She didn't want to believe that he was ignoring her. She didn't want to believe that her crazy put him off. She didn't want to believe that she wouldn't hear from him again.

Yet, despite how many times he had assured her over the weekend that he was still interested, she couldn't help the voices that echoed in the back of her head.

Jacob's voice, biting and cold, berating her and comparing her to other women.

Leah's voice, full of acid and poison, telling Bella it was her own fault her husband had cheated on her.

The words had ingrained themselves so hard in her psyche that day that she had never really shaken them off. She had believed she was a fat cow, despite what the scales and her clothing size told her. She had believed she was useless, despite the constant praise of her boss and colleagues. She had believed all these things about herself, until very recently.

Edward constantly called her "beautiful" or "pretty girl". She so badly wanted to allow herself to believe that he was genuine; he certainly seemed it. But the carefully constructed dam around her heart didn't allow her to hope, to dream, to believe.

Jacob was all she had ever known. And even though she knew _now_ that they hadn't been right together from the start, it didn't change the fact that he had betrayed her trust and trampled all over her self esteem with his words and actions.

How could she trust again?

A vibration on her lap startled her, and she realized that she had been dozing on and off, her mind a muddled mess of musings.

A small smile tugged at her lips as she saw Edward's name on the display. Flipping open her cell, she saw two text messages.

**_Flight was fine – arrived safe. Crazy busy here, call you later, xo – E_**

And then a second message:

_**Ps. I miss your beautiful face. Smile for me, pretty girl, xo – E**_

Bella smiled wider, her thumbs moving rapidly across the touch screen composing a reply.

_**Glad you arrived safe. Hope meetings go well. I'm smiling right now ; - ) , xo – B**_

Not thirty seconds passed before Bella's phone vibrated again; she grinned even wider at his reply.

_**A winky face smile? Dammit Swan, wink face me again and I may have to fly home early ; - ) – E**_

_**Please do, Mr Cullen, I have the rest of the week off work ; - ) – B **_

_**Tease – E **_

_**You love it ; - ) - B **_

_**That I do, Ms Swan, that I do. Laters, I gotta get back in there. Xo – E **_

_**Later, xo – B**_

He missed her "beautiful face". Bella barely resisted screaming with glee into the couch cushion.

**~ x ~ x ~ x **

"Right. Spill it, Cullen. I wanna know what has you grinning like a fool." Jasper nudged Edward in the ribs, winking at him as they made their way back to the conference room after the bathroom break.

Edward's mood was lighter than it had been that morning. Brunch, making nice and schmoozing with Aro's associates had gone over smoothly, and the initial briefing meeting had gone well. The pressure had lessened slightly, and his text exchange with Bella had calmed him.

"Jas, man, she's amazing." Edward gushed, as he took a seat in the waiting area outside the conference room. Aro and his associates were conferring and had asked Edward and Jasper to step out for fifteen minutes. Edward laid his suit jacket over the back of the chair beside him and loosened his tie.

Jasper stopped short at Edward's words. He had never seen his friend like this over a girl. The passion in his voice, the glint in his eye, was something Jasper had only ever seen in Edward when he talked about music, when he sang, when he played piano.

Music was his first love.

Women came and went in and out of Edward's life. Few stuck around, usually through Edward's lack of interest after a few weeks, days in some cases.

"You're in love with her," Jasper stated simply. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah man. I am. It's only been about six weeks. At first it was just sex and we were both fine with that. Then I couldn't keep away. I crave her, there's just this pull between us, you know? And it's not just her body. I want to know every single thing about her. I can picture us old and grey, on a porch swing, surrounded by grandchildren. She's beautiful. She kind. And so, so strong."

Edward's voice was thick with emotion, and Jasper sat down beside him, dumbfounded at Edward's declaration.

"Huh," Jasper said, stuck for words.

"I don't want to scare her off, Jasper. She grew up in a total shit storm, and her ex did a number on her. She told me some pretty crazy stuff this weekend. I don't think she trusts anyone."

"Does she know about…" Jasper trailed off, aware of the sensitive nature of the subject he was about to bring up.

Edward swallowed what seemed like a golf ball.

"No."

"If she's been honest with you, you gotta be honest with her man."

* * *

**Hmm what does Edward have to say?**


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

* * *

**Chapter 52**

Between meetings, negotiations, lawyer's offices, and press junkets for the merger and Jasper's album, Edward barely had time to catch his breath in L.A.

By Wednesday evening, after hashing out the finer details of the financial negotiations, the ink on the contracts was dry and Aro was popping open a bottle of champagne in one of L.A's finest hotspots. Edward and Jasper, surrounded by some of L.A's finest producers and music executives, were a little overwhelmed by all the fuss.

Toasts, clinking glasses and raucous laugher echoed around the table. Edward made polite small talk with Aro's associates while Jasper would nudge him every so often when he spotted a Hollywood A-lister in the restaurant. Edward was vaguely aware of Jasper wittering on about some guy from some vampire movie, but he could find it in himself to pay attention.

He missed his girl.

After having spent the entire weekend in Bella's presence, listening to her soft, sweet voice, breathing in her potent scent, laughing together, crying together, holding, kissing, touching, teasing; the few days being separated from her were like his own form of personal hell.

He was like an addict, craving his next fix, having resorted to jerking off in the shower to provide some form of relief.

It wasn't enough.

Her face was imprinted in his mind every time he closed his eyes. The way her eyes danced when she laughed, the adorable way her eyebrows fused together in the middle of her brow when she was confused. Her blush, which he had discovered he could uncover fairly easily with just the right pressure with his thumb on her hip bone, or a feather light kiss along her jaw.

There was something so raw and passionate about the way she talked about her work, something in her eyes, a grit strength and determination when she had described her inner turmoil as a result of her troubled past. She didn't even realise how strong she was.

As the evening wore on, Edward was becoming more restless, discreetly checking his phone and murmuring a distracted response every so often to Jasper. Now that everything was wrapped up with the merger, the rest of Edward's time in L.A. had been put aside for playtime. He and Jasper planned to take in a few concerts, head out to Malibu for some surfing, and visit with Aro and his family. They were due to fly back to Chicago on Saturday.

It was too long.

As several of their dinner companions started to gradually disperse toward the bar or the exit, Edward was vaguely aware of Aro and Jasper deep in conversation about the epic guitar solo on track seven of the album.

Tunnel vision overtook him, and all he could see was her face. He was out of his chair before he even realised what he was doing. From the corner of his eye he could see Aro's eyebrows furrowed together in a silent question. As Edward pulled on his jacket, Jasper's voice calling his name was merely a string of blurred words as he marched determinedly out of the restaurant and hailed a taxi.

He'd worry about Aro and Jasper later. _They_ would understand.

He was going to get his girl.

* * *

**A/N**

**Awwwwww **


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

**Thank you to the wonderful Sparrownotes24 for my beautiful banner for this fic, and to Chocaholic123 for pre-reading this chapter for me. You girls are awesome!**

* * *

**Chapter 53**

_Deep down, in the back of her mind, Bella knew that it was a dream. So reminiscent of many dreams she'd had before. She was running; running fast from something. She couldn't run this fast in real life, as much as she'd like to try. The scenery was different from other dreams, and despite the frantic pace of her run, she somehow knew instinctively that she wasn't going to wake startled from this dream._

_Dim, dull, blurred outlines of shapes she couldn't identify. Night time, cold; yet a fine bead of sweat trickling down the back of her neck from her exertion, breathless from keeping the pace of an Olympic sprinter - trees; maybe a forest? _

_She stumbled over a tree stump but corrected herself with quick reflexes and sprinted on. Yes, a forest. As her speed quickened, night became half light, and eventually, light; spots of brilliant colour peeking through the dim forest as dawn broke. _

_A brilliant explosion of colours and scents invaded her senses, pinks, purples, greens, and yellows, all around her in the clearing. The clear blue sky, random puffs of white dotted along the horizon, a gentle breeze instantly cooling her sticky skin. _

_Stepping out of the shade of trees, the heat instantly warmed her back again, her feet carrying her steadily, slowly this time to the middle of the clearing. _

_She was in a beautiful meadow; tall flowers tickling her knees, the ground soft on her bare feet. An idyllic, romantic setting, which immediately brought her a serene sense of calm and well being, a stark contrast to her usual dreams. _

_She realised then, that she hadn't been running from something. She had been running _to _something. _

_In the middle of the clearing, sitting on the same plaid blanket they'd taken to Lincoln Park, sat Edward, green eyes shining, his dazzling smile lighting up his beautiful face. _

_As Bella advanced closer, Edward stood to his feet, tugging on her hand, enveloping her body with his. _

_Bella immediately felt at home in his arms, relief washing over her, enjoying this beautiful change in her nightly dream world. _

**BANG BANG BANG BANG**

_She didn't want to wake up._

**BANG BANG BANG BANG**

The images faded fast from Bella's mind as she hovered between sleep and consciousness. She scrunched her eyes tightly, willing the dream to return. But all she saw was black as the incessant banging continued.

She bolted upright in bed. _What the heck?_

Checking her cellphone, she noticed several missed calls and texts, but noting the time, she grumbled to herself as she realised someone was knocking on her front door at one thirty in the morning.

Climbing out of bed and fumbling blindly for her robe, she stumbled through the dark apartment to the front door as the persistent middle of the night caller continued his assault on the door.

"Alright! I'm coming, dammit!" she called out, pulling her robe tightly around her.

Unlocking the deadbolt and swinging the door open, Bella barely had time to register the deep green eyes she had just been dreaming about, before Edward had pulled her into his arms and fused his lips with hers.

* * *

**A/N**

**Squee! He just couldn't stay away. What did you think of her dream? Would love to hear your thoughts. These kids are gonna get EVERYTHING out on the table next few chapters. I hope to update again asap, but I want to get the right words for everything they both have to say. Thank you for your patience and thanks for all the love and reviews for this fic! **

**I am on facebook now! Sparklymeg Fanfiction! Come chat with me on there! xx**


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**I do not own a Beta for this little drabble**

***waves hi to all the new followers* **

**Email has gone crazy again this week with new followers, so hi everyone if you are just joining us! Don't forget to hit that review button! FLOVE YOU ALL xx **

* * *

**Chapter 54**

Edward caught Bella's gasp of surprise with his lips, as he gripped her hips and lifted her into his arms. Slamming the door behind him, stumbling through the foyer of her apartment; he breathed heavily through his nose as his lips remained glued to hers, a deep, desperate kiss, his tongue battling for dominance, teeth nipping at her bottom lip, rough hands kneading her hips, working down to her butt.

Separating her thighs and pulling them around his waist, he pinned her roughly against the wall in the hallway, and broke away for air.

"Edward…" Bella's voice was rough with sleep, breathless; she blinked, taking in her surroundings.

_I'm still dreaming._

His lips latched on to her neck, feasting hungrily on the soft skin there, pinching, biting, and marking her. Bella whimpered at the exquisite torture, the sensation going straight to her lower stomach, as one of his hands travelled from its tight grip on her hip, up to her breast, squeezing roughly through the flimsy covering of her robe.

"Edward…is this…why…what are you doing here?" she forced the words out between whimpers and moans as he continued his desperate kisses all over her neck and chest.

He merely grunted in response as he slipped his hand lower to the tie on her robe and loosened it, the soft silk fabric falling away, slipping off her shoulders to the floor.

He stepped back, lowering her to the ground, his eyes wandering eagerly up and down her body, naked save for her blue lace panties, before finally landing on her face.

"Edward," she repeated, her voice merely still a whisper as she steadied her shaky legs. "What are you doing here?"

He placed one hand across her chest, right above her heart, which was pounding furiously from their frenzied reunion.

"Bella…I…had to see you," he said simply, as his hand travelled up her chest, neck, and brushed her hair off her face. He hesitated, his eyes begging a silent question, his hand moving up, tangling his fingers through her thick, glossy hair.

Bella was momentarily flustered by his declaration, and as she struggled to regain steady breathing, she realised she was indeed awake, not dreaming; and Edward was indeed here, in Chicago and not in L.A.

A million questions ran through her mind, but right then, in that moment, all she cared about was his hands in her hair, his lips on hers, and the look of pure adoration in his eyes.

Bella grasped his head with her hands, pulling him closer, melding her lips with his, clinging to him desperately; it wasn't close enough.

"Bella…." Edward's voice was husky as he broke away from her lips and kissed all over her face, covering every inch. "I need you. Jesus, I need you so much. You have no idea what you do to me, Bella."

No words were needed as Bella responded by moving her hands down to his waist, fumbling clumsily with his belt. Edward heard the telltale clink of his belt buckle and moved his hands down to the soft thin fabric of Bella's panties.

In one swift, fluid movement, Bella had stepped out of her panties and Edward's jeans and boxers were around his knees.

"Jesus, you're always so ready for me, Bella," he panted, as his fingers moved quickly to her slick entrance, so hot, wet, and tight, he wasted no time in plunging two fingers inside her and working her over relentlessly, her breathing coming in short, sharp pants, like music to Edward's ears. Bella hooked one leg around Edward's hip, opening herself further, allowing him to push deeper.

"Please, Edward, I need you inside me…" Bella trailed off as Edward shifted, removing his fingers and lifting her off her feet, slamming her roughly against the wall and pulling both her legs around his waist.

"You want me, Bella? Right here?" he probed, goading her. "Say it, Bella, tell me what you want."

His fingers squeezed her butt, as he pushed himself closer to her, his painfully hard cock sliding up and down her wet lips, teasing her.

"Fuck me, Edward," she whispered breathily.

Edward pulled back, lining his cock up with her slick entrance, sliding home with one quick, sharp thrust. Bella let out a deep, guttural moan at the intensity of the contact, while Edward froze.

"Shit."

Bella's eyes snapped open and met Edward's gaze, as he pressed his forehead to hers. Her brow furrowed at the pained look in his eyes.

"Edward?"

His face dropped to where they were joined, and he sighed. "Condom."

He began to pull out, his grip on her thighs loosening, as he started to lower her to the ground.

"Edward…It's ok…" she plunged her fingernails into his shoulders, willing him to stay, willing him to carry on. "I'm on the pill, and um… well, I'm clean, I mean… there hasn't been anyone else, before you… since…him."

Edward faltered, his face filled with wonder, trepidation, hesitation. Sex with Bella was beyond amazing, beyond anything he had ever experienced. But he had never, not once in his life, fucked a girl without a condom. The thought of filling her, consuming her, without any barriers, was almost enough to make him blow his load right there and then like a teenager on prom night.

Bella sensed his hesitation and leaned in, chastely kissing him once, twice, three times on the lips before levelling her eyes with his. "Please Edward, I want to feel you. I want to feel all of you. I trust you."

Edward's heart began to pound furiously, blood ringing in his ears as he took stock of her words. Three little words, words that so many threw around carelessly, that so many had to work so hard to earn. Those three little words were everything to him and he knew in that moment that she was talking about more than unprotected sex.

"Please, Edward-" Bella's words were abruptly cut off when, with one quick shift, she found herself slammed up against the wall again, impaled on his rock hard cock.

Edward gasped at the sensation of being inside his beautiful girl without any barriers. He knew then, that this was the first of many barriers he would break when it came to Isabella Swan. Not only her barriers, but his barriers too. He knew, without a doubt in that second they had connected in this way, that his heart belonged to her. He would give her anything.

He began to pound into her, hard, fast, relentless in his ministrations. Jesus, she felt so good like this, so warm, so wet, so perfect. They fit together so beautifully, he wanted to capture the sensation and bottle it up. He wanted to lock her in a room and throw away the key, keep her there every minute, every hour of every day.

He pumped faster, deeper, the muscles of his legs straining under the exertion; showing her how he needed her, wanted her, how much he had missed her. Euphoria washed over him as he realised he was there, with his girl; after missing her so, after feeling like a lovesick teenager while he was in L.A, after abandoning his best friend and uncle to fly straight home and see her. The emotions overwhelmed him; combined with the heightened sensation of fucking her bareback, Edward knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Bella, shit… I need…" Edward's jaw clenched as he fought hard to stave off his orgasm, but he was lost in her, drunk on her, high on the feel of her thighs clenched tightly around his hips, the feel of her nails digging sharply into her back, dizzy from the beautiful sounds he was conjuring from her sweet mouth.

"Please Edward, let it go…" she whispered in his hear, dropping her lips to his neck and sucking, marking him as she knew he had marked her earlier. "I want to feel your cum inside me."

Her words were his undoing as he let out a feral growl, brilliant white blinding his eyes, his release exploding deep inside her as he came, his grunts and moans and "so good's" swallowed by her kisses.

He stilled, struggling to gain control of his shaky legs, overcome with an intense urge to just collapse to the floor and pull Bella down on top of him. Bella dropped her head onto his shoulder and sighed.

"Did you…?" Edward started, but broke off as Bella answered his unfinished question with a quick shake of her head.

_Shit. _

This was a first for Edward – well - since he'd _been _a teenager on prom night.

"It's okay, Edward," whispered Bella, planting a single kiss on his shoulder, as her fingers played idly with his hair.

"It's not okay, Bella." Edward deadpanned, as pulled out of her. Bella groaned at the loss of connection and then gasped when she felt Edward's fingers replace his cock, the pad of his thumb working lightly over her clit, teasing, nipping, pinching, two fingers plunging deep and hard, alternating with soft and slow, before switching up again.

He was determined in his efforts, and when Bella finally shuddered and shook and clenched around his fingers, her soft gasps and pants filling the hallway, her fingernails leaving deep marks in his shoulder, there was no doubt in Edward's mind that he had satisfied his girl.

Bella flopped over him; exhausted, as Edward carried her to the bedroom. They tumbled in to bed, a mass of tangled limbs and messy hair, and curled up close to each other, both holding on tight for dear life, two hearts beating furiously as one.

"Guess we'll save some money on condoms from now on," Edward whispered with a low chuckle, as Bella drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N**

**Phew!**


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight **

**Check out the end note.**

* * *

**Chapter 55**

A shrill, persistent ringing.

Muffled curses, weight shifting around the bed, a sudden chill, a loud _thud_.

Bella shot up in bed, startled from a peaceful sleep. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she looked up to find Edward on the floor, at the foot of the bed, tangled up in the sheets and grimacing, rubbing his leg.

Bella stifled a giggle at the hot clumsy mess that was Edward, having fallen out of bed in a rush to answer his phone, flustered and bleary eyed with sleep.

The phone started chirping again, and Edward hobbled out of the room, mumbling as he went.

Bella smiled and flopped back down on the soft pillow, pulling the sheet – which was hanging half off the bed – around her chest.

If it weren't for his scent all around her, and the way her body felt a little tender in all the right places from their late night reunion, she would think it all a pleasant, albeit slightly naughty dream.

The dream she _had_ been having before Edward arrived... well, she remembered it so clearly.

The speed at which she ran, urgent and desperate to get to her destination – the way she'd somehow known it would lead to Edward.

How perfectly at home she'd felt when he'd wrapped his arms around her in the serene, peaceful meadow.

It was like coming home.

She'd never really felt at home anywhere: moving around so much with Renee when she was a kid, then abruptly sent back to Forks after her mother's untimely death; the constant back and forth at weekends while she was in college, commuting to Port Angeles every day for work once she'd graduated. There was a constant feeling of being unsettled, a feeling of never really being grounded in one place.

Of course, running to Chicago when things had fallen apart with Jacob was supposed to be a fresh start, a new life, somewhere to plant herself and finally feel settled.

Chicago had never really felt like home either. Sure, she loved her job, and Alice had welcomed her with open arms – literally – on her first day at Masen & Jenks. Alice had enveloped her into a huge hug the second they'd been introduced, predicting that they would be great friends.

Of course, they were.

But there was still the constant heavy burden of loneliness, of having no family around her, having no one special to share her life with – that had gotten her stuck in this rut.

Despite the hard-faced façade of indifference she had worn for the past three years, despite the vehement rejection of any kind of male attention, and despite her determination for her life to remain exactly the way it was, a tiny, miniscule part of Bella still wished that she would find someone special.

While she had wished and hoped, she hadn't dared to dream or believe.

Until she met Edward.

Of three things Bella was absolutely certain.

One, she was falling for Edward Cullen in a crazy way.

Two, she was absolutely petrified of it.

Three, despite surviving all that life had thrown at her so far; she knew she wouldn't survive if she gave Edward the power to break her.

~x~x~x~x

"So what did Jasper say?"

Bella and Edward strolled through Lincoln Park; fingers linked together, takeaway coffee cups in their other hands, in no rush to be anywhere. After Edward's early phone call and swift exit from bed, he'd rejoined Bella and they dozed, kissed, cuddled and talked until midday. Their rumbling tummies were the only thing that roused them from their bubble.

Edward had asked Bella question after question; he wanted to know every minute detail of her life. He wanted to know all her favourites – books, movies, colours, food. He wanted to know where she had travelled, and wasn't surprised to learn that she had never left the Continental US – this was something he planned to change.

Bella in turn asked her own questions, learning that he had spent a year in London on an apprenticeship at a prominent record label. He hadn't been to college, choosing to take the vocational route into his chosen career.

They'd shared their experiences of first kisses, first tastes of alcohol, getting caught and grounded by their parents for doing something forbidden, and high school prom and graduation. Bella discovered that Edward shared her passion for running, but that he was decidedly clumsy and uncoordinated when it came to team sports.

He really was perfect – for her.

Now, as they walked through the park, the heat of the mid-afternoon sun warming their backs; their tummies full from the bagels and coffee they had grabbed from the coffee shop on the corner of Bella's street, conversation had lulled into a comfortable, contented silence when Bella decided to bring up this mornings phone call.

Edward chuckled and shrugged.

"Jasper's cool. He was a little alarmed at my abrupt departure. Thought I had a family emergency or something. Once I explained why I left, he was cool about it." Edward squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb over hers where their fingers were linked.

"He was cool? About you just up and leaving? Abandoning boy time for a girl?"

"Jasper's a romantic. I'd swear he was a girl if I didn't know better. He's single, but ever the optimist. He's pleased I've finally met someone special."

Bella blushed at his insinuation and suddenly became very interested in her shoelaces. From the corner of her eye she could see Edward studying her closely, as if waiting for her to respond. When she didn't, he spoke up.

"Hey," he said, nudging her shoulder with his. "You're pretty special, Bella, you know?"

Dumping his coffee cup in a nearby trashcan, he pulled her close, one hand around her waist, the other hand reaching up, tilting her chin up so he could look into her eyes.

"You know that, right?" he repeated.

Bella smiled, despite herself; despite the internal war of emotions that continued to rage inside of her.

Everything about this, about _him_, just felt so right.

She fought desperately against that tiny part of her that wanted to run from him and the magnitude of his words.

"You're pretty special too," she whispered. Her eyes burning, she turned away quickly to throw her coffee cup away, desperately trying to blink away the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Edward snaked his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her back close to his chest. He placed a single chaste kiss on her shoulder, over her shirt. She could feel the smile in his lips. Taking a deep breath, Bella internally shrugged off her mini emotional meltdown.

"So…finally met someone special? So you've been looking for a while then?" her tone teasing, she was only half serious. Bella suddenly found herself very interested in Edward's romantic history and realised how little she really knew about him.

Bella watched as Edward's features darkened, a frown washing over his face. He nodded to a nearby park bench and pulled on her hand.

"Come, sit. Let's talk. I need to tell you some things."

"Ooh, that sounds ominous," Bella teased as they sat down. "You know, Edward, after everything I've told you, I doubt it can be that bad."

Edward smiled, but it was small, almost sad, as he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his thick, messy locks.

"My parents – Carlisle and Esme – they aren't really my parents," Edward began, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Well, not biologically. They are the best parents anyone could ask for. I never wanted for anything once they took me in, and not just materially. Knowing now what I know about your parents, I really can't complain about one single thing in my time with them."

Bella recalled his parting words to her before he had left for L.A, realising that she was not at all shocked by his confession.

"_We're not so different, me and you."_

"Your real parents – are they…?" Bella didn't want to finish her sentence. She couldn't bring herself to say that horrible word that invaded her mind several times daily; reminding her that she was an orphan.

"I don't know who my father is. My mother's dead." Edward's voice was monotone, his face stoic as he spoke slowly but surely, his words firm and final.

Bella cringed; she knew only too well the pain of losing parents. She reached for Edward's hand where it rested on top of his knee, linking their fingers together and squeezing lightly in an attempt to soothe him.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted me when I was eleven. I was pretty lucky; I was assigned them as foster parents straight away – they made it all official a year later."

Edward chuckled humourlessly. "Apparently I reminded my mother too much of him. I don't know who he was. She was sad all the time – drank every night. I remember lying awake at night listening to her crying. Her eyes were so empty all the time. She used to say I had his eyes, and that it made her sad to look at me."

Bella's heart shattered for him. Despite losing her parents and feeling rejected and unloved by Jacob, one thing she was sure of was her parents' love for her. To think that Edward, who seemed so caring, passionate, and kind, had been so cruelly rejected by the person who brought him into the world was unfathomable.

"One morning I woke up for school and the house was so quiet. I was used to that – she would sleep late after her drinking binges. She'd yell at me if I went into her room early in the morning, so I knew better than to disturb her. I made myself breakfast and walked to school; that was normal too – we only lived five minutes from school. But the house seemed different, emptier somehow. When I got home from school that day and she still wasn't there, I figured she was running errands. I did my homework and spent the evening watching cartoons."

Edward broke off, his breathing uneven, his eyes closed.

"It was getting dark and she still wasn't home. She'd do that every now and then – not all the time, but it had happened before – she'd disappear for a whole day, or more. So I figured she was off on one of her binges. I went to wash up for bed and there was no toothpaste left in my bathroom, so I went to get some from her bathroom." Edward shuddered visibly, and Bella tightened her grip on his hand.

"The room reeked of whiskey and vomit. She was lying there on the bed, lifeless. The rest is a blur after that. From what I gather, my screams alerted my neighbour, who called the ambulance. But it was too late. She was already gone."

Edward's voice cracked, he was choked up, tears now freely flowing down his face. He made no attempt to hide them.

"She drank herself into a stupor then choked on her own vomit."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," Bella whispered, linking her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. She needed to be closer to him.

"Thank you, Bella," he whispered. He took a deep breath before continuing. "We didn't have any other family that I knew of. My mom was a bit flighty, a teen runaway, I learned later. I was taken into the care of the state, and then later fostered by the Cullens. All I really know about my father is my middle name. Edward, for my grandfather, my mom's father, who I met a few years ago. And Anthony, after my father. That much my mom told me when I was a kid."

"What was your mother's name?"

"Elizabeth Platt. I was Edward Platt. She never told me anything about him, and it turned out his name wasn't on my birth certificate either, so I got her last name. All I know is his name is Anthony. After she died, amongst her belongings there was a journal. She spoke about how heartbroken she was about him leaving. So I can only guess that she was deeply in love with him and his leaving broke her heart. I guess that's why she drank."

It was all clear to Bella now: why he'd reacted so strongly at her drinking behaviour; why he'd poured all her alcohol down the sink; why she'd never seen him drink anymore than one glass at any one sitting.

"Your tattoo?" Bella asked, recalling the inked initials - _E.P._

"For her. I mean, sure I was mad at her. Sure, she was selfish. But she was still my mom and I loved her. I know, in her own way, she loved me too. She did her best as a single mother I guess. I remember her baking cookies with me, and playing in the garden with me when I was younger. She used to call me her special boy. In moments of lucidity, she was a great mom. But those moments were few and far between. Most of the time she was drunk, and that's when she would cry, ignore me, tell me I looked like him and that it made her sad to look at me. I don't hold it against her. I guess heartbreak and alcohol can skew someone's perspective."

Bella marvelled at how gracious, how forgiving, how accepting Edward was. He had been so calm about all the things she had told him; comforted her, held her as she'd cried and poured her heart out to him – and all this time he was struggling with his own heartbreak.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say," she whispered, wiping at her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him, a small smile warming his features. He cupped her face with his hand, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. Bella's stomach fluttered, realising that despite their conversation, she still couldn't control her reaction to his touch.

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to say anything - I know you know what it's like," Edward said. "I miss her everyday, but I don't hold a grudge. I can't judge her for the things I didn't know about her. Besides, Esme has been a wonderful mother. She couldn't have kids, so they fostered and then eventually adopted me, and my brother Emmett. I've had a pretty sweet time of it overall. Nothing compared to what you've been through."

"Edward, don't say that," Bella whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder again. "I'm amazed by how strong you are. I never would have guessed. You seem so happy all the time."

"I am happy, Bella," he replied simply. "I've made the best of it. Sure, it helped that I got lucky with my foster home. Some kids don't get that. Esme and Carlisle have money, and like I said, we never wanted for anything. Carlisle taught us the value of money from a young age, made us work hard for our privileges. I had a part time job from the age of fifteen. They gave me my freedom, and accepted my decision not to go to school. I love my job, and things are really gonna take off now with the studio. I just bought my own apartment. I'm very lucky…"

"But?" Bella finished for him.

"But when it comes to relationships, I run. Although I look at Esme and Carlisle, and my brother and his wife, and think that I really want what they have, I somehow can't forget my mother's words in her journal. She was crazy in love with my father; devastated when he left. And in the end it killed her. It's like... I never want to give someone that power over me. I've been with a lot of women, but nothing has ever lasted longer than a few weeks. I'm not proud of it, but I've always been honest about my intentions."

Bella flinched at his words and pulled back. This was what she was afraid of. Was this his way of telling her, in no uncertain terms, that this was just a fling? That there was no future for them?

But then why was he still here? Why had he flown all the way back from L.A just to tell her he was done? Why would he say she was special?

Edward, seeing Bella's reaction, cringed at his own words, reaching out and taking both her hands in his. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. That's what it's been like, until now, Bella. Until I met you. You are special. But it scares the shit out of me. And you've been through hell too. I'm scared of hurting you, and I'm scared of getting hurt."

They were both silent for a long time, just sitting there, taking stock of his words, his declaration. They had much more in common than she'd realised. They'd both experienced great loss, and were both scared of being burned again. Bella felt somewhat relieved at Edward's confessions. While it was never pleasant to hear of someone's death, it warmed her somewhat to know that he understood some of what she had been through, having experienced it himself.

She was in awe of the man before her, and she felt guilty. He really had made the best of what life had thrown at him, and yet here she was, having spent the last three years moping over her failed marriage, drinking herself into oblivion and blaming the world for her lot in life.

It had to stop. It was time to lay all the cards out on the table.

"Edward," she began, her voice shaky with emotion. "I'm scared too. But I can't deny how I feel about you. I've never felt this way before, and I'm willing to explore whatever this is, if you'll have me."

Edward smiled, a real smile that reached his eyes, which were still glistening from the tears he'd shed. "I'll take whatever I can get, Bella. There's still a lot we don't know about each other, but I'm willing to try too. I can't deny it, you owned me from the very start."

Bella's heart swelled, feeling like it might burst out of her chest. She ached with love for this man. It was such a scary thought, and she knew she couldn't bring herself to say the words yet, but she knew without a doubt that Edward was it for her.

"So, Bella, how about that date?" Edward asked, as he slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and nuzzling her hair. His fingers slipped below the hem of her shirt, lightly stroking the warm, soft flesh above the waistband of her jeans. She shivered at his touch, and smiled up at him contentedly.

"I think that sounds perfect Edward."

* * *

**A/N**

**You guys - I am so sorry about the wait. RL has been a whiny little bitch this past few weeks. I have the rest of the story completely outlined, I know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to end, it's just taking me longer than I thought to get there and writer's block has been a bit of an issue.**

**Hopefully this longer than normal chapter makes up for the long delay in updating. Thank you for hanging in there. I really am blown away by the response to my first story. **

**I have over 200 follows now! Amazing! But please, hit that review button, I love to hear your thoughts and theories, feedback, constructive criticism, whether you love it or hate it, hit that review button. It would really mean so much to me to hear from all you guys. **

**Chapters will also be beta'd from now on, HUGE THANKS and big sloppy kisses to K for pre-reading and Emily for the beta job. I flove you girls so hard!**

**I am going on holiday (vacation) on Sunday for 5 days, so between work all this week, packing for holidays and the general craziness of life, I cant promise another update this week. However, I do have the next chapter roughly outlined and scrawled in a notebook. So if by some miracle I get some free time it's possible I could post before I go on holiday. But again that's not a promise. After I get back from holiday, I hope to be refreshed, relaxed, and have my writing groove back. Like I said, I have this story outlined, so hopefully I can get back to regular updates very soon. **

**Thank you again for reading, reviewing and rec'ing this fic! Love you all loads. Meg x x**


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N**

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**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight**

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**Hello! I'm back! After my vacation, then some crazy working hours, and having no internet for a week, I FINALLY UPDATED! **

**This chapter turned out really long so I have split it into two parts! Part two will be up in a day or two! I promise no more 3 or 4 week waits!**

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**Thanks to my pre-reader Twilightladies and my beta ItsEmilyY'all - they polished this chapter really well for me and at short notice too - flove you girls hard xx **

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**Chapter 56 **

**The Date – Part 1**

"Dammit Alice!" Bella screeched, pulling her head away from Alice's iron grip. The backcombing brush caught in her hair, and she wailed even louder, wincing at the pain in her scalp. "That hurts!"

"Bella, it only hurts because you won't sit still and keep pulling your head away!" Alice snapped, exasperated with her best friend.

They glared at each other in the mirror for a few seconds, before Bella cracked a smile. "I'm sorry, Alice. I'm so nervous. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Alice worked the comb through Bella's hair with light nimble fingers and gently untangled. She smoothed out Bella's hair and applied hairspray, before moving her hands down to squeeze Bella's shoulders lightly.

"No worries, sweetie. But you have no need to be nervous. Edward is smitten with you, it's so obvious!"

Bella's face flushed with a warm red hue as she giggled at the memory from the previous day. She and Edward had wandered around the park and then Navy Pier all afternoon, enjoying each other's company and sharing the smaller, simpler things about their lives. It had provided light relief after the intense outpouring of emotions involved in their earlier conversation.

The afternoon had wore on, and after stuffing themselves full of hot dogs, cotton candy, and full-fat coke, Bella complained that all the food had made her sleepy and they returned to her apartment. Edward came bounding down the hall from the elevator, Bella perched on his back. At the door of Bella's apartment, they'd been met by a very smug looking Alice.

Bella had jumped down from Edward's back as he stuttered a string of incoherent ramblings as a form of introduction, drowned out by Alice's squeals of excitement. Alice had pounced on him, enveloping him in a huge hug, causing him to stumble. Edward lost his footing, grabbed Bella's arm to steady himself, and pulled the girls down with him, ending up a mass of tangled limbs on the floor.

Edward had grumbled muffled curses while Bella and Alice cackled and giggled, gasping for breath and talking in some sort of girl-code.

Alice had joined them in the apartment for coffee, talking Edward's ear off and demanding to know about Bella's week off work. After making polite conversation, Edward had made a swift exit, leaving Bella with a searing kiss and a promise to pick her up the next evening for their date.

"He couldn't take his eyes off you the whole time I was here!" Alice chirped, bringing Bella back to the present. "He is absolutely smitten with you Bella! I'm so excited for you!"

Bella couldn't contain her smile. "I'm absolutely smitten with him too, Alice."

"But..?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "But what?"

"There's always a 'but' with you, Bella."

Bella paused, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Cocking her head to one side, she pursed her lips. "Could it just be lust? I mean we've literally been sleeping together since we met. We've also shared some pretty major things about each other, but what if that's all there is? I feel like I'm already too invested in him, and what if he realises I'm not worth it?"

Pressing her lips together in a thin line, Alice took a deep breath through her nose and bit her tongue. She felt like a crappy friend, but sometimes she had no patience for Bella's "poor me" routine. She couldn't understand why Bella couldn't see what a catch she was, how many lustful stares she received from guys in bars when they went out, and how many of the guys at work had plagued Alice over and over to set them up with Bella.

"Bella, I don't know what to tell you. You're beautiful, smart and successful. You're a catch! But I could tell you that until I'm blue in the face and it won't do you any good unless you believe it too." Alice smiled sadly as she finished smoothing down Bella's hair, before glancing at her watch.

"Shit, Bella, I have to go. I'm meeting James at seven." She studied Bella in the mirror. "Your hair looks good. You all set?"

Bella not too subtly wrinkled her nose at Alice's words. She didn't like James, a guy from their firm that Alice had been dating for several weeks now, and made no effort to hide her feelings from Alice. He was sleazy, greasy, and shifty, and it made Bella's skin crawl to be in the same room as him. He eyed every woman in the place like they were a piece of meat. She shuddered at the thought.

Alice cocked an eyebrow at Bella's reaction, then chose to change the subject. "Wear the blue dress. You suit the colour," she said in a clipped tone, before flouncing out of the room, leaving Bella with her thoughts.

**~x~x~x~x~x**

Anxiety coursed through Edward's body, his heart beating fast and his breathing shallow as he approached Bella's front door. Over the last two months, he had made this elevator ride and approached this front door countless times, always exuding confidence and bravado.

Yet this time was different.

This was their first _real_ date and he wanted it to be perfect.

Swallowing the golf ball-sized lump in his throat, he knocked on the door with three sharp raps.

Hearing the muffled click clack of high heels on the wooden floor the other side of the door, he took a deep breath and put on his best dazzling smile – the one he knew Bella melted at. Even through the heavy wooden door he could smell her sweet, addictive scent in his nostrils. He wiped his sweaty palms, suddenly feeling warm and tingly with anticipation of what the evening might hold.

When the door swung open, the sight he saw in front of him almost floored him.

His mind drifted briefly to the night they'd first met in the bar. She was all skinny jeans and sheer blouse, tousled hair and legs to die for.

He'd thought her beautiful then.

The next time he saw her, when he'd arrived at her apartment to return her drivers licence, she was all power suit and pinned up hair, the curve of her delectable ass almost screaming at him to squeeze it.

His cock twitched at the memory of almost fucking her in the hallway that night.

Other times they'd spent together, she dressed down in jeans, hoodies and Chucks, and he loved her natural, effortless beauty.

Tonight however, she was a vision.

_A fucking vision. _

Her hair was pinned up high, exposing the soft, smooth skin of her neck. Random loose wisps of hair fell from the style, framing her beautiful face.

Her pale skin seemed to shimmer in the dim light, and her face was made up with subtle, smoky eye make-up and smooth gloss on her lips.

He wanted to lick it right off.

The dark blue dress was one-shouldered, exposing her delicate décolletage, and he smirked as he remembered how she shuddered every time he kissed that part of her body.

The dress clung to every curve and dip of her body, from the swell of her breasts, to where her waist nipped in, to the flare of her hips. Ending mid-thigh, it showed off a decent amount of her fantastic legs, which were encased in fuck-hot high heels.

Edward was enthralled by her beauty, his cock painfully hard at the sensory overload.

She leaned on the doorframe, a small smile gracing her plump lips.

"Hi," she whispered.

Edward closed the gap between them, until they were chest to chest, forehead to forehead, his hands resting on her hips.

"Jesus, Bella..." The words were choked, his voice husky.

She flinched, and pulled back. "It's too much, isn't it?" Bella looked down, nervously fidgeting with the neckline of her dress. Edward grabbed her wrist before she had the chance to step away any further, and pulled her close again.

Without hesitation, he pushed her against the doorframe and planted his lips on hers. He kissed her thoroughly, his lips molding strongly with hers, his tongue swirling around her tongue, before pulling back abruptly. They had dinner reservations, and if he didn't keep himself in check, they wouldn't make it to the restaurant.

"Bella," he whispered, cupping her face with his hands, placing a light kiss on the tip of her nose. "You're perfect – absolutely stunning."

Bella blushed. "Thank you, Edward. I'm not used to such a compliment."

Edward chuckled, linking his fingers with hers and tugging her out into the hallway.

"You'd better get used to it, pretty girl. Come on, let's eat."

**~x~x~x~x~x~**

Dinner was perfect.

Edward had taken her to _The Signature Room at the 95__th,_located at the top of the John Hancock Center. Bella was overwhelmed by the effort Edward seemed to have gone to for their date. Their table was located right by the huge ceiling to floor windows, with a beautiful view of the Chicago skyline. The tall buildings towered over them, the grey concrete looking almost iridescent in the fading glow of the sunset.

The waiter had served them champagne as they were seated at their table and when Bella asked Edward what they were celebrating, he smiled simply, holding her gaze as he clinked his glass with hers and said, "Us."

Bella couldn't hold back her grin all evening, even as they tucked in to their food.

She was in heaven.

Whether it was the champagne, which was making her head feel slightly fuzzy, or the huge portions of delicious food that she devoured without even a shred of a guilty conscience, the company of her gorgeous dinner companion, or all of the above, Bella realised that she hadn't felt this light, happy and carefree in a long time. Her doubts from earlier that evening had long faded with the setting sun.

After Edward had teasingly fed her with forkfuls of a deliciously decadent white and dark chocolate mousse cake, with a look of pure lust in his eyes, he had settled the bill and hastily ushered her out of the restaurant.

Pinning her roughly against the wall of the empty elevator car, he leaned in close and traced his nose along her collarbone.

"Bella…" he breathed. "Your shoulders…they've been teasing me all night." One finger followed the path his nose had made, and she gasped at the sensation of his tongue leaving a wet trail along her collarbone, followed by light, teasing kisses.

The elevator pinged, signalling their floor, and he pulled back, grinning and tugging her out of the elevator.

"Come on, sweetness," Edward chuckled, pulling a dazed Bella into the street.

"Are we going back to my place?"

"Not yet." Edward smirked.

"Where, then?"

"You'll see, pretty girl."

**~x~x~x~x~**

The huge wheel loomed over them, it's bright lights and massive presence dwarfing the couple, as Bella stretched her neck to look all the way to the top.

"Um, it's really high…" she whispered, her stomach dropping to her knees. "I, um…I'm kinda scared of heights."

"Don't be scared, Bella, it's perfectly safe." Edwards smile was warm as he tucked Bella under his shoulder and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I don't know, Edward…" she trailed off, her heart pounding.

"Come on, pretty girl, I've got ya." Edward squeezed her shoulder and stepped forward to the barrier to pay the attendant. Edward walked through the turnstile, while Bella stood rooted to the spot.

"Come on, B, it'll be fine." Edward pretended to pout, knowing that Bella couldn't resist his charm.

She chuckled nervously, and slowly moved forward to the barrier. The attendant had opened up the door to one of the cars and Edward stood, waiting for Bella to get in first. Bella took a deep breath and shook her head at her own silliness. She was safe with Edward. Her rational mind knew that nothing bad would happen.

It was time to face this fear.

After settling in beside her, Edward rested one hand on her knee.

"I can't believe you've never been on the Navy Pier Ferris Wheel," he chuckled, his fingers making small, teasing circles around her kneecap.

Bella's stomach clenched as the car lurched forward, slowly moving higher. She gripped Edward's bicep, her fingernails digging into the flesh through his shirt.

Edward snaked his hand higher on her leg in response, tracing his fingers around the middle of her inner thigh.

"I know what you're doing, Edward," Bella breathed, her eyes tightly closed.

She refused to look out the window for fear of meeting her dinner again.

Navy Pier seemed to be their place to go, to walk, to talk, to be carefree. The few times they had visited, Edward had insisted they ride the Ferris Wheel. Bella had point blank refused every time, but tonight was different.

Getting into the car was one thing, but Bella still she wasn't sure she could open her eyes. She settled back into the seat and concentrated on Edward's soothing touch.

"What am I doing, baby?" Bella jumped at his voice; he had leaned in and was whispering directly into her ear. His finger snaked higher, and before she realised what she was doing she had parted her legs slightly, allowing his hand to wander higher.

"Distracting me." Bella gasped at the sudden contact of one of his fingers sweeping deftly across the lace of her thin panties. Edward let out a low moan when he felt her arousal through the fabric.

"Mmm, well it seems like it's working, Bella, hmm?"

"Hmm…"

Bella felt like a ragdoll, boneless, like jelly. Goosebumps rose on her skin, and her nipples pebbled in response to Edward's touch. Panic tried to creep in, but was quickly replaced by desire, lust and complete abandon as Edward continued to tease her sensitive flesh over her panties.

"Mmm, Edward…that feels…." She couldn't form a sentence, yet she didn't care. This man made her feel so alive, every nerve-ending in her body on fire.

"Hmm, Bella, how does it feel?" Edward was teasing her, goading her to say it out loud.

"Oh, God, Edward… it feels, unngg, so good…" Bella was panting.

"Spread your legs a little more, baby."

Bella complied and Edward wasted no further time. The car was halfway to the top now and he was on a mission. He quickly slipped the thin lace of her panties to the side and plunged two fingers deep inside her, his fingers meeting no resistance as they slid into her sopping wet heat.

"Christ," Edward hissed. "Fucking soaked, Bella."

His fingers continued their teasing, curling, scissoring inside her, the pad of his thumb rubbing over her clit. She whimpered in response, her legs shaking, her nails digging into his arm. The light swaying of the car and the heat of the warm August air only added to heady mix of sensations.

"Please, Edward, I need…"

Edward's movements suddenly halted. Leaving his fingers where they were, he whispered in her ear. "What do you need, Bella?"

Bella huffed; he was teasing her, and she hated that she loved it. She clenched around his fingers, willing him to continue. Her head thrown back, she let out an exasperated sigh. "I need to come, Edward, please!"

"Open your eyes, baby," Edward whispered. They were almost at the top now and he wanted her to see the city view from the car. He wanted her to face her fear and let herself go. He wanted her totally free from all the restrictions she placed on herself.

Startled, Bella opened her eyes. All it took was one touch from Edward and she completely forgot where she was. She'd been so consumed by the lust coursing through her body that she had completely forgotten about being in the Ferris wheel and the bustling city below.

"Shit, Edward," she hissed. "Someone might see us."

Edward's fingers resumed their movement, causing Bella to cry out again.

"Hush," Edward whispered. Bella stared all around her with wide eyes, taking in the view of the city from this height. She shuddered and shook and whimpered under Edward's touch. Landmarks and structures, city lights and boats in the harbour were all a blur to her as pure sensation overwhelmed her.

"No-one will see us, baby," Edward whispered huskily in her ear. They were at the top now and the car had halted, to let someone on at the bottom. His movements became faster, harder, and sharper as he continued in his mission; to get her to let go completely.

"Come on, Bella, tell me how good it feels. Are you gonna come, my pretty girl?" Edwards's words in her ear, his touch, combined with the fear of getting caught, the feeling of doing something naughty was all too much for Bella. She clenched hard around his fingers as she felt her orgasm building.

"Ugh…Edward…feels…so…ugh…" She was a babbling, writhing mess as he clamped his teeth around the bare flesh of her shoulder and sucked hard. His fingers curled deep inside her, hitting that sweet spot that made her knees go weak, and then she was coming, her orgasm washing over her like the tide, relentless like the waves.

She was sure that in that moment she saw heaven.

It was the only way to describe how she felt when she was with Edward this way – the connection, the feeling of being utterly content and completely at home in his arms – she never wanted it to end.

As she came down from her high, she became aware of the car moving again and Edward peppering light kisses over her shoulder. He fixed her panties back into place and massaged one of her trembling legs. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"Wow…look at the view," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"I'll say," he replied with a smirk, purposely not looking out the window, but looking directly at Bella. "Now you'll never forget your first time on the Navy Pier Ferris Wheel. And this won't be the last time either."

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**A/N **

**So here's the longer a/n:**

**Big thank you to whoever has been recommending my story as my email went crazy the past few weeks with follow/favourite alerts! It motivated me to write quicker – when I could get the time!**

**Chapters will be a bit longer, but I estimate around another 4-6 Long-ish chapters until we complete this.**** The rest of the answers are coming soon, but I thought these two deserved a bit of fun and fluff after all the drama! **

**So many people have helped me the past few weeks with this chapter – the girls on the Skype WC's have been really helpful this week! Sparrow and Choc – you girls are an awesome support on Facebook and so good at answering all my silly questions.**

**My pre-reader, Twilightladies and my Beta, ItsEmilyY'all are also absolutely fantastic support and I'd be lost without them.**

**Last but not least thank you EVERYONE who is reading, reviewing and recommending this story. I Flove you all hard. **

**Ps - please please please please please REVIEW! :) **


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight**

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**Thanks so much to my pre-reader, Twilightladies1, and my Beta, ItsEmilyY'all for working their wonderful magic on this chapter. I tweaked a little after, so any mistakes are mine. **

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**Chapter 57**

**The Date – Part 2**

Bella walked barefoot, her high heels in one hand, and Edward's jacket around her shoulders. Her other hand was clasped tightly in his.

They strolled across Navy Pier in their own little bubble, oblivious to everyone else around them as they giggled about their Ferris Wheel experience.

"Edward! Look up there! You can see everything! Anyone could have seen us!" she tried to sound mad at him, but couldn't keep a straight face. Their tryst at the top of the Wheel had left her feeling weightless, without a care in the world.

"Baby." Edward levelled his face with hers, and Bella could feel her cheeks heat at the term of endearment. "Who would see us? No-one else would have a reason to look up there the way you just did. Don't be paranoid," he chuckled.

Bella shrugged in agreement, and they continued walking.

"Who knew Bella Swan was such a naughty girl, hmm?" Edward teased, elbowing her in the ribs.

Bella's cheeks reddened even further at his worlds. She'd never done anything like that before. Yet there was something so freeing about just letting go and giving herself over to her body's most primal urges.

"You make me naughty," she said, squeezing his fingers. "Before I met you I wouldn't have done half the things I do now." Her voice was low, almost shy, and Edward could see her retreating into herself again.

The many facets of this woman continued to amaze - and baffle - him.

"I mean it, Edward. The first night I met you, I took a chance. Before I even realised what I was doing, I was saying yes to you buying me a drink, yes to going home with you. I've never had a one-night stand in my life before. And I'm so glad I took a chance because it brought us here, now, to this moment."

Brown eyes brimmed with tears, while green eyes sparkled with hope as the words tumbled out of Bella's mouth. This man made her a babbling mess. But right now she couldn't find it in herself to care. He had made her bare all her secrets, all her fears, and the things she was ashamed about. He'd made her take risks and do things she wouldn't normally do. The thought should petrify her, and she was always waiting, expecting to feel the panic, the fear, and the reality of rejection.

Yet all she felt was peaceful, content.

_Home._

Edward leaned in and planted light, sweet pecks all over her face, kissing away her tears, the same way he had done the night they first met.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her snug to his chest, pressing a kiss to her hair. She shivered.

"You cold?" he asked.

"Mmm… a little," she tried to suppress a yawn, but failed miserably.

"You tired?" Edward chuckled as Bella's yawn grew wider, and she clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Come on, baby, let's go home."

Bella allowed Edward to take her hand and lead her to the exit, his words resonating within her so deeply. He'd been staying over more and more recently, and it was like he just _fit _in her apartment, in her life.

Edward hailed a cab while Bella pulled on her shoes. As the cab pulled up and her held her door open, all Bella could think was how much she would love for her home to be Edward's home too.

**~x~x~x~x~x**

"_America, watch out! Here comes Colin Frizell, and he's got a big knob!" _

Edward could feel Bella shaking with laughter on top on him, where she lay with her head against his chest, face toward the television.

When they arrived back at her apartment, Bella had kicked off her heels, pulled the pins out of her hair, changed into sweats and a tank top, and snuggled up with Edward on the couch.

When he'd suggested a movie, Bella was surprised to find a copy of _Love Actually _amongst her DVD collection. Assuming it was one that Alice had brought over that they'd never got around to watching, she'd popped it in the DVD player and settled in to snuggle.

"You haven't seen this one?" Edward whispered, his fingers tracing light circles on the flesh of her lower back where her tank top had ridden up.

"Uh-uh. I'm not really the chick-flick type," she said simply. "How come _you_ have?"

"I watched it with Emmett and Rose one Christmas," he replied.

"Third wheel, huh?" There was no teasing in Bella's tone; rather, she knew exactly how it felt. Numerous times she'd been out with Alice and had ended up feeling like she was an unwelcome intrusion while Alice lost herself in conversation with some cute guy in a bar.

"Yeah, I guess," Edward chuckled, his hands moving from her lower back to her butt, and squeezing lightly. "It was the day before Christmas Eve and we were snowed in at Mom and Dad's. I was bored out of my mind. I fell asleep half way through the movie."

"Big family Christmases at your house?" Bella sat up, straddling Edward, and reached for the TV remote, pressing the mute button. Edward's hands gripped Bella's hips, pulling her warm body snug with his lower half.

"Yeah," he said, smiling. "Esme loves the big family get-togethers. She has three sisters, which means a shit-load of nieces and nephews. My cousins are crazy. When we were kids it was like _Home Alone._

"Christmases were small with my mother. It was just the two of us. Quiet. We didn't have much, but she made it fun, when she was sober. So I guess Esme tried to make up for it over the years. Spoiled us rotten," Edward said, a faraway look on his face, as if reliving the memory. "What about you?"

"Honestly? They were pretty shitty. Phil would get drunk and yell at Mom because the Turkey wasn't the way he liked it. When... um, when Mom died, and I moved in with Charlie, it was still shitty - just in a different way. Charlie worked most Christmases. I'd cook and we'd eat late. Some years we went to the diner. Once Jacob and I started dating I spent most Christmases with him and his family down on the reservation."

Edward shifted, his leg falling asleep in his current position. He sat up and scooped Bella into his lap, shaking out his legs. They cocooned together, her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck.

"My last Christmas in Forks – it was the Christmas before I caught Jacob and Leah together – Charlie got sick. He went to the hospital with chest pains. Tests revealed he'd had a mild heart attack. The doctor told him to take it easy, change his diet, and get more exercise. The usual, you know? He did, for about two weeks, before slipping back into his old habits."

They were both silent for a long time. Edward sensed that Bella had more to say. Her grip around his neck had tightened, and he could feel her breathing had sped up.

"The night that I found Jacob and Leah together, I went straight over to Charlie's house. I was hysterical – couldn't string a sentence together. All he got was the words 'Jacob' and 'cheating', and he flew off the handle…" Bella's voice dropped to a whisper.

"I'd never seen him so angry. It was like Phil all over again."

Edward could feel the damp on his shirt; she was crying now. A million scenarios raced through his mind.

"Bella… did he… did he hurt you?"

"No, Edward. Charlie would never hurt me. We weren't that close, but he loved me, you know? He was very protective of me after everything that happened with Phil and Mom." Edward opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "And no, Phil never hurt me either."

"But Charlie went crazy. He started throwing things, screaming about Jacob being no good for me, how he always knew there was something not right about him. He grabbed his gun and marched out the door, ranting about how he was going to make Jacob pay." Bella's voice cracked.

"Shh… Bella, it's ok," he said, kissing her forehead. "Just breathe, baby."

"He didn't even make it to the car. He dropped to his knees in the front yard. His face was a picture of agony, shock. He called out to me, but his voice was cracking, like he couldn't talk properly. He dropped dead right before my eyes – a massive cardiac arrest. There was nothing I could do."

The room was silent again, save for Bella's soft sobs.

"Jesus, Bella." Edward huffed, stroking her hair. "We're a fucked up pair aren't we? You watched both your parents die and I found my mom's dead body." He chuckled humourlessly, letting the tears freely flow from his eyes.

In that moment, Edward didn't care if Bella saw him cry. He just needed to be closer to her. He sat up, swung his legs off the couch to the floor, and stood up, bringing Bella with him in his arms. She was a tiny little thing.

Her sniffles were the only sound as he tiptoed quietly down the hall to her bedroom. He lay her down on the bed, before dropping down beside her and clutching her fingers in his. They lay there, staring at the ceiling.

After a few moments, Bella cleared her throat. "That Christmas, I should have paid more attention. I should have helped Charlie more. I was so focused on work, so self- absorbed in working out, eating right, trying to get pregnant. I was so blind; I couldn't see what was going on right under my nose, both with my father and with Jacob. And then I lost them both, in the same day."

"It's not your fault, Bella."

"I thought it was, for a long time. I blamed myself, the same way I blamed myself for Mom's death for a long time too. In a way, I blamed Jacob for Charlie's death as well. But I'm starting to realise that, sometimes, these things are beyond our control."

"It was fight or flight, and I chose flight, literally. After the funeral, I put Charlie's house up for sale and booked a flight out here. I haven't been back. The agent handled the sale of the house; I didn't have to be there. I needed to get away from Jacob. I couldn't stay around and watch him with Leah, playing happy families."

Edward frowned. "Happy families?"

Bella snorted. "Yeah. He got her pregnant. Way to rub salt in the wound, right?"

"Fuck, Bella. You've been through hell."

She simply nodded.

"You're fucking amazing, Bella." Edward's voice was full of conviction as he rolled on his side, turning to face her.

"Please. There's really nothing amazing about sitting watching your step-dad beat up your mom day in day out and not telling anyone. There's nothing amazing about watching him beat her to death, and just sitting there in silence, too scared to say anything. There's nothing amazing about not being able to get pregnant, and your husband knocking up some other chick. And there's nothing amazing about getting your dad so worked up that he has a heart attack," Bella's voice was raised now; she was frustrated. "FUCK! Don't you see, Edward? I ruin everything!"

Edward snapped. The self-pity, the doubt, the self-loathing in her voice was so clear, and he realized he was sick of it. He launched himself off the bed and paced the length of the room, clutching at his hair in exasperation. "Jesus, Bella, are you listening to yourself?"

Bella sat up on the bed, narrowing her eyes at him, flinching at the sudden volume of his voice. She hadn't expected this reaction from him. She was silent as he halted his pacing and towered over her.

"Edward, I…"

"No, Bella. Let me talk." He lowered his voice and took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to take away from what you've been through. It's been horrible, yes. I can't even imagine _how_ horrible. But you need to deal with it, and start to move on with your life!"

"Edward, it's not that easy –" Her voice was raised now, but he cut her off.

"I didn't say it would be easy, Bella! Fuck, do you think I've had it easy? Yeah, I got lucky with Carlisle and Esme. But I had nightmares for years! I used to wake up crying, just like I've seen you do. I had to go to counselling – I _dealt_ with it Isabella! It was hard, but it was better than living in the past!"

"I went to therapy too, Edward! After my mom died, I…" she trailed off, realizing that it was the only time she been to therapy. It had helped at the time, but she hadn't truly dealt with the demise of her marriage or the loss of her father. Edward must have sensed what she was thinking.

"After your mother died. But then what? You said it yourself, fight or flight, Bella. You ran away!"

Clarity washed over Bella in that moment. Like waves leaving a fresh sheen of sand in their retreat, his words stripped away all of Bella's excuses; she had no argument.

"You're right," she said in a small voice. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"None of what happened was your fault, Bella." Edward's voice was tender now. He kneeled beside the bed and clasped her hands tightly in his. "You're so strong, you don't even realize how much. To have been through all that, and still be standing!" His hands came up to cup her face, and he looked directly into her eyes as he spoke.

Bella tried to pull her head away from his grip, but he only held on tighter, before leaning in, and placing a light, chaste kiss on her lips.

"Listen to me, Bella." _Kiss_. "You." _Kiss_. "Are." _Kiss_. "Amazing." _Kiss_.

"Edward… I'm nothing… I'm ordinary… I'm…"

"No, Bella. I told you. I don't want to hear anymore negative talk. What the fuck? Have you just listened to a word I said?"

It was Bella's turn to pace. She wrenched her hands from his and stalked over to the window. She leaned against the window frame and took several deep breaths. She was frustrated now. How dare he speak to her that way in her own home? Who did he think he was?

She hated that he was right.

Yet she loved him for it.

Warm hands caressed her shoulders; soft lips brushed her neck.

"You're here," he whispered. "You didn't let it break you. Can't you see how awesome that is?

Bella shrugged, dumbfounded by Edward's words, totally unsure how to respond. She still could not understand this man's presence in her life.

The silence stretched out between them once again.

"Hey, Bella?" Edward whispered, pulling her closer, his hands wrapping around her waist. "Let's make this Christmas a good one, hmm? What do you say? You and me?"

A strange sense of relief overwhelmed Bella as she took stock of his words While she knew that what she felt for Edward was something real, something true, something passionate, and something far beyond what she had ever felt for Jacob, she just couldn't see further than today. She had no idea what to hope or wish for in the future, but one thing she was sure of was that she wanted Edward to be part of it.

And whilst he had been persistent, done all the chasing, coaxing, goading; she had still been so unsure of how he really felt.

There was no denying it now.

This was real, for both of them.

She just had no idea how to do this.

When she didn't respond, Edward sighed and continued. "Look, Bella. I already told you I don't do relationships. I'm not proud of my past, all the fucking around. But I want you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I want more than this with you. I want everything with you. I want to know you, inside out. I want to be with you, Bella. Like, really be with you. No more secrets, no more hiding from each other. We're good together, Bella, and you know it."

Edward realised he was rambling. He paused, taking a deep breath.

"I want you to call me yours, Bella. I want to call you mine. I know you might not be ready for this, but I'm selfish. I can't be away from you."

Bella relaxed in his embrace. Edward couldn't see her smile, but he could feel it in the way she molded her body to his.

His voice was timid. "Will you, Bella? Will you be mine?"

Bella rested her head back on his shoulder and placed her hands over his. She linked their fingers together and squeezed tight.

"Yes…" she breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper. She made no effort to conceal the tears running down her cheeks - tears were not new to her – but these tear were happy tears, a totally foreign concept. She smiled at the revelation. "Yes, Edward. I'm yours."

* * *

**Swoon! **

**They are all official now! **

**Sorry about the wait, folks. RL and all that. **

**Thanks so much to everyone who is reading, reviewing and rec'ing this story! **

**From now on, updates will be once a week, on Mondays or Tuesdays. I estimate another 4-5 chapters. **

**I would love to hear your thoughts! mwah xx **


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

_**September**_

September brought a mild chill to the air, the leaves slowly changing colour. Lime, emerald and chartreuse were slowly replaced by rustic yellows, ambers and browns. Staring out of her office window overlooking the park, Bella smiled; despite the cold outside she felt warm and fuzzy on the inside.

She wanted to cringe at herself for being so sappy, but couldn't find it in herself to care.

September also brought Bella's birthday. Edward had surprised her with a weekend getaway. He'd shown up at her office building on the Friday afternoon, looking every inch the model with his Ray-Bans, ripped Levis and fitted black t-shirt. The girl at the front desk was sufficiently dazzled.

Edward had refused to reveal the location of her surprise, and when Bella protested that she hadn't even packed a bag, Edward smirked and popped the trunk of his car, revealing Bella's weekend bag that he'd packed after she'd left for work that morning.

She had been mad at first, and huffed for the first half hour of the car journey. She hated birthdays, never really caring for fuss or presents, and least of all getting another year older.

She had even neglected to tell Edward when her birthday was, but of course he had known from studying every little detail of her driver's license that first morning after.

When they'd arrived at their destination, Bella's indignation quickly morphed into surprise, and the familiar warm fuzzy feeling that she'd begun to enjoy so much had flooded through her again.

Eagle Ridge Resort and Spa, just a few hours drive from the city, was resplendent. The lush country landscape spanned for miles, the brilliant green of the golf course perfectly complimenting the deep azure of the river that surrounded the resort.

A hot-air balloon ride, couples' massage, and horseback riding were just a few of the treats Edward had in store for his birthday girl.

Edward had surprised her further by presenting her with duck egg blue gift bag during dinner on the first night. Bella's heart dropped to her knees when she saw the _Tiffany & Co _logo, and she immediately protested that it was too much. Edward merely reminded her that she was his now, and as such she'd better get used to being spoiled.

Bella was speechless at the white gold charm bracelet, complete with a love heart shaped charm, encrusted with tiny white diamonds.

Everyone at work had gushed over the shiny bauble that adorned her wrist.

Bella loved it really.

_**October**_

Fall brought rain, hard and fast. It pelted off the sidewalk, bubbles forming and bouncing up, hitting Bella in the legs as she dashed to her appointment uptown. She'd taken the L, foregoing her car for today. She really hated driving in the rain.

Her power suit was slightly dressed down with her running shoes to aide her hurried journey. A polka dot rain mac and large golf umbrella shielded her body from the relentless downpour as Bella jogged the last block. She found herself panting for breath, and, despite the chill in the air, she could feel her cheeks warm and clammy from the exertion. Having foregone her daily runs in favour of spending time with her boyfriend or catching up on work, she wasn't as fit as she used to be.

_Boyfriend._

She smiled inwardly to herself as she recounted the last several weeks in her head. There had been ups and downs, Bella still had her moments of insecurity, but she was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea that Edward was in her life to stay.

As she entered the building, she flew past reception with a quick smile to the receptionist who was talking animatedly into her headpiece with flailing hands. Dashing to the elevator just in time before the doors closed, she threw herself in and pressed the button for her floor. She took a moment to collect herself before her appointment.

Exiting the elevator, she walked down the light, white corridor and immediately found a sense of calm wash over her. This was her fourth therapy session now and already she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Baring her soul to Edward was one thing, but talking things through with a professional had been so freeing.

The office door bustled open, and a mass of tangled red hair popped around the door.

"Ready, Bella?" Dr Victoria Graham was a tall woman, towering over Bella's petite 5' 4" frame. At their first meeting, Bella had immediately felt intimidated by her presence, a fear that was squashed as soon as Victoria had opened her mouth. A soothing, tinkling, almost child-like voice accompanied her words, and put Bella immediately at ease.

Bella smiled, rising from her chair and walking towards the door that Victoria held open.

Things were definitely looking up.

_**November**_

"So I finally ended things with James." Alice looked morose, almost sulking into her peppermint latte. Bella's head snapped up, her hand immediately freezing where she had been stirring her own drink.

"You did?" Bella tried not to sound too excited; Alice was clearly upset by this latest development.

"Yep." Alice's head was still down, and Bella was already impatient from Alice's one-word answer.

"And?" Bella probed.

"And… nothing. He's a douche, like you said all along. I caught him practically dry- humping Bree from Corporate in the break room."

Bella reached over and rested her hand on top of Alice's. "I'm sorry, Ali." She squeezed Alice's hand in what she hoped was a soothing gesture.

"Whatever, you know? We weren't exclusive. We weren't even dating, you know? Just sleeping together. I guess the difference was I wasn't sleeping with anyone else, and he was," she remarked bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Alice. That sucks. But you can do so much better than him,"

"I know, right?" Alice smiled, though her tone of voice was less than convincing. "So how are things with loverboy?"

"I love how you deflected there, Al," Bella said with a smirk. "Things with Edward are great. But back to you – how do you really feel about this?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Bella, really. I think I was forcing something that just wasn't there with James. Tick tock tick tock and all that!" she said with a chuckle.

Bella nodded, understand exactly what Alice meant. Alice was four years Bella's senior, and desperately broody. She was ready to settle down, get married and have babies, and worried that her biological clock was starting to tick too fast.

"Does Edward have any hot single friends?" Alice asked, only half joking.

Realisation dawned on Bella, and she could have slapped herself for not seeing it before. She'd met Edward's best friend, Jasper, several times now when picking Edward up from work, and Edward had taken her to see Jasper's band play at a local gig.

Bella had found Jasper to be charming, funny and of course an extremely talented musician. If she were not so smitten with Edward, Bella would definitely have found Jasper attractive.

"Actually, Alice, he does." Bella replied with a huge grin.

_**December**_

Rained blended into snow as the traditional Chicago winter set in. Rain coats and umbrellas were traded for wool coats, hats and snow boots. Bella had given up her outdoor runs altogether, and instead of going to the gym like she normally did in the winter, she merely found she had to make do with just her bedroom workouts with Edward.

Such a hardship.

She was surprised at the level of desire she still felt for Edward. With Jacob, she had very quickly slipped into comfort mode, the attraction waning after a few months and her desire to be intimate with him almost non-existent. She thought it was normal for the spark to fizzle out eventually. She realised now, being with Edward, that there had really been no spark there at all with Jacob.

She knew it wasn't wise to compare the two men, and really, there was no comparison. The desire, passion, and sheer lust she felt for Edward was on another level, completely transcending anything she had ever thought herself capable of feeling.

She just couldn't get enough of him. She craved him; she was hungry, needy and crazy for him.

Thanksgiving had passed in a blur of Turkey, laughter and parties, Bella having spent the holiday with Alice and her family, as was her tradition since moving to Chicago. This time the girls had invited Edward and Jasper along for the ride.

Alice and Jasper had hit it off instantly when Bella had plotted with Edward to set the pair up on a blind date. When Bella suggested it, Edward had reacted in exactly the same way that Bella had when Alice had asked if Edward had any single friends.

"Jeez, those two would be perfect together," he'd chuckled. "Why didn't we think of it before?"

Alice and Jasper were indeed perfect together, and had spent what seemed like every waking moment joined at the hip since they'd met. Bella couldn't contain her excitement at the revelation, and looked forward to doing all the things she had missed out on as a teenager, and later in her relationship with Jacob: double dates, gushing about boys with her best friend, and trips away together with the other couple.

Bella reveled in the warm buzz she felt when she reflected on how her life had turned around in recent months. A small feeling inside niggled at her, as if she should be waiting for the other shoe to drop – waiting for it all to go wrong. But she pushed away, and decided to live in the moment, enjoying each day for what it was.

If things went wrong tomorrow, she would deal with it then.

However, Christmas approached quickly, filling Bella with a sense of unease. She had recalled her conversation with Edward just a few months prior – how he had promised that they would make this Christmas a good one. Edward had yet to confirm any plans with her, and she was unsure as to how she was spending the holiday. She also had no idea what to buy Edward for Christmas, puzzled as to what to buy for a guy who seemingly had everything. She was also afraid that there was no way she could have topped his birthday gifts to her.

She broached the subject tentatively with him, and Edward had insisted he didn't need a Christmas gift.

"Just having you in my life is enough of a gift, Bella," he said, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms on his rooftop balcony, a fluffy blanket protecting them from the biting winter chill. It had stopped snowing that night, so they'd crept out to enjoy the view of Chicago's winter wonderland.

Bella's formerly cynical nature would have scoffed at his gushy words, but she found that warm and fuzzy feeling deep inside her quickly transform into a raging furnace.

He just always said exactly the right thing.

"So…what are you doing for Christmas?" she hedged. He chuckled and pulled her closer, rubbing the goose-bumped skin of her lower back with his hands. The sensation caused her breathing to increase in tempo, and her cheeks to heat despite the chill.

"I told you, Bella. We'll make it a good one. You and me." He kissed her lightly on the mouth. "Why? You made other plans?"

"No… I… I just wasn't sure what the plans were. I remember you telling me about your crazy family Christmases. I wasn't sure if that's what we were doing."

"We can do anything you want, baby. If you want to meet my family for the first time on Christmas day, that's fine, as long as you're prepared for the Spanish Inquisition from my three aunts and four hundred cousins."

Bella laughed nervously. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that…"

"I didn't think you would be," Edward said, his hand moving from her lower back to lightly graze the ample flesh of her ass. "I already called my mom. She said we're very welcome, but she understands if you don't want to."

"I…I don't want to drag you away from your family on Christmas…" Bella looked away from him, staring out over the Chicago skyline.

Edward's hand halted in its path and came up to cup her cheek, gently turning her head towards him again.

"Bella. I want to spend Christmas with you. Whether that's with my family, or here, just the two of us, it doesn't matter to me. We can go away for a few days. I'll take you to New York. I'll take you to Florida. You want a warm Christmas? I'll take you to Arizona. I don't care, baby, as long as we're together."

"Okay, Edward. As long as we're together."

**~x~x~x~x**

"Jeez, I know you warned me it was crazy, but that was something else!" Bella chuckled as she flopped down on the bed in Edward's teenage room.

"Hate to say I told you so, B." Edward smirked as he pulled off his t-shirt, and dropped his jeans to the floor. Clad in just black boxers, he slipped under the covers and curled into Bella's side.

After much deliberation, Bella had decided to accept Edward's invitation to spend Christmas with his family. While the thought of meeting his parents intimidated her, she decided it was as good a time as any. She had always wondered what it would be like to spend Christmas with a big crowd of people, and found herself excited to be part of a full house.

As it turned out, Bella had nothing to be scared of. Esme and Carlisle had welcomed her with open arms and she immediately found herself at ease in their presence. Edward's brother, Emmett, and sister-in-law, Rosalie, were the sweetest people she had ever met, even though she did freeze up when Rosalie had squeezed Bella's cheeks and made a remark about what cute babies she and Edward would make some day.

"What's got you so quiet, baby?" Edward whispered in her ear as he ran one finger up and down her arm. She shuddered under his tender touch.

"I'm just thinking about what your sister said."

"Rosalie? She's a chatterbox for sure. What'd she say about me?"

"She mentioned..."

"What?" Edward coaxed when Bella trailed off. "Was she telling embarrassing stories about me?"

"She said..." Bella trailed off again, releasing a breathy, nervous laugh. She cleared her throat before continuing. "She said we'd make cute babies."

Edward rolled Bella closer and she turned to face him. He slid his hands underneath her back and cupped her shoulders, legs half draped over hers. Their eyes met and he smiled. "Of course we would."

"You... you think about that? About babies? About the future?"

"Of course I do, Bella." Edward placed a light kiss on her forehead, then her nose. He smiled even wider.

"And... um, what do you think about it?"

"I think it's early days, so not yet, but someday... I want all that with you, Bella. I'm all in with this, baby."

Bella's heart raced. Her breath caught in her throat as she grasped Edward's hair with her fingers and kissed him hard. She poured all the affection, passion, and desire she felt for him into the kiss, her way of showing what she couldn't quite say just yet.

Edward pulled back, panting, gazing into Bella's eyes. "Bella..."

"Edward. I want all that too. With you. But I'm scared. What if I can't?"

Edward was perplexed. "What if you can't what?"

Bella turned her head away, unable to meet his eyes. If this was a deal-breaker for him, she didn't want to see the rejection or pity in his eyes.

"Jacob and I tried for over a year, Edward. What if there's something wrong with me?"

Edward flinched at the mention of that asshole's name. He rolled over and flopped on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Why is it always you, Bella? Something's wrong, you automatically think it's your fault." Edward's tone was even, but Bella could tell he was trying to remain calm. "Did it occur to you that something was wrong with him?"

"He got Leah pregnant, didn't he?" Bella snapped, dumbfounded that this conversation had somehow turned into a fight.

Edward opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again when he realised he had no argument.

They were both silent for a beat too long. Edward sighed, exasperated; he thought they were past the awkward silences.

"Look, I'm no expert, but sometimes it can take that long. Emmett and Rosalie tried for a year before she got pregnant with Joshua." Edward smiled, remembering the two year olds excitement at opening his Christmas presents earlier that day.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Bella." He turned to face her again and pulled her into his arms, so they were both lying on their side, facing each other. She sighed.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Edward."

"It's okay, baby. I'm sorry too." He grasped her hips, bringing her body flush with his. "Now enough serious talk," he said as he ground his hips into hers, his hard length pressing into her abdomen. "Besides, I still need to give you the rest of your Christmas present... "

**~x~x~x~x**

"Some party, man," Jasper said, chugging down the last of his champagne before grabbing another glass from the nearby table. He fiddled with his tie, loosening the top button of his shirt. "Although I can't wait to get out of this suit."

"I hear you, Jasper." Edward chuckled and downed the last of his Coke, his eyes scanning the room for Bella.

When Bella had mentioned her work New Year's Eve party, Edward had jumped at the chance to meet Bella's work associates. Whilst they spent as much time together as possible since their relationship had become exclusive, there had been many nights that Edward had dozed off on the couch while Bella continued to work on one deposition or another. He admired her dedication to her job and the passion with which she spoke about it. She held her boss in high regard, and Edward was keen to meet the man made Bella strive for excellence.

The party was formal - black tie - and held in one of the stunning banquet rooms in the Drake Hotel. Bella had surprised Edward by booking a suite for the night, telling him it was her turn to treat him.

Alice and Jasper had also booked a room, and the girls had spent the afternoon getting ready, while he and Jasper sat in the hotel bar and caught up on each other's Christmases.

Edward had been speechless when he returned to his suite to shower and get ready. Bella was absolutely sublime. She wore a black, floor length dress, adorned with silver and black sequins that sparkled in the clear light of the room. The dress was halter neck, showing off the beautiful shape of her shoulders that Edward loved so much. It showed off just a hint of cleavage, which Edward was relieved by; he already had enough trouble controlling himself around Bella.

When she'd done a full twirl, the skin of her back exposed right down to the dimples in her lower back, he attacked her there and then, pinning her against the wall and devouring her neck with his teeth.

Bella had resisted his advances, screeching about him ruining her make up. The last thing she wanted was to arrive at a formal dinner with her partners looking dishevelled and freshly fucked.

Edward spotted his girl across the room, talking and laughing with Alice, another mousey looking girl with glasses, and two older men. Maybe one of these guys was her boss.

He studied her, watching her interact with the people around her. She had a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there when they first met, and her wide toothy smile was genuine, not forced, as he had seen so many times when they'd first been together. There was something about her posture and the way she held herself, as if she no longer carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She stood tall, confident and bold, as if she was ready to take on the world.

He watched as she made her way across the room to him. The sway of her round hips made his mouth water, her dress clinging to every curve and dip of her body. When they'd first met, she'd been a little on the skinny side compared to his usual tastes, and although it hadn't bothered him at the time, he was more than satisfied with her body now that she gained some weight. He wasn't sure if she was aware of it, it wasn't something that they discussed given her history with Jacob. Edward never wanted Bella to feel like she had to look a certain way for him.

He loved her the way she was.

In the time that they had been together, Bella had become less strict with her diet and exercise regime, and in the process had probably gained ten to fifteen pounds, all going straight to her ass and boobs. The result was a curvy, hourglass figure - ample flesh for Edward to dig his fingers into while they made love. He couldn't be more thrilled.

Bella's voice interrupted Edward's musings. "Edward? I'd like you to meet my boss, Tony Masen."

_**January**_

The snow continued to fall, thick and heavy over the city. It was the coldest winter on record, and in late January a blizzard hit, causing chaos across the city. Schools and businesses closed, and Bella was forced to take time off work. Edward was supposed to leave on business to L.A, but flights from O'Hare had been grounded until the weather improved. The city was normally well-equipped to deal with the snow, but this was much worse than usual.

Finding themselves stuck indoors, Bella and Edward spent most of their time in bed, snuggled under fluffy blankets to keep warm, watching DVD's, making love, and learning more about each other; falling deeper every day.

While either of them had yet to utter those three little words, there was no denying it for either of them. This was real - and it was love.

Edward had spent most nights at Bella's since Thanksgiving. While they hadn't broached the subject of living together, Edward had his own closet space in Bella's room and all his bathroom essentials in the cabinet. It had just naturally occurred over time, and had felt so right, that neither had felt it necessary to address the issue.

Bella was mostly content with the pace at which things were moving in her relationship with Edward. Everything seemed perfect, but experience had taught her that the good things would be taken away sooner or later. She could feel it, the warning tingle in the back of her mind, like a whispering shadow telling her not to get too comfortable.

No matter how much she tried to push it away, it continued to taunt her. She felt like she was going on a trip, and had checked everything off her list, but she just knew in the back of her mind that she had forgotten something.

The answer had been on her mind for several weeks now, and when she'd confided her fears in her therapist in her first session of the new year, Victoria's suggestion only confirmed what Bella already knew she had to do.

She'd kept it quiet from Edward at first, but decided that the time was right to bring up the subject.

"Edward?" she whispered in the dark late that night, unsure if he was sleeping.

"Mmm?"

"Are you sleeping?"

"Not anymore," he chuckled, and rolled over to face her. "What's up?"

"Would you go on a trip with me?"

"You woke me up just as I was dropping off to sleep to ask me that?" Edward rolled his eyes playfully. "You know I'll go anywhere with you, Bella. Where do you want to go?"

"I want to go for Forks, Edward. I need to see Jacob."

* * *

**A/N **

**I'm a fail at updating when I say I will. We were all real sick last week. **

**A different chapter this time, a collection of drabbles, if you will. There is a reason for it, rather than having a huge time jump. The timing has to be right for the next chapter. The contents of the next chapter have been in my head from day one - but I don't want to rush it out. I know a lot of you have been waiting patiently for it ;)**

**I would like to thank my pre-reader Twilightladies1 and my beta ItsEmilyY'all for their wonderful support and help. flove you girls hard. **

**Whisperingwolf, twilightladies1, lellabeth, everydaybella, AngelyCdevil, Geekchic12 and anyone else i forgot to mention (sorry) from our Skype Writing group - i flove you girls hard - such fun and inspiration and motivation. you really do help me through, especially when i was ready to give up on this chapter at 1am. **

**I would like to thank everyone who continues to read, review and rec this story - I keep getting lots email alerts for new followers/favourites. Thank you so much! **

**Would love to hear your thoughts/theories on the chapter? **

**Until next time xxxx **


	59. Chapter 59

**Thanks to my pre-reader Twilightladies and my Beta Emsuckle**

**I tinkered before posting so any mistakes are mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 59**

* * *

The biting chill of the February air nipped at Bella's ears. Dull smog loomed overhead, snowflakes fluttering onto soft muddy ground, where earlier snow had already thawed, leaving a slushy, squelchy mess underfoot.

The weight of her task settled heavily in her stomach as she made her way across the uneven terrain, weaving through the headstones with purpose. Headstones that stood like strongholds, looming over Bella, trying to taunt her.

Reminding her of the searing pain of loss.

The death of her mother.

The death of her father.

The death of her marriage.

A day that was marked the world over by hearts and flowers, champagne and strawberries, declarations and proposals—February 14th – was not a day that Bella Swan remembered with fondness.

It was the anniversary of her father's death. Four years since she had fled Forks, four years since her entire life had crumbled around her in a mess of heartbreak, grief and shock. Jacob and Leah attending her father's funeral had been the proverbial salt in the wound, and Bella wanted to be anywhere but Forks.

She had never really taken the time to say a final goodbye to Charlie, or really grieve his death. As soon as her plane had landed in Chicago, the hard as nails façade was firmly in place. She stalked into the city like a panther searching for prey, desperate for everything and nothing all at once. Anything to distract. The pain was too much to bear and she knew it would destroy her if she ever allowed herself to feel even the slightest bit of it. She focused on the need for blood—at least in the metaphorical sense. It was her job as a lawyer that allowed her to focus her anger and rage much like a boxer in the ring.

Getting through work each day like a robot, and then drinking each night away.

Why had it taken her this long to realize how pathetic this path she had carved out for herself was?

Her sessions with Victoria, her developing relationship with Edward, and the constant good-natured nagging from Alice had slowly chipped away at the icy façade Bella had kept up.

A trip to Forks would be her final step in moving on and putting the past behind her.

"_What the hell do you need to see that asshole for?" _

Bella winced as she recalled Edward's words when she had suggested it. The words had come tumbling out without really thinking about them. She could not have predicted Edward's reaction, but in hindsight, she should have known better.

Every time she mentioned her ex-husband's name in front of Edward, he transformed before her very eyes. He changed from a sweet, sensitive, caring man, to one who looked ready to commit murder. Edward's beautiful face contorted into an ugly scowl, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed together in anger.

It wasn't that Victoria had suggested she go see _Jacob._

It had simply been a suggestion that she go visit her father's grave, say her goodbyes for real, and close that chapter of her life. The guilt and self-blame she felt at being the indirect cause of her father's death had eaten away at her, but Victoria had slowly brought her round to the idea that none of it had been her fault.

But Bella also saw it as an opportunity to see Jacob. Four years without any contact with him, any explanation or understanding of how their marriage had crumbled so badly, had eaten away at Bella, another thing she blamed herself for. Again, with Victoria's help, Bella had come to realize that no matter how much she could have done differently as his wife, Jacob probably still would have cheated on her.

Some people cheat, some people don't.

Throughout the four long years on her own, she had come to realize that she and Jacob were never really right for each other. There had always been something _missing _in their relationship, and now that she was with Edward there was no way that anything she'd had with Jacob could ever compare to the connection she felt with Edward. Bella realized, in hindsight, that towards the end of her relationship with Jacob, the dynamic had been more like that of brother and sister.

She no longer loved Jacob Black.

She also no longer hated Jacob Black.

She forgave him.

And she needed _him_ to know that. Forgiveness wasn't for him. No one _deserves_ forgiveness. People like Jacob and Leah do heartless, selfish things, disregarding other people's feelings. They make excuses for their behaviour, try to justify with pretty lines and fake apologies. They plead forgiveness and say they are sorry, but usually they are only sorry they get caught.

But forgiveness was for Bella. She could no longer allow the consequences of Jacob's actions to rule her life. By forgiving him, she was setting herself free from the hold that Jacob's infidelity had placed around her heart.

Bella approached the newer section of the cemetery, and her eyes stung with tears as the headstone reading _"Charles Swan" _came into sight.

Burying her hands deep in the pockets of her wool coat, she came to a stop at her father's grave, a small sad smile gracing her lips.

"Hi, Daddy," she whispered, as the tears tumbled down her face.

~x~X~x

Edward hung back in the distance, watching Bella from afar. She'd asked him to wait in the car, but he had a strange sense that she might need him close.

To say he was pissed to be here in Forks, on Valentine's Day, was an understatement. Edward knew it was the anniversary of Bella's father's death, and the anniversary of her marriage breaking down, so, in an effort to create new, happier memories for the date, and take her mind off it, he had planned a romantic weekend getaway to Paris. He had planned to pamper and spoil Bella in a similar fashion to that of her birthday weekend, as well as telling her his true feelings.

When he'd seen the determination in her eyes at the mention of the trip to Forks, his heart sank. He knew this was important to her, but he couldn't help but be a little irked that his plans were ruined. Of course he mentioned nothing of the weekend away, knowing he'd be able to re-schedule it for another time.

He'd do _anything_ for this girl, despite the fact that he really _hated_ the idea of her seeing her ex-husband.

The sound of his name set Edward's teeth on edge and made his fist clench like a boxer ready to fight. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to control his temper if he saw Jacob. He frowned, remembering the harsh words he and Bella had exchanged when she'd mentioned the trip.

"What the hell do you need to see that asshole for?" he said, jumping out of bed and clutching at his hair, in a wild attempt to resist the urge to punch the bedroom wall.

"_Edward, I—" _

"_No, Bella! What the fuck? He fucking cheated on you! He lied to you for God knows how long and then tried to blame you for his fucking around! What the hell could you possibly have to say to him? Why, after all this time?" He was yelling now, and pacing the room, refusing to look at her. The rage bubbled deep in the pit of his stomach like a volcano, threatening to erupt and destroy anyone in its path. _

"_Do you still have feelings for him? Is that it?"_

_Bella's head snapped up and her face changed instantly from one of confusion to one of utter horror. _

"_No, Edward! How can you think that? I'm with you now." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm yours—aren't I?"_

"_I don't know, Bella. You tell me." He shrugged and leaned against the dresser and crossed his arms, levelling his stare with hers. _

_Bella climbed out of the bed and approached him slowly until they were inches apart. _

"_Edward. I need to say a real goodbye to my father, and there are some things I need to say to Jacob. I don't expect you to like it, or even understand why, but this is important to me. I'm yours, Edward." Bella slowly reached up and rested her hands on Edward's shoulders. _

"_Mine," he rasped._

"_Yes, Edward. I'm yours. But I need your support. I need you with me."_

"_Mine," he whispered again, his voice heavy with need. _

"_Edward… where is this reaction coming from?" Bella gasped when Edward's hands came firmly around her waist, pulling her close to him. He dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. _

"_I…." _

_Realization dawned on Bella. The harsh words, the manic look in his eyes. The way his fingers dug into her lower back, urgently, almost possessively. _

"_Edward… are you… jealous?" There was no hint of a tease in her voice as she uttered words she never expected to say to any man. _

_Edward's hands moved from her lower back to cup her ass as he pulled her impossibly closer, his eyes boring into hers. _

"_Yes, Bella. I have no shame in admitting that I'm a jealous fucker. I hate that you were with him. I hate that he had you first. I hate what he did to you and hate how much you suffered for it."_

"_Edward, I—" He cut her off with a finger to her lips. He hadn't planned it this way, but he was suddenly overcome with an urgent need to say it. She needed to know how he really felt. _

"_Bella." He paused, and took a deep breath. "I love you, Bella. I'm crazy, madly, stupidly, hopelessly, possessively, jealously in love with you." _

_Bella gasped at the declaration and her eyes shone with tears. "Edward…"_

"_It's okay, Bella. Don't say anything right now. I just had to say it. You needed to know."_

_She didn't say anything, instead she grasped his head in her hands and kissed him fiercely, hungrily, until they both broke away panting for air. _

"_You… you love me?" she whispered, her eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. _

"_I love you, Bella. More than anything."_

Edward smiled as he remembered how Bella had pulled him to the bedroom floor and straddled him, grinding against him, raining desperate kisses all over his face and

chest, tears streaming from her eyes.

He'd let her take control, and they'd made frantic, desperate love right there on her bedroom floor. She'd taken him deep in her mouth, humming around him and sucking desperately like she couldn't get enough of him, before climbing back up his body and sinking down deeply on him. Edward had lain there, completely at her mercy as she writhed and bucked and ground herself on top of him, digging her nails into his chest and screaming his name as she brought them both to a blinding climax.

He knew it was her way of showing him what she wasn't ready to say yet, and he was okay with that.

Best time ever.

It wasn't how he'd planned to tell Bella he loved her, but in that moment the words had tumbled out in a desperate need to bear his heart to her. He was desperate for her to know how he really felt and couldn't hold back any longer.

If Bella was going to Forks to see her ex-husband, she was going with the knowledge that Edward was madly in love with her, and that he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Now, as he watched her stand before her father's grave, his heart was heavy for her. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and hold her close, but she'd asked him to stay away. He could understand that she needed this time alone with her father.

Edward's eyes narrowed as a tall figure approached the area where Bella was standing. At first, Edward assumed it to be another mourner visiting a different grave, but when the person stopped at Charlie Swan's grave and stood just a few yards behind Bella, Edward was on high alert.

The figure was male, with short black hair and russet-coloured skin. This must be Jacob Black. Edward had never seen a photograph, but he could tell from Bella's description. It was hard to tell from the layers he wore to shield the cold, but he seemed a little on the skinny side, and not at all the muscle-bound steroid junkie that he had envisioned.

He watched the scene unfold before him. The asshole laid his hand on Bella's shoulder and she jumped, obviously startled by the intrusion. Edward saw Bella's eyes widen in surprise, and she shrugged Jacob's hand off her shoulder.

Edward hung back, nostrils flaring, barely resisting the urge to stomp up there and sink his fist into Jacob's face. He knew it wouldn't score any "boyfriend of the year" awards with Bella, and he figured if she wanted to talk to him, now would be as good a time as any.

~x~X~x

"Jacob! What are _you _doing here?" Bella yelped. Her stomach was somewhere in her shoes, her heart pounding with the speed of a freight train as she fought to regain her ice cold composure.

She'd been pouring her heart out to Charlie, telling him how much she missed him, how much she loved him, telling him all about her life and Edward and Alice. She had cried oceans of tears, and when she heard someone approaching, she'd wiped her face in an attempt to hide her tears from Edward.

But it wasn't Edward.

For the first time in four years, she was face to face with her ex-husband.

And she felt completely devoid of anything.

She hadn't been sure what to expect when she saw Jacob, and apart from the initial shock of him being here, she was surprised at how little his presence was affecting her.

She surveyed him with wide eyes and briefly wondered if she'd been drunk their entire relationship.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated.

Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded towards Charlie's grave. "I come here every year, Bella.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"

"He was my father's best friend, Bella. Your father, and my father-in-law. He was like an uncle to me, Bella. There isn't a day goes by that I don't miss him, don't think about him, and don't feel guilty about his death."

"Jacob—"

"You look good." Jacob cut her off. Bella scoffed at his audacity. "I mean, you look well, Bella. Are you well? Are you happy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you care? You never cared before."

Silence filled the air for a beat too long, and when Bella opened her mouth to speak, Jacob cut her off again.

"I know it seemed that way, Bella. There's no excuse for what I did, or for how I treated you. Leah and I—"

Nausea rolled through Bella's stomach. It was her turn to cut him off. "Spare me the gory details, Jacob. I saw it with my own eyes."

Jacob winced and looked away again, the tips of his ears burning under her scrutiny.

"I… I'm sorry you had to see that, Bella. You shouldn't have found out that way. It shouldn't have happened that way… me and you… we were…"

"I don't care, Jacob! I don't wanna hear your excuses or justifications. I don't want to hear it. It doesn't matter anymore…" Bella trailed off with a sob, mortified that she was allowing Jacob to see her cry. She realised the truth in her words—it didn't matter. Having come here to seek answers, she realized now as he stood before her that she no longer cared to know why things had gone the way they had.

It was in the past.

Her tears weren't for Jacob. Her tears were for Charlie and Renee. Her tears were for Elizabeth Platt. For Edward, who knew what it was like to lose a parent too soon.

Most of all, her tears were for all the time she had wasted.

"Jacob," she rasped, before clearing her throat. "I came here to say goodbye to Charlie. And say goodbye to you, Jacob. I want you to know that I forgive you. And I've moved on with my life. I'm happy now." She thought of Edward, the beautiful, sweet, sexy man she'd left in the car. The man who _loved _her, who showed her every day what she meant to him.

"Bella. I don't deserve your forgiveness." Jacob reached out to touch her shoulder again, and Bella was surprised to find that she didn't flinch away as she had before.

"That's right, Jacob. You don't. What you did was inexcusable and I didn't deserve that. No one does," she said. "But it's time for to move on with my life. And I need to forgive you to do that."

Their eyes locked for a split second before Jacob's eyes fell to the ground again.

Jacob's voice was small. "Bella… You'll never know how sorry I am for everything."

"You said that, already, Jacob. It's done. It's over with." Bella was surprised at her own apathy. She wasn't sure when the shift had taken place, but suddenly her reasons for coming here to see Jacob didn't seem important at all. She thought of Edward waiting for her and realised she was done here, and took a step away from Jacob.

"Goodbye, Jacob."

"Bella, wait!" Jacob's voice was louder now, and full of urgency. A strong, firm hand wrapped around Bella's wrist and pulled her back, a gasp falling from her mouth as she took in the incredibly sad tinge to Jacob's eyes.

"There are some things I need to tell you, Bella."

"Jacob, let go. You're hurting me!" Bella twisted her arm away from Jacob's grip, wincing when he only held on tighter. "Jacob, please. Let me go. Let me move on. Go be with your family."

"Bella, please," he whispered desperately. "There's something you need to know."

Bella stopped struggling when she heard the sad desperation in Jacob's voice.

"What?" she said softly.

"Leah and I… it hasn't been perfect, Bella. Little Jared was unexpected, and it put a lot of strain on our relationship." Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes. Why was he telling her this?

"We fought a lot, but we worked through our issues. After a while, we decided to have another baby. We got married once the divorce came through. Life seemed pretty perfect…"

"Get to the point, Jacob." Bella gritted her teeth.

"After about a year of trying for another baby, still nothing happened. Leah had some complications during Jared's birth, so we decided to have her checked out. There was nothing wrong with _her."_

Bella did not miss the emphasis. A chill crept through her bones as she tried to process what Jacob was saying.

"Doc decided to rule out all possibilities, so he had me checked out as well," Jacob huffed out a breath. "Turns out I'm firing blanks, Bella. I can't have children."

"But… Jared?" Bella understood the insinuation, but she wanted to hear Jacob say it. A small part of her wanted to laugh in his face, but she knew couldn't bring herself to be so heartless.

"Jared is… not mine. Leah confessed everything. When I was cheating on you, she was cheating on me."

Memories swirled through Bella's mind as she remembered all the times she had berated herself for not being able to give Jacob a child.

All the times she had wondered over the years if she would ever be a mother.

She remembered Edward's words to her at Christmas, when he had suggested that nothing was wrong with Bella, and that the problem may have been Jacob all along.

She remembered how much it scared her that Edward seemed to want it all with her, but that she was terrified he would leave her if she couldn't give him children.

She felt the laughter bubble up in her chest and stifled a giggle. Bella wanted to kick herself. She had been so, so stupid to let herself be ruled by the actions and choices of others for so long. She had wasted so much time.

And all the while, little did she know that Jacob Black was paying the consequences of his actions.

Bella no longer had to.

"Karma's a bitch, Jacob."

Jacob's draw dropped. Bella realized he hadn't been expecting her reaction. Did he really expect her to put her arms around him in a sympathetic hug? Did he want bullshit words and comforting gestures?

"Goodbye, Jacob," she said, more firmly this time, and turned, her head held high, back toward the car again.

The smile that stretched across her face quickly diminished when she felt Jacob's hands on her again. Rough, more forceful this time, both hands landed on her shoulders and forced her to turn back to him. He was right in her face, a thunderous expression marring his.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me, Bella Black!"

"Jacob! I am NOT your wife anymore! You lost the right to call me that when I found you—"

Bella couldn't finish her sentence because suddenly a different pair of hands were on her. Strong, warm hands, that were familiar and firm around her waist as they lifted her off her feet and pushed her towards the car.

Everything happened fast. She'd barely been able to process that Edward had got out of the car before she heard the sickening thwack of his fist connecting with Jacob's jaw. The look of utter fury on Edward's face terrified her, and suddenly she was twelve years old again, watching her mother being beaten to death.

She slumped against the car, her knees giving out under her, and she dropped to the ground. It was like a train wreck; sickening, but she was unable to look away as the man she loved repeatedly punched and hit the man she used to love.

Bella was aware that the two men were shouting at each other, but she could barely make out their words. Edward was screaming something about Jacob touching "his girl" while Jacob was shouting expletives and trying to defend himself. They were a mess of swinging arms and ducking heads, each one determined to get the better of the other. Blood poured out of Jacob's nose; Edward's lip was swollen where Jacob had got in a hit of his own.

Bella watched in awe. Edward was like an animal possessed, his eyes feral and tenacious as his fist made contact with Jacob's gut. Jacob let out a low groan and clutched his hands to his sides, before dropping to the ground with a thud. He winced and rolled over, panting.

The tension hung so thick in the air Bella could almost taste it. The silence was almost painful as Edward turned to her and dropped to his knees in front of her, pulling her hand into his.

She flinched and pulled away.

It was the first time she had ever pulled away from Edward and it tore her heart in two to do it.

In that moment, she was terrified of him.

"Bella—"

"Don't." She got to her feet and opened the car door, and climbed in without another word. It could have been thirty seconds or thirty minutes before Edward eventually joined her in the car and they drove away in silence, leaving Jacob Black a bloodied mess on the wet ground.

~x~X~x

Rain pounded heavy on the window, dim light seeping through the gap in the curtains as dawn broke. Edward had barely slept on the too-hard mattress of the hotel bed, his mind too muddled to relax.

His eyes wandered over Bella's sleeping form; her beauty still took his breath away. She whimpered in her sleep and her eyes twitched; it was a sight he was all too familiar with from the early days of their relationship. She was having a bad dream, and guilt washed over Edward as he realised that he was probably the cause.

She'd been completely silent the whole way back to the hotel in the car, and Edward had made no attempt to placate her, knowing she would need time to cool off.

Bella was angry with him, he knew that much. When he'd watched Jacob grab Bella so roughly, he saw red. All the tension and frustration that had been building up in him for months regarding his feelings toward Jacob had suddenly just snapped. He'd become like a man possessed by Satan himself, with just one goal.

To seek, kill and destroy.

He couldn't remember what made him stop, but when he did, the sight of Bella slumped beside the car looking more broken than he'd ever seen her almost broke his heart.

Had he lost her?

She hadn't uttered a single word to him since they'd returned to the hotel yesterday, and when she eventually came to bed she kept to her side and went straight to sleep.

Edward had watched her sleep, berating himself for over-reacting so much, for flying off the handle. But he was a jealous fucker and when he heard that asshole call Bella by her married name, he was without restraint.

"Hi." Bella's soft voice startled him, and he turned to find her staring up at him. Her beautiful brown eyes gave nothing away, and he realized he had to tread very carefully.

He cleared his throat. "Hey."

"That's um… quite a fat lip you've got there." Edward winced as Bella slowly lifted her hand and traced a single finger across his bottom lip.

"Yeah…" Edward caught her hand as she lowered it, linking their fingers together and resting them on his chest. "So… you're talking to me again?"

Her lower lip trembled as if she might cry.

"Edward…"

"Bella, I—"

They both spoke at the same time, and when their eyes met again, Edward let out a nervous chuckle. "You go."

"Edward, I was so fucking mad at you yesterday."

Edward felt his cock twitch, and silently cursed his libido. Despite the situation he couldn't help his natural reaction. Bella swearing always turned him on.

"Bella—"

"Don't interrupt me again, Edward!" Her cheeks were blazing and her eyes were wild, and Edward suddenly found himself wishing for hot make-up sex.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"If I'm honest, Edward, I was petrified. Watching you and Jacob fight was like I was twelve years old again," Bella whispered, a lone tear falling from the corner of her eye. She looked to where their hands were joined on his chest and sighed. "Has this ever happened before, Edward?"

"Fuck." Edward whispered, mostly to himself, as realization dawned on him. How could he be so stupid? He'd thought she was mad for beating on her ex, but she'd been _scared_ of him. How could he forget the vile things she'd witnessed as a child, the cruel beatings her step-father subjected her mother to? Watching him fight with Jacob had probably brought some bad memories to the surface.

"Fuck, Bella. No. No." He pulled her closer. "This has never happened before. Fuck."

His eyes darted all over Bella's face, searching for a sign, something that would tell him she believed him. Her eyes were blank, her lips drawn in a thin line.

"You have to know that I would never hurt you, Bella. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He threaded his fingers through her hair and traced his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tear.

"I… I want to believe you, Edward. I do. But this is all so new, and there's still so much we don't know about each other. You were like a stranger to me yesterday. I didn't know that guy at all."

"You know me, Bella. Please," He pulled her closer until their noses were touching, his breath hot on her face. "You have to believe me. I would _never_ hurt you. Or anyone else. I've never acted that way before, but you make me crazy. I can't control myself around you—"

"Are you saying it's _my _fault you beat my ex-husband to a pulp?" Bella's eyes narrowed and her face transformed into an ugly scowl.

"Fuck," he hissed. "No. I just mean, I couldn't control my reaction to someone hurting you, Bella. Or touching you. You're mine, Bella. I wanted to kill that fucker for putting his dirty paws on you."

The corner of Bella's mouth curved upward in a small half smile. "I love that you feel so protective of me, Edward. But you went too far. I can't be with someone who's violent."

Edward rolled over, pinning Bella to the bed and hovering over her. "I'm not. Please, Bella. You have to believe me. I would never hurt you. I _will _never hurt you. You mean everything to me, Bella." He gripped her shoulders firmly and kissed her forehead. "I love you," he said as he kissed both eyelids. "I love you," he said again as his lips travelled down her check to her neck. "I love you," as he traced her collarbone with his finger tips, his eyes boring into hers. "Say you believe me, Bella. Say you forgive me."

Edward knew it was low, trying to earn her forgiveness by seducing her, but he was overcome with a need so strong it burned his insides. A need to show her how much she meant to him.

"Edward…" she whimpered, the effect of his kisses muddling her brain, making her forget her train of thought, rendering her argument useless. She was helpless against his advances.

Edward halted his ministrations. "Bella… say it. Say you forgive me."

Bella squirmed below him, squeezing her thighs together, feeling the heat and moisture pooling there. She was suddenly very awake and desperate for release.

"I forgive you, Edward."

Edward heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck for that," he whispered, smiling against the skin of her chest. His fingers toyed with the strap of her tank top, before slipping it down her shoulder to expose her breast.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered, before sucking a nipple greedily into his mouth and sucking hard. Her heart fluttered at his words, her breathing speeding up in time with it's beat. He moved lower down her body, trailing kisses down her ribcage, dipping his tongue into her belly button. She whimpered and fisted the sheets below him.

"Mmm… Edward…." She whispered. "I…"

"Shh, baby. Let me love you. Let me show you." He nipped and licked and sucked along her hipbone, while one finger dipped into her wet heat, teasing with feathery touches.

She was panting now, unashamedly rocking her hips into his hand, trying to entice him in deeper. Edward plunged his finger in faster, enjoying the tight suck of her walls contracting around him. He was dying to taste her.

He removed his finger before his tongue darted out and took a long, slow swipe of her damp flesh, causing her to release a deep moan.

"Mmm…. You taste so fucking good. I could eat you all day," he said, before diving in with his tongue. Wrapping both hands around her thighs, Edward held on tight as Bella tried to squirm away.

"Fuck… Edward…." Bella whispered breathlessly. "It's too much…" She trailed off as Edward continued to flick, lick and tease her most sensitive part.

Bella yelped, and bucked her hips she felt Edward's tongue move from her clit down to her opening, before plunging deep inside her. Goosebumps pebbled on every inch of her skin, the shiver coursing through her body a stark contrast to the heat between her thighs.

Everything from the last few days became a blur as she lost herself to the sensations. Nothing mattered but this—the feeling of Edward's hands and mouth on her, how he worshipped her body with his. She was on another plane of existence, a different state of being.

Edward sped up the movements of his tongue inside her and pinched her clit hard between his thumb and forefinger, and watched, awestruck, as Bella shattered gloriously from his efforts. She stilled and let out a long moan, before rolling her hips furiously, her walls contracting wildly as she rode out her orgasm, shaking and whimpering.

Edward wasted no time in crawling up her body, lining his dick up with her slick opening, and sliding in with one smooth stroke.

"Fuck," he hissed, with gritted teeth as he buried himself deep inside her; the sensation of her walls still twitching made him almost breathless.

"Oh God… Edward…."

"Fuck, Bella. So good," he panted. "Always." _Thrust._ "So." _Thrust._ "Fucking." _Thrust._ "Good."

"Mmm, yes Edward," she whispered, raising her knees and wrapping her legs tight around his waist, hooking her ankles at his ass, pulling him deeper inside her.

"Love you… would never… never hurt you," he grunted as he thrust deeper.

"Show me, Edward. Love me. Take me. Fuck me."

Edward let out a low, guttural moan as he pushed in as deep as he could go and set a steady, relentless rhythm, pounding into her harder than he ever had before. This was more desperate than they'd ever been; animalistic in its nature, raw and primal, the need to just be joined together as one more powerful than ever before.

"Shit, Bella. Need to… Can you come again?"

Her moans were becoming higher pitched as the pleasure pulsed through her body.

"So close, Edward," she panted.

Edward began to swivel his hips with each thrust, hitting her from a new angle, teasing the sweet spot deep inside her.

"Fuck, Bella. Gonna… .ungh… come so hard… fuck… please…"

"Kiss me!" she shrieked, knowing it would be all she would need to send her careening over the edge of bliss.

Edward leaned in, capturing her lips with his, kissing her hard, their tongues mingling desperately. Edward winced at the pain in his swollen lip, but he was too lost in the moment to care. Bella moaned into his mouth as she tasted herself on his lips and shattered around him again, black spots dancing over her eyes as she came hard.

Bella's orgasm tipped Edward over the edge, his thrusts growing sloppy as he spilled his release deep inside her, before flopping on top of her.

Their panting breaths and the rain pounding down on the window were the only sounds in the room as they both recovered. The silence stretched out between them as their heartbeats slowed.

Edward made to roll off Bella but her legs squeezing his hips halted his movements.

"Stay. Just stay right here," she whispered, her voice shaky. "Stay."

"I'll always stay, Bella. I love you."

Bella's heart swelled in her chest at his words. She couldn't hear it enough.

"Are we good?" Edward hedged. Bella stared at him for a long moment, studying his face, as if weighing up her answer. For Edward it felt like a hundred years.

She nodded slowly. "We're good. Let's go home, Edward."

Edward dropped his face into her neck and sighed in relief. He was already home.

* * *

**A/N **

**Sorry about the wait, you guys. I moved house a few weeks ago and things have been a little crazy!**

**July also got a little crazy with contests, which took up most of my writing time, I had a few plot bunnies that just wouldn't rest! I wrote a collaboration entry with Twilightladies for the Dirty Talkin' Edward Contest and an individual entry for the TLS Angst Contest. There are some fabulous entries in both contests, so I would encourage you to hop over to the pages, read the entries, and leave the stories some love! I *think* voting closes today or tomorrow on the Angst contest, and the Dirty Talking Edward has a few more days too! **

**Please remember that contests are anonymous, so if you have pre-read or beta'd any of the entries and you leave a review, or even if you recognise someone's writing style, please do not mention anything in a review that may compromise the author's identity. This can lead to disqualification for an author, which has happened to one entry already in the TLS Angst Contest. The entry is now posted under the authors profile, and it's called "Irrevocable Trust" by Shelly Duran. It's a great read, and I encourage you to read it and leave Shelly some love! **

**In other news, Twilightladies and I are hosting a "Dior Rob" Twific Contest! We are very excited about this and looking forward to reading some great one-shots based on the Dior Rob pics! If you're on Twitter follow us on diorrobcontest / sparklymeg / twilightladies1**

**Back to Ordinary Girl, I have 3 more chapters outlined. We are nearing the end now, and I don't like to rush an ending, so please be patient with me. I can't say when the next update will be, but I promise you there will not be another long wait like this one! I may even go back to drabble-ish 1000 word chapters over the next few days just to get something out there and make up for the long wait! I thank each and every one of you for sticking with me this far, but I also understand if you are no longer with me! Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, and recs this story.**

**Love and kisses, Megan xx**


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